Sideline Confessions

Ed Wood is alive and well and living as a black woman.

The Phoenix Rises

So low on the Redbox food chain that Google images can’t find shit.

Pawn Shop Chronicles

When Elijah Wood masturbates, he masturbates to himself.

Dead in Tombstone

Apparently, there’s a Krispy Kreme in hell.

The Contractor

Because all movies are Danny Trejo movies.


When in doubt, add Busey rape.

Inara, The Jungle Girl

Film Title

Inara, The Jungle Girl


Two breasts good, no breasts bad.


Some guy.


Nobody you've ever heard of.

Yes, I watched this movie.

She’s Crushed

Suppose you were a murderous, sobbing psychopath, and suppose you were a woman; but I repeat myself.

Flying Monkeys

Surprisingly, this is a movie about flying monkeys.

Movie 43

The worst movie ever made. Except for PRECIOUS. That shit’s much worse.