It’s a thriller that is as convoluted as a Mexican election but presents nary an inconsistency or implausibility.

Designed for your DVD player

Seriously, though, the Poochie-ness of the film was hard for me to stomach most of the time.

Blade II is what Charlie’s Angels should have been. Let’s run through the ingredients for a good, stupid movie.

At least its social statements are largely accidental and laid back, rather than pushy and insistent.

Ann Coulter would call Seagal a traitor. Then he would put her in an arm lock and snap her radius and ulna like Twix.

Still, the Hard Core Logo is worth seeing if you are interested in the subject matter.

The incomparable George C. Scott and the seedy underground porn scene of the 1970s –- is any further explanation really necessary?

It’s like Shallow Grave meets the The Walton’s with the musical element of The Jungle Book.

My never wavering belief in the bottomless well of human stupidity has been reconfirmed.