Category: Reviews
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Voodoo Possession
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Read more: Voodoo PossessionIt’s not Duran Duran’s Love Voodoo. It’s the other kind.
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The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones
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Read more: The Mortal Instruments: City of BonesWhere will it end? Where will it end…
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The ABC’s of Marriage
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Read more: The ABC’s of MarriageFor Other Great ABC Rants click here! Attorneys– Eventually you will need one. Why are you starting off this thing in such a negative fashion? Why immediately poison the well? Well, in America the divorce rates are shrinking, but so are the marriage rates, so deal with the fact that there are twice as many…
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Ninja 2: Shadow of a Tear
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Read more: Ninja 2: Shadow of a TearWhite ninja seeks revenge, punishes many evil brown men.
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Paranormal Activity 5: The Marked Ones
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Read more: Paranormal Activity 5: The Marked OnesThis film’s a ‘ghetto’ rebranding, but more respectful of the inhabitants the barrio than Leprechaun in the Hood.
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The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013 Ben Stiller version)
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Read more: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013 Ben Stiller version)Cheer up sad sack! All you need to become the actualized person you were meant to be is an unlimited travel budget and lots of money! Good looks help too!
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American Hustle (2013)
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Read more: American Hustle (2013)If opening scenes are trying to grab your attention, this one certainly succeeds as we see a clownishly attired Christian Bale orchestrate a really bad hairdo for something like 5 minutes. Equally as shocking is his physique as the formerly ripped Batman has put on 43 pounds of mostly paunch. The plot of this film…
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Junior
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Read more: JuniorFather, why hast thou forsaken me?
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Anchorman 2: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
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Read more: Anchorman 2: The Legend of Ron BurgundyUltimately, the film feels more like the Ron Burgundy sketch show than a comedy film. But overall, it’s too disorganized, a grunting stream of non sequiturs thrown out in a desperate chase to dig every vein of comedy gold that can be found.
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The Hobbit 2: The Smaugening
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Read more: The Hobbit 2: The SmaugeningOne of the textbooks symptoms of a bad sequel is one that tries to merely repeat what you liked about the film, while jostling you sharply in the ribs to remind you of what you once enjoyed.