I KNOW WHO KILLED ME

As much as I wanted this to be The Double Life of Veronique, I couldnt imagine Krzysztof Kieslowski resorting to owl hallucinations…

THE MARINE

Apparently, black men do not drive minivans. Ever.

BLOODRAYNE

While jailed, Rayne is seduced by Sebastian and though she wants to bite his neck, he convinces her to make out first, which then turns into a wild humping session.

DEATH WISH V THE FACE OF DEATH

Bronson loses umpteenth love interest, resumes human slaughter.

RAISE YOUR VOICE

Hillary Duff plants one in the Shithouse.

ELEKTRA

87 minutes in — nude, unconscious, and covered in boils.

50 FIRST DATES

Before I leave you, perhaps never to return, let me remind you that this film made over $120 million at the box office.

13 GOING ON 30

Hell, the young actress who played her as a 13-year-old had nicer jugs.

HERBIE FULLY LOADED

They didnít even have the decency to restore the rack in an unrated directorís cut.

CURSED

Is this the new Teen Wolf?