For me, 2005 was a year best forgotten. At least I assume so, since I can barely remember any of it. I think I got out to the theater twice, and each time sitting in the dark without any intoxicants to extinguish my thoughts was such a trial, that I kept looking up and expecting […]
Syriana
December 17, 2005 by
Written and Directed by Stephen Gaghan Starring: – Kayvan Novak as Arash – George Clooney as Bob Barnes – Amr Waked as Mohammed Sheik Agiza – Christopher Plummer as Dean Whiting – Jeffrey Wright as Bennett Holiday – Chris Cooper as Jimmy Pope Why on earth do I continue to see movies like Syriana? Why, […]
UNIVERSAL SOLDIER
May 25, 2005 by
Released: 1992 Jimmy–Mike from Hobart’s Big Brother–tries his hand… Tagline: The Future Has a Bad Attitude. Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence: Ghosts of Vietnam are no match for Belgian ass. Homoeroticism: Well, to be honest, I was initially confused by the early appearance of the female lead. Shes a tough-talking, […]
AGUIRRE DER ZORN GOTTES
May 20, 2005 by
Written and Directed by Werner Herzog Starring: – Klaus Kinski as Don Lope de Aguirre – Helena Rojo as Inez – Del Negro as Brother Gaspar de Carvajal – Ruy Guerra as Don Pedro de Ursua – Peter Berling as Don Fernando de Guzman Watching Aguirre: Wrath of God you realize that Apocalypse Now is […]
METALLICA: SOME KIND OF MONSTER
August 22, 2004 by
I’m just going to say this up front: Metallica: Some Kind of Monster is funnier than Spinal Tap. Holy shit, I haven’t had a good laugh like that in a long time. See, in Spinal Tap the theme was the same–once dominant rock band falls from grace and does their damndist to get “it” back–but […]
COMMANDO
March 13, 2004 by
More than you could possibly imagine. I mean all the crap about Arnold being Der Gropin’fuhrer was just a rightwing-ruse to distract Californians from the fact that Schwarzenegger has starred in the single gayest movie ever made.
BALLISTIC: ECKS VS. SEVER
August 19, 2003 by
Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw Flanders. Screw […]
