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TELEVISED POKER’S FIVE GREATEST MELTDOWNS

Poker is not making babies or shopping, so women are terrible at it.

By Erich Schulte: August 22, 2009
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VISIONEERS

Galifianakis is utterly wasted in this indie cliché-fest.

By Bones: August 22, 2009
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FUNNY PEOPLE

What the fuck is this shit?

By Sax: August 21, 2009
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THE BIG HEAT

When Lee Marvin asks if you want two lumps with your coffee, he’s not talking about sugar.

By Matt Cale: August 18, 2009
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RANCID: LET THE DOMINOES FALL

To this particular critic, now in his mid-30’s and listening to like six new records a year, LTDF is a helluva solid comeback.

By Chester: August 14, 2009
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DISTRICT 9

The best film of 2009 is here to KILL SHIT.

By Alex K.: August 14, 2009
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POINT BREAK

You’re cold because all of the blood is running out of your body, Roach. You’re gonna be dead soon. I hope it was worth it.

By Chester: August 9, 2009
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REPULSION

Polanski has warned you – don’t buy the loaf.

By Alex K.: August 9, 2009
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G.I. JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA

This can’t be happening.

By Alex K.: August 8, 2009
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THE COVE

What the fuck are the Japanese killing this time?

By Matt Cale: July 30, 2009