IN AMERICA

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Critics will tell you that Jim Sheridan’s In America is one of the best films of the year…

ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK REVIEW (1981)

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You really don’t want to fuck with Snake Plissken.

COBRA

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First of all, Sly Stallone spends the entire movie wearing the sort of sunglasses worn by Rob Halford in at least a half dozen Judas Priest videos. Add to that a group of terrorists who gather in a swimming pool…

FREEWAY II: CONFESSIONS OF A TRICKBABY

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He could stop there, but then he throws in a child molesting, transvestite, cannibal nun.

THE HOURS

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Rug-munchers of the world, unite!

IMPACT: THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST

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One of the least competent documentaries ever made, Tim Chey’s Impact: The Passion of the Christ would be deeply troubling if it weren’t so damn pathetic.

ENOUGH

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In movies, a woman can take seven kickboxing lessons and defeat a man who outweighs her by 100 pounds.

FAST AND THE FURIOUS, THE

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The plot is Texas dumb and drags its ass around in places. But I like the movie.

FANTASTIC FOUR

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There’s only one thing that matters in a film like this; do we get to see Jessica Alba’s tits?

FAHRENHEIT 9/11

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And because Moore doesn’t disguise his motives, any criticism about his biases is an exercise in absurdity.