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10 WORST METAL ALBUMS OF THE 1980′s

It takes big, sweaty, vein-laden balls to release the most offensive cover song in the history of music, but here it is:

By : February 11, 2007
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TOP 10 WORST BLACK METAL RECORDS OF ALL TIME

The rest of the CD drags its ass around like a worm-ridden hyena on a hot afternoon.

By : January 13, 2007
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TOP 8 MOST ESSENTIAL BLACK METAL RECORDS

Heaven Shall Burn is the pinnacle of black metal in many ways. This album is just simply fucking hellish.

By : January 13, 2007
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LORD WORM INTERVIEW

I’m a private language instructor; so happily, I have very little contact with urchins. They like me, I avoid them…

By : January 13, 2007
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THE REAL MCKENZIES – 10 000 SHOTS

The Real McKenzies are from Vancouver, BC, otherwise known as Canada, otherwise known as an irrelevant expanse of largely uninhabitable land…

By : November 4, 2006
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DARK FORTRESS – Seance

It’s all about what grim conditioner you’re lathering your locks with in the morning.

By : November 4, 2006
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MAYHEM – DE MYSTERIIS DOM SATHANAS

It sounds as if he’s laboring through a crippling, cramp-racked, 46 minute bowel obstruction the likes of which no other human being has endured.

By : October 22, 2006
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SUFFOCATION: SELF TITLED

Frankly, I’m tired of talking about how good this band is.

By : October 22, 2006
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BOB DYLAN MODERN TIMES

There are numerous objections leveled at Bob Dylan, the most annoying being that his voice — nasal, whiny, now grizzled with age — does everything but actually sing…

By : August 31, 2006
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DISSECTION – REINKAOS

The child in me is now dead. Reinkaos is officially the most disgraceful display of spiritless has-beenism I’ve ever had the misfortune of suffering through.

By : August 29, 2006