Game Of The Year 2014

Game of the Year 2014 (And other unfashionably late awards) INTRODUCTION: THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN DONE IN LIKE DECEMBER. I WAS TOO BUSY PLAYING BEEP BOOP PEW PEWS EATING DORY TOES AND REPLACING MY BLOOD WITH MOUNTAIN DEW HILL WATER VIA DIALYSIS. I ALSO WAS HAVING TOO MUCH FUN OPPRESSING BOTH MY OWN BROODMARE AND […]

The Muppets Christmas Carol (1992)

Film Title

The Muppets Christmas Carol (1992

Director

Brian Henson

Cast

Michael Cain as Scrooge
Kermit as Bob Cratchit
Ms. Piggy as Mrs. Cratchit
Gonzo as Charles Dickens
Statler & Waldorf as The Marleys

Anyone who has been reading Ruthless Reviews faithfully knows that I have already reviewed a half-dozen versions of this Christmas classic. The Muppets animation hybrid is the most underwhelming of the lot of remakes of the Dickens novel that I have reviewed. The Muppets Christmas Carol (1992) takes a slightly different approach to the Carol, […]

Gone Girl

  Currently, everyone is freaking out about the movie Gone Girl. Whos everyone? Well, for starters, people who have read the book (not me) and people who love David Fincher movies (me). This was evidenced by the crowd I was with at the noon showing on opening day a bunch of ladies who’ve loved Gillian […]

I Am Your Crazy Facebook Friend: Israel / Palestine Edition.

I’m your Christian-Patriot Facebook Friend. Let met tell you a few things about myself: I’m equipped with the fiery hypocro-spite of…

Breaking Bad Review

It’s a great show, but I’m sick of hearing you yap about it.

Film Review: The Wolverine (2013)

Film Review: The Wolverine (2013)   126 Minutes, PG-13 for atomic devastation, seppukku, miscellaneous Japanese persons getting disemboweled. Fair Value Rating of The Wolverine: $11.50. Wolverine’s the best at what he does- and what he does is stabbing a lot of people.   Director James Mangold’s first superhero flick manages an entertaining midsummer adventure with […]

Orange Is The New Black: Netflix Review

A comedy/drama by the creator of Weeds shows us that the way forward for feminism is just admitting that women are ridiculous.

Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor

Holy shit, Brandy has AIDS!

Red 2 Movie Review – Welcome to the Age of Geriatric Action

Film Title

Red 2

Synopsis

Retired CIA agents are accused of being nuclear terrorists. To avoid being killed, they must seek out a rogue nuke that was hidden in Moscow during the cold war.

Director

Dean Parisot

Cast

Bruce Willis
Mary-Louise Parker
John Malkovich
Helen Mirren
Sir Anthony Hopkins
Catherine Zeta-Jones
Byung-hun Lee
Brian Cox
Neal McDonough

If The Expendables was the final roar of a withered Tyrannosaurus Rex, Red 2 is more like a soft heave of breath as the dinosaur lays dying. Welcome to the decade of 100 male versions of Norma Desmond, all shot in bullet time. Welcome to the decade of geri-action.

2013 NBA Draft: Expert Breakdown

The NBA draft is always one of my favorite spectacles, kids in funny suits awkwardly giving interviews. The embarrassing family members, the hot girl friends,