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USER FEEDBACK
Mistaken identity
I don't know shit about Cradle of Filth (or filth about Cradle of Shit, for that matter), but #4 is clearly Michael Jackson on steroids. His head, and even his nose, are bigger (a la Barry Bonds), but it's unmistakeably the King of Pop. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Dani Filth
Dani Filth is god. And cradle of filth is the most kick ass band ever. Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
angel are you f'n kidding me
If he is your god go die with the rest of the faggots. C.O.F. really gives black metal a bad name. With their oh look at us were romantic goth vampire losers. I hope they and you would quit breathing my air and fucking die. Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
dude.....
aren't all of these fags the guys we used to beat up in the bathroom at school? jesus fucking christ in a coke can! black metal gives its self a bad name, haha! come here and take your wedgie like a man, you fucking loser nerd. suki, lee Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
bull****
Blackmetal is one of the most evil music to be. They had to do something so they wouldnt look like the rest of this bland & pathetic world. Blackmetal is not for pussies so they try not to dress like pussies. F.T.W. ALL HAIL BLACKMETAL!!!!!!! Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Death Metal
Black metal is ridiculous. It IS for pussies so they dress like vampire pussies. Death metal is so much better. I hope I'm not the only person that thinks death metal is so much better than that whiny, low-production, screeching, all-around-bad-sounding ridiculous black metal shit. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Liek WTF? o_O
You're all a bunch of losers, get a freakin' life ffs. That's how they dress on stage, what's your f**kin' problem? I mean today they're on stage looking all satanic saying that they eat lil' children for breakfast and tomorrow they could be in church or something. They dress like that so they wouldn't look like those cock-sucking metal band wannabes like Linkin Park or Limp Bizkit. If you don't like it go listen to your N'SYNC albums. Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
it's rocks me...
what a review...i really loved it although it was my first time..it's really rocks me,buddy...i wanna be that..(vampire)..... Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
WEFWEFW
wtf is wrong with you!!you guys are really stupid!stop kidding with BLACK METAL bands!FUCK YOU ALL Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
Heh.
This is great! I wouldn't consider Cradle of Shit..erm Filth to be black metal, though. I like Death Metal AND Black Metal (BLASPHEMY!) and still found this funny. Don't take everything so seriously people, they might play some great music but they also dress funny. I know I for one couldn't play any instrument wearing all that stuff without decapitating myself, though. Which would actually make a good stage act..hmm. Also, Abbath is mentioned thrice. Ha ha ha! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
A BM band we must never forget
Lets not forget Venom, a true Black Metal band. Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
kill yourself!
who the fuck do you think u are u stupid asshole?you have no right to criticize.i love these pics and also the bands.if you don't like them,keep your fucking stupid opinions for yourself. Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
hello
Hahaha - that made me laugh so much. Black Metallers dress so ridiculously. How they can perform without impaling themselves is one of lifes mysteries. That Dani picture looks so stupid. I reckon the #3 Immortal picture should be number one, but nice order anyway. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Ummm.....
What the fuck is wrong with all you people!? Cradle of Filth are the best damn band ever. They beat your sorry asses! Dani is fuckin awsome. He's a metal god! I think he's the most talented musician ever. His vocals and lyrics are so original and impressive. So what if they're diiffernt from all the othe black metal bands. They stand apart from the genre. And why is it that when every band changes a little bit, they are called sell outs? They're just getting more popular. And all those other bla Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
Fucking Mall Goths...
Dani's girl- Why dont you go run along and listen to your slipknot and My chemical Romance you stupid fucking twit. Dani Filth is a poor excuse for a human being and sings like his balls are in a fucking vice grip. Alongside that, Im ashamed that people can't take a fucking joke and laugh. These are hilarious pictures. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
hilarious
The music is great but...They look fuckin rediculous. All those who disagree need to throw out your dungeons and dragons games, move out of your mommas basement and get a fuckin life. Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
ha
all of you people that are saying "stop making fun of my bitch" need to shut the fuck up. this is funny. if you wanna be stupid, you can go kill yourself. you don't know shit. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
BOO
"Angel says Dani Filth is god. And cradle of filth is the most kick ass band ever. Rating: 1 out of 5 stars" really ?!?!? and i spent all these years thinking the opposite... cmon... dani filth is god ??? he's not even tall enough to be human Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Fix your facts, please.
For more totally fucking stupid Dani pictures, Metal Hammer Magazine has him in there for the Halloween issue. Try to find it on backorder. He looks fucking ridiculous. Also, C.O.F. is from Britain. Whoever wrote this said Helsinki, Sweden. First of all, Helsinki is in Finland. Geography is important. They originally formed in Ipswitch, Suffolk, England. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
love it!
shit your funny! it's funny cause it's all so true! Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
Too gay
Hey, I can not understand why you think a belly free leather vest, nice braces or some fuckin big ass geometric formed modern art shin guards looks ridiculous? Ok, for real, I love black metal but I wish in some time that more of these jerks will start to recognize that this doesn't look evil, but really gay!!! For Black Metal Newbies: There are also bands dressed like heterosexuals. Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
*giggle*
Thank goodness that the reviews so far are not all adoring(or hyper critical) of the pictures. I like most of the featured bands and that just made it funnier for me. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Great Piece
A witty critique on an equally hilarious series of pictures. The majority of comments were a healthy reminder of why I haven't seen sunlight in 2 months. Miss Hannah - it's Ipswich, not Ipswitch. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Pussy comment
You think you're funny???? You damn are!! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Rolling On The Floor...!
*dies laughing* I don't think I have laughed this hard in years!! I literally have tears of laughter streaming down my face!! My laughter even brought my friend in from the other room wondering what the frikken hell happened to me!! hahahah Who ever wrote this has quite a sense of humour!!!! HAHAHAHA...!! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
AHAHHA
AHAHHAHAHHAAAAAAAAHHAHA when i was 16 i used to see men at my local "metal nite" with shapes drawn on their faces. hehh. dani filth is a fag, i emailed him about how much of a fag he is and he never replied. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
vsvsvs
vsvs Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
satan taking a piss here
bleeekkk, braagh, burrrgghhhekkk, burp!! hehe who ever did this is fucking rich, wnice order expecially ur ID pic is the most ridiculous wanna be pic ever!!! Norsk arrrk blakk metal rahhhh!!!!!! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
enjoyed it
dimmu needs to get back to the stormblast shit this new crap is pissing me off and dani should go die cuz they recorded a song with ville from him on thornography so ya good review though Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
HORGH!!!!
cof, the worst band they suck dick Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
PPPDF
In the name of all motherfucking christ sake. PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING LAME. People just get lmaer and lamer from day to day. Periously, I didnt laugh the whole 5 minuts I was reading this shit. Not that I don't have a sense of humor, it's just that it wasn't fucking funny. FUCK YOU ALL MOTHERFUCKING JEWS!!!! Don't you have anything to do but to make fun of pics...GET A FUCKING LIFE...while you people are sitting and laughing in your houses, those people actually DO something with their lives. Well Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Posterity
Ahh, The Original And Best, nothing beats it. I still get a chuckle out of this, even on the 20th viewing. The only question is, when's the top 10 for 2006 coming out, Mike? weavie xxx Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
love black metal and this was funny
i hear people in here, accusing people of having a sense of humor about this, i'm happy someone finally pointed out how ridiculous those metal bands can look like at times, don't get me wrong, i love black metal, but when i saw someone reply "to get a life" if you make fun of this, then i got news for that loser, look at most people in here and the look at how maniac from mayhem lives for a day, and aks yourself, who has a life and who doesn't? considering they dress up ... and i don't Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Hmmm...
Where were you during the Geography lesson? Helsinki is in Finland, not Sweden. You got the Die Hard syndrome. Otherwise these pages rock. Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
quit that shit
seriously guys, the Black metal bashing has got to stop. These pictures are hilarious, but goofy appearances do not change the fact that Immortal is one of the most badass bands to ever exist. and lets not forget, some of the best BM bands don't even wear corpsepaint (like, oh i don't know, EMPEROR!) Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
LMFAO
omg some of these guys look so fucking funny!!! how can they take themselves seriously? are they under the impression that they look good? dunno what was wrong with dani though :S hes so cool and although some of you might not like him dont be fucking tight bastards! at least he makes an effort unlike some... Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
LAAAG
yar this pages being up for to long, decent album with darkthrone? what the hell wrong with them, you could give them $.50 to record album and it would kick ass. Oh and yeh cradle and dimmu are boring arsed bands Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
pretty good
i luv black and death metal but i still think this is funny. cuz some of the bands they look stupid but i like them.. in some pix they look good in some they dont. that doesnt mean they suck. thats alll i have to say and rock on Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
COF
Take Dani bum-f**ker out of there. COF is not black metal Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
ROFL
OMFG this was so funny...I don't understand why ppl react so pissed...I mean, I listen to black metal,death metal,and even new wave shit and so much more and most of the bands on this list I like,but it is so true that most of them really shouldn't do photoshoots because they end up looking way gay. especially Immortal...nothing wrong with them,their music is cool,but their problem is that they always pick the gay pictures from a shoot...and it's hilarious too!chill all you pissed off folks,it's Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Thanks
Thanks for the laughs, that was one of the funniest things I have seen for a while. Thanks for making my night! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
HA
damn this stuff is good. im a black metal fan, but sometimes people go over the top. and for the record cradle of filth is NOT black metal. IMMORTAL, EMPEROR, MAYHEM, VENOM...THAT is black metal. and people, cant you take a fucking joke? damn settle the fuck down. black metal kicks ass and all the losers who say other wise can go suck their linkin park records. ROCK ON \m/ Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
less than three
I love this. Mike from Hobart is a genius. I have this page to thank for introducing me to Ruthless in the first place. I salute you, Mike, and all the bands featured. Especially Immortal. \m/ (>_<) \m/ Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
LMAO
Wow, can't you fucking lamers take a damn joke. Come on now. You little faggots, go whine somewhere else. Anyways I have never laughed so hard. Aw man, those pictures were fucking hilarious. So were the comments. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
thankyou dani
dani looks alot like my x carlos stemplisky lol he had 4 inches at best can any one plz help us save death metal cant metallica start drinking cant ozzy pop more pills cant any one save us help help Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
hehehe
OMG about the tag team was really funny. but about dark funeral: what is wrong with a bit of a belly??? I think its cute :-) and dani really sucks yeah if I hear the guy sing I want to put a sock in his mouth, anything as long as he keeps his mouth shut... Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
black metal sucks big time!
excellent work! great laughing matter funnier that even south park! and this great work also shows us that black metal is the lamest thing in the universe. this rubbish shouldn't be considered as metal. It puts a great shame on our great music. Can you put those clowns into the same bowl with giants such as Maiden or Priest? Definetely not. And if you guys wanna see more proof that black metal is the lamest thing ever pelase watch the documentary called Metal: A Headbanger's Journey. Here yo Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
this is hilarious
Thankyou so much, i havent giggled like this in ages... You totally made my day Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
fuckin faggots!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Death metal rules you fuckin pussies!fuck faggots like COF and dimmu borgir with their pouting faces covered in homosexual lipstick.gorgoroth count grishnackt and burzum are all names taken from Lord of the rings...how fucking gay and retarded is that?Immortal rules,fuck the rest Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
silly
All bands go for a look. Black or goth metal has a strong romatic\vampire connection. All metal is to some extent theatric. Some prefer grease paint and subspecies getups(referance the right movies idiots) This music is born from horror movies the groups dress as such. Also i think dani's wife and child might protest your insistance hes gay:\ Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
You all Are Sad
Who ever wrote this is clearly not in to the black metal scene or at least they dont have respect for the art of it. For instants Everyone hates Cradle of Filth because there different and they "Sell out" But in Reality there great musicians and are really talented. there just different, what im saying is you should have respect for them cause they got somewhere unlike all of you and you garge black metal bands Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
ha
this was fucking funny how lame can people get. cradle of filth kinda sucks but i would sooo fuck dani ugh hes hot. Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
sheesh
youre all stupid Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
dimmu borgir
daany Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
GO OUT AND KILL YOUR SELF
What da fuck do you fucking bloody freak know about fucking black metal?!?!?!?! You are fucking retarded!!! Not these 10 pictures you have puted on this page!!! ok maybe dani is gay and dimmu borgir are gay but IMMORTAL, SATYRICON, DARKTHRONE!!! Better put your own picture here you fucking retard. I bet that you looks like fucking Tarja from Nightwish you fucking bloody idiot. Go outside your farm and fuck something or be fucked or even better go and jump under the train. Save the world of your Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
lol
hahahahahahha FUCKING BLACK METAL SUCKS HARD!!! THOSE GUYS ARE RETARDS!!! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Yeah Funny but don't forget their contribution...
Bacically, I LOL when I saw the pic...but we should not judge all of the nominees in one point of view only. Some of them are pioneers in this scence. Their contribution to Metal Industry are highly distinguishabe and it creates other dimension of metal. But I still wanna laugh when I saw the picture...HAHAHAHA...LONG LIVE METAL! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
do they have spikes up their ass as well?
Even though COF has sold out and not to mention most of the bands consisting of the brand DARK METAL or DEATH METAL just to get recognition, some of these pictures were funny as hell. But they can get away with dressing like drag queen vampires because the music is still kick ass. By the way my girlfriend and I laugh for at least 10 min. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
...
i doubt any one who left feedback wil ever read this...i just wanted to let...99% of you know that if given the oppurtunity, i would beat every ounce of life out of every single one of you and mutilate your bodies until you were nothing but a bloody corpse, after which i would force you to drink urine and eat feces before casting you into a raging inferno doused with oil. For fuck sakes, is anybody in here not a piece of religously retarted subhuman scum? Even the ones that like metal, I'm ash Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
oops
"i would beat every ounce of life out of every single one of you ... after which i would force you to drink urine and eat feces" I know that you were not referring to me as I haven't posted, and I'm a pedant, but dead people can't eat or drink. And what's your problem with them anyway. Chill. Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
black metal
To all the mother fuckers out ther that are talking shit on black metal can die under the blade of black metal!!! You stupid son of bitches don't even know what the fuck your talking about. You should all have your tongues cut from your faggot faces. I thought this page was fucking hilarious, and I live for black metal!!! Lastly...FUCK CRADLE OF FILTH!!! \m/ Hails \m/ Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
I AM SPEECHLESS
WOW...FOR ME TO BE SPEECHLESS...THAT SAYS SOMETHING...FIRST OFF, I LOVE METAL. HELL I AM METAL! I LOVE ALL TYPES OF METAL, BUT BLACK METAL IS FOR REJECTS THAT NEVER HAD A MOM AND DADDY RAISE THEM AND/OR WERE NEVER HUGGED AS KIDS, AND/OR JUST NEVER FIT IN...I DO ADMIT THAT I LOVE DIMMU BORGIR, BUT THE WHOLE POINT OF BLACK METAL IS SO OVER THE TOP THAT ITS ACTUALLY FUNNY. THIS IS THE FUNNIEST SHIT I HAVE SEEN IN A LONG TIME...PLEASE, PLEASE, YOU NEED MORE STUFF LIKE THIS...AND TO ALL YOU BLACK M Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
gotta laugh
I will start off by saying I have many albums by many of these bands and I love my metal, but you do have to have a laugh at some of the posers on these and many photos of black metal or just metal bands in general look I love Mr Filth he is hot but he knows he is a utter wanker in his paid time but I'm sure at home he runs around in trackies and fluffy slippers and laughs to himself at how bizarre he looks in his photos, I am sure they all do. It's nice when someone points out that even though Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Cof is faggoth
all you vaginal douches who think cradle are good are gay your all liek they are a bit different but thats what sets them apart form the rest of the black metal bands, first of all they are not black metal the are faggoth metal (fag goth) for those who dont know, and for those who are like well there first album is first album sucks they use the same riffs in the songs and dani cant sing for shit fuck off and listen to your crappy shit 1st and 2nd wave of black metal kicks ass nothing past that Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
Idiot
Cradle Of Filth is NOT from Helsinki or Sweden. TWO DIFFERENT COUNTRIES MAN! They´re from the UK Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
COF
When the F*&K did cradle of filth claim they were a black metal band. Come on someone give us the link where the band claimed they were a black metal evan when they started. Hence COF never really sold out did they. Also on the Nymphetamine they had a track called Guiled C&^t which was heavy as sin. Hardly what i call selling out. Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
fuck you
!.eat your shit out of my dick.You are a total idiot.Rott In eternal flames of hell.may satan devour your soul Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
blaat
black metal just rules. <3 Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
Gaahahaha!
Blimey, I've known this site for ages but I just love to read those comments on the pictures again and again and again and again...! It's just great. And I find it kinda funny that there are still so many "Trve Norwegian Black Metal" guys left that don't seem to have a sense of humour. Come off it, you bellyachers. Even if you like Black Metal (I also do) - that doesn't mean you have to take this whole "I'm so evil 'cause I look like a Panda bear" shit seriously. Be honest - those guys simply Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
The Funniest Ever!!!!
This site was really funny. They all look like WWF Wrestlers which is so funny. I thought i would never see the day when Black Metal would be wearing top hats which makes it so funny. I really thought Black Metal was suppose to be scary but it looks so ridiculously funny. I guess Satan got them all dressed so we could have a good laugh at them. I know Satan is laughing at them too. Well anyways Black Metal seems to be nothing but old guys trying to be clowns. Great Reviews!!!!! Very Funny!!!! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
All hail the true metal godz
immortal and mayhem, now those are true black metal bands, all those other guys are just a bunch of pussies with fuckin make up.keep it brutal \666/ Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
hell-puppy sex?
So funny, laughing my lungs out! Yes, Cradle of filth isn't black-metal. It's some kind of wannabe black-metal mixed up with some sick porno movie and Goth inspired lyrics. But I think Mr. Filth is incredibly hot, look at him! Who doesn’t want to take this hell-puppy home and bite him? I do, I do, I do! Even if Dark Funeral is so much better, (and black-metal) I would not take Lord Ahriman with me. I don’t understand why his stomach always have to hang there outside his pants, he looks like Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
everyone fuckin relax.
First off, site is entertaining. But more important, the black metal loyalists should f'n relax. I love my metal too, but all you kids will look back in 10 years and wonder why so f'n angry? Love your metal- black, death, speed, or otherwise and smoke a fatty, not get pissed about shit. (COF is AOK) ;) But listen to early Bathory! oh, and... SATAN! Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
GOLD REVIEW
I havent laughed this much in ages.....brilliant....gold , pure gold:) :) :) Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Regards!!!
Mike, you are obviously very unknowledgable about our scene! Cradle of filth is infact from east Suffolk, England and not Sweden! Wasn't that a Suffocation hoodie you were wearing in one of your pics? Hot Topic reprint? (LOL) You should do your homework before posting ignorant rantings about artist who are serious Satanist/Musicians! Bad publicity is always good for us! (LOL) Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
greatest
this is the best thing i've read in years. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Be carefull
Be carefull people, I know my black metal and I understand the power that can come from it, It would be best if you did not say anything bad about black metal. Black metal has the power to harm those who make light of it. Trust me. Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
one scared niggah
dese honkeys scare da shit out me.no one fucks wit our hood but dese muthafukkahs would send us spooks runnin back to our big fat mammies. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
black meal is awesome, but this is funny
even though i LOVE black metal and death metal, i have to fucking agree that this is pretty funny. I mean, even if you like it people you can still laugh at what they wear. And danis girl wtf is with you. Dani is NOT the most talented musician ever, you seriously do not have any musical talent of any sort. I mean i like cradle, but i wouldnt call them the most talented band ever, and definatly not dani... Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
fuck u
i dont care what u pussies think of the black metal pics man. if u think u can do better than do it. some people just like to fuck around. if u think its stupid or whatsoever. stop listening to BM man. you can go listen to artist who take good pics! Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Awesome
I enjoy black metal strongly, but I disagree with some of the pictures being "ridiculous", thus not being able for me to truly give it a 5, so a 4 for you. Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
Diagnosis
MetalMAn+god Hey man why don`t you call your psychiatrist? You certainly need help! Do you hear voices? If you take this shit seriously you have a serious mental disorder and should take your pills not just once but twice a day ! My diagnosis is that all black metal clowns suffer from deeply-rooted inferiority complexes and a very acute form of depression The cure: Keep on wanking daily ! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
great, but!
this was awesome :D but just one thing! about Dani. you wrote that he´s from Helsinki,Sweden. hhmm... I live in Finland and the Helsinki is our capital city not swedens xD i don't know is Dani from Finlad or from sweden and I don't really care :D but I really don't want peple to think that Helsinki is in Sweden 'cos they're gay. thatks man! you're great with these TOP 10s! keep going! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Norsk Arsk Blak Metal Ist Krieg
Loved it, though the Other list is better. Immortal did look like total jackasses, but they werem and still are, a fucking great band. Old Man's child is the same, great music, stupid pictures. Hail the Sons of Northern Darkness!!! (though they do look like gits) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
Was good
The pics overall were prettyn funny, but the only thing that ruined it for me was the explanations. They got kind of repditive. Keep up the good work though. Also, i think CoF is a good band, but they arent gods. And the only real losers are the people who feel they need to argue over it. Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
funny
ME WEAR WHITEFACE.ME MAKE DEVIL HORNS.ME GROWL INTO MIKE AND SAY SATAN LIVES.ME HEAVY METAL.ME VERY SERIOUS AND SCARY.BLAAAAAAAAA Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Inbred cocksucker
For those who don't know,this cock sucker is from Hobart/Tasmania, the asshole of Australia. "Two headed Tasmanians",as they are refered to by the rest of Australia,are mostly inbred which means this fags mum and dad are also brother and sister. Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
vrd
Mike from Hobart is an asshole and he's also a jew.. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
missing
I would have left a 5 star review but you didn't include NorskocK in this list Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
Niiiiice!
This is the shit. I laughed my ass off the whole time. I would have switched the order a bit, but still loved it. The people bitching in the comments are closed-minded jackasses. Some of these bands are great, they just dress very gay. Cheers! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
everyday is like halloween!yay!
personally i like the whole dark make up it looks badass..just as long as they don't literally live like that.. ! lol. You know seeing them in concert all fixed up makes it more fun!!you get a nice theme too!and whether they look shitty or not..it's ok..just aslong as the music kicksass!! Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
laughs fromg ermany
phantastic. greetings from germany for that great work. we have laughed here a lot. thanks and go ahead. Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
UHHHHHHH
Shut the fuck up about Cradle Of Filth. They aren't sell outs and it's fucking lame that you make fun of them. They never once said they were Black Metal. And shut the fuck about Dimmu Borgir. If you're gonna make fun of them, at least come up with a creative name, not Demon Burger. Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
Great review!!
Heh, great stuff.. I love black metal music, but the dress sense is ridiculously funny.All you guys who're actually getting pissed off by this are idiots. Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Fuckin Hilarious
LMAO.... for being a big Black Metal fan and musician, I find this to be quite hilarious. To a lot of you out there, it's a stage prop and costume, just like halloween. We do not dress like this everyday. I myself live a normal life like everyone else. As for Cradle of Fags and Dani Faggot, well that guy is not black metal nor is his music. He is a mainstream asshole who needed to find some quick money. And for all of you CoF homos out there, you need to shut the fuck up and quit downing o Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
stupid people
it WAS really funny reading this shit.i laughed... but some of you are haters and dont know shit i mean, keep your fucking dumb bullshit to yourselves. laugh at the pics but dont offend the bands huh. Hatir... ITS CRADLE OF FILTH, NOT FAGS. and Dani isnt gay. ur just fuckn jealous as all hell cuz you cant take better pix. you dont know him, so dont be so blunt. fuck off you cant take a joke or what? "And for all of you CoF homos out there, you need to shut the fuck up and quit downing o" FUC Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
Heh
You don't know anything about black metal, it ain't so important to rate some fucking pics they took at the 90s. Get a life. Cradle isn't black metal, shut the fuck about them. Don't be so narrow-minded you fucker. Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Fuck
I've never laughed at BM before, what has this site done to me/proven of me? The fuckin' comments are what did it-who gives a fuck if Abbath has his fly down,WWF?FUCK THIS! BM is still the superiour form of music Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Get a life!!!
I've benn A metalhead for 20 years now, and Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
Black Metal
I'm a Christian, I don't listen to Black Metal. I have respect for the artists and I think they're beyond talented. I love the way Black Metal sounds, but I don't care for the lyrics. I'm sorry but if you listen to Cradle of Filth (Cradle of Shit haha!) and call yourself a die-hard Black Metal fan...you definately need to look at Black Metal's origins and style of playing. Whoever said that COF gives Black Metal a bad name was exactly right, about as right as saying that Metallica gives Meta Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Infernally hilarious
Th efirst picture is the best BM-pic ever =) But Cradle of Filth is from ENGLAND, and second of all HELSINKI is in FINLAND ! Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
get a life
hi Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
Pretty Funny...
kind of an easy target though. I used to listen to metal when I was a disaffected teenager (mostly because I had a fetish for girls who looked like Winona Ryder in "Beetlejuice"), now I'm more into the Ramones, and bands that don't take themselves too seriously. Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
Explosive bowel decompression
For the misinformed black metal masses... The whole Helsinki - Sweden thing seems to a direct bloody reference to Die Hard... Oh wait, hardcore black metallers don't watch movies. They are too grim and trve for those kinds of things. Oh and by the way, I like black metal and i think that Hobart's observations were quite on the mark... Good Job Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
UHUU, COOL PICS!
Ooh, they sure look so angry with their axes, and reeeeally mad faces. Fucking death metal dorks. Oh, and BLACKMETAL!!!, you dumb fucking retard, Do you consider it macho to have so tight leather pants so it looks like you have fucking glued them to your legs? Oh yeah, they are some rockstars! And what the fuck do you mean by "so they wouldnt look like the rest of this bland & pathetic world."? There are fucking millions of these metal-assholes that looks exactly the same! Don't go calling them Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Fucking jewish piece of shit!!!
DID I FUCKING TOLD YOU SOMETHING YOU FUCKING JEWISH PIECE OF SHIT!!!??? YOU CAN ONLY LICK ABBATH'S ASSHOLE YOU UGLY STINKY FEGET!!! SUCK MY AND THEIRS BLACK METAL COCK YOU FUCKING REATARD!!! SIEG HEIL MOTHERFUCKER!!!! Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
oh, how sweet
Is it another, grim&evil national-socialist( I am not exactly sure about spelling, my bad)? Hey sweetheart, if You want a blow-job, first You have sth. to suck. Is it a some kind of kinky fantasy? Great it is that sb. listen BM, but please, think first before writing. These( Those?, my bad again) pictures ARE ridiculous, so why don't laugh? IF Abbath, for example, is like a god in your's eyes, go and suck HIS dick(if he allow You to do so), don't force people to do it for You. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
How come?
How come nobody critizises those stupid hiphop/rap "artists"? With their stupid blingblings and doingdoings.. I mean those guys are ridiculous. And one more thing. Helsinki is the capitol of Finland. Stockholm is the capitol of Sweden. And COF comes from England. Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
great shit
I like black metal, but I will definitely with the picture review, they all look either gay or really fucking retarded. It's pretty hilarious. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
who ever wrote this has absolutly no life(/brain)
jst one question : were you listening to your last Paris Hilton album when you wrote this ? Or you were jst dancing the B.Spears dance ? Maybe next time before you do a retard review, you study some geography and history of bands. Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
\m/ (>_<) \m/ learnt it here..
I may like be the first Indian(asia) not da red types in photo #9, aah but this thing absolutely rocks. This is the fifth time i m seeing this n still makes me laugh. Man. Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
These guys are lossers
This is funny shit, I love to see althese Black Metal Posers, that they think they look coll..by looking really stupid. The only true Black Metalist is Varg Vikernes, and he never needed twenty inch nail arm bands. ALL HEIL VARG Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
GAY!!
I know i am writing back, but WTF!!! Why does this need feedback!?! THERE IS NO SENSE IN IT!!! ALL of you need to get god damn lives and stop finding this shit, mine was sent to me by the rest of the football team to mock the who lot of you. I read the feedback first to get a general idea of what i was dealing with, and you all suck. Look on the bright side though, if they didn't create gay photos for us to laugh our asses off, who would? Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Check your facts
First, Dani is not from "Helsinki, Sweden". The guy is british (ie. from England). Second, Helsinki has nothing to do with Sweden, being the Capital of Finland. Third, why everything looks so "gay" to the author - is there a reason for uncontrolled homophobia? Most gay-haters tend to repress their own homosexuality... Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Misunderstanding
I think black metal is like Eminem: a white guy that wants to be a black gangsta rapper. These guys are see-through white because most of the lot are from Scandinavia and just wanted to have a bit more tan. As ryth'm is not part of their white gene pool they had to create music that could last without ryth'm-hence the constantly mis-slapped blastbeats and monotuous singing. They're just hating god because they are not black and have no ryth'm hence: black metal! PS:Cradle of Filth rocks and Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
u r a dik
hey, i can see the dani fag pic being gay and the ridiculous dimmu borgir pic, thats the king of gay black metal pics but there is nothing wrong with the nemesis divina pics or the immortal pics (except for one which my girlfriend thinks they look like two little lizards), lol. but for real man, stop dissing the cool people man, go fuck yourself............. Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
LOL
This is great. I don't know any of these bands but a freind made me come to this site a look. It was freakin hilarious. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
haha oh boy
this is such a classic article... i mean, i love most of the bands on here, but when you see them strutting around in enormous spikes and all the crappy outfits...it's hard to take em seriously. anyways, the people who are freaking out and defending the bands need to chill. good stuff Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Immortal.
They live up to their name. Honestly THE most cult band of all times, hands down. And they haven't killed anyone...yet, I mean. Fuck every other BM band, they're all posers. Immortal is the only true Black Metal band in existence, ask my sister. I mean, just watch the "Call Of The Wintermoon" video. The most evil thing I have ever seen!!! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Performance Art
I don't know, I'm just sick of bands that go up on stage and don't have a show. It's kind of lame. I've been to many death metal shows and have been bored to tears, yet every time I see a black metal band (who where corpsepaint), the show is so much better. The corpsepaint is a visual aid to the music, and it gives the band a mystique. Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
Awesome!
This is the funniest thing I have ever seen. I was laughing so hard that I almost fell off my chair. How anyone can take this seriously, or be offended is beyond me, lol. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
haha
someone said "dani filth is god" or something. but isn't black metal about the opposite of god? doesn't that just make him not black metal? he looks like fabio gone goth in that picture. Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
HMMMMM?
I really don't know what's funnier. The review, or all the people getting pissed off. Clearly C.O.F AND Dani are the greatest things in the world. And I dont' know why anyone wouldn't be in love with them. And Black Metal? OMG it gives me a hard on! Norway kicks ass. Too bad the first Black Metal bands hated Americans about as much as the Taliban do. It's a joke, get over it. Oh yeah, and C.O.F may be the worst band I've ever heard. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Gay
Black Metal is so incredibly gay. What's tough or cool about grown men in make up and playing fantasy land. I should smack all their blue faces. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
GREAT
I laughed like mad for half an hour! XD The 'satan hockey team' made me fall of my chair! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
some good shit
I haven't laughed that much in the past 5 months I think... At "#5 - Dimmu Borgir" I thought it couldn't get more ridiculous. And then came Dani Filth. And then Abbath, and the Boogeyman metaphore... I was really afraid of pissing myself. Not the pictures are the source of catharsis, but your fucking hilarious comments on them. Dude, that was wondrous! Long live norsk aryan blak metal! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
missypissypants
Show me some mercy! I just pissed again! I thought GOTH was silly, but this BM is beyond silly - it actually makes me pee. These guys make even the Sisters look good! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Dumbass
Pic #3, It isn't Demonaz, it's Horgh, you should probably learn who the people are before you say shit. k? Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
the troth
all you faggots that talk shit about BM need to realize that it is the purest form of metal and that they proved that they live by their lyrics by burning down churches, murders, and countless acts of violence and desicration all you faggots that think it's funny need to know that they don't fuck around and you need to know your shit before try to talk shit Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Talk about losers
Who really gives a shit about what someone else wears or what they do. Kill Everyone!!! Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Rubbish
Wow, who are these guys? Sick anyway... Get a life loosers! Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
God damn it
I'm at work and have tears rolling down my face. Fantastic commentary...really. I haven't laughed this hard in a loooong time. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
you've got Immortal all wrong
Do you reckon a band that does sideways moonwalks takes itself seriously? Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
U SUCK
well, to all those who don't like Black Metal, go shove your bible up your ass, lick your local priests balls (i'm sure they'll love it) and those who think black metal is gay, get out of your closet...do you think your sounds are better??I think YOU are gay, and should get that cock out of your mouth before you speak fucking hypocrits...Black metal rules Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
hahahaha
Well in son! lol I'm a fan of black metal but the shitty make up and retarded leather outfits need to stop. Pretty sure leather doesnt mean evil unless you're a PETA member. But mainly the make up. They don't even look freaky, they just look like they're trying too hard. Its a shame the creativity they use on their music isn't also utilized on their persona as well. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Hilarious
I don't know what's wrong with most of you but Black Metal photos are some of the most hilarious and stupid attempts at being evil I have ever seen. I listen to Black Metal and I still think this. Also, shut the fuck up about Cradle of Filth. Who cares if you do or do not like them, Dani Filth is a fucking fool either way. He does nothing in that fucking band other than sing. He is not a musician or a God. They sold their fucking music style for mainstream success, they didn't "change a little b Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
CoF...
Who the hell can take a band that's in Metal Hammer, baking cookies, seriously? And btw, black metal is the best genre out there, I prefer underground-bands though, like Lifelover and shit. Even I thinks it gets to much corpse-paint nowadays <.< Well, I laughed my ass of at this review, keep it coming man:) Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
fuck you!!!
go fuck our selfs and die. black-metal bands will dress those leather pants and have those weapons and nails so what the fuck are you crying. if you are messing whit black-metal it will mess whit you so go home and burn your wrists!!! fuck you. big hails for black-metal Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
?
What are u BM haters listening then? I can sure, I wil dye to laugths when I look those bands/artists pictures ;D Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Stupid Motherfucking "Goth" Morons
oh my fucking god ! All the fucked up "goth" cocksuckers can go fucking die as long as i care ! Do u even know what does goth means u piece of shit ? Cradle of Filth are fucking gay. Same goes for all you girlies and trannies that here those crap.Go grab a HIM album and stick it upon your ass you god damn emo fucks! DIE DIE DIE !!! The critic was hilarious though! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
He he
Ha ha awsome pics man. There was only i thing that botherd me. "Cradle of Filth is from Helsinki, Sweden." Just a head's up Cradle Of filth is from Great Britain Helsinki is the Capital of Finland And Sweden as you might know (Not to sure you do so ill tell you anyway) is a country Well all around a nice Review cya and gl in geography class Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
FUCK YOU
BLACK METAL GUYS ARE HOTTER THAN YOU'LL EVER BE, FUCKING CUNT Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Jajajaja
jajajaj well that that is what they happen when they try to be bad children with black eyeliner that the Heavy Rules Metal! Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
oaidnaosn
lol @ black metal Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Haha, this is great.
This is so hilarious But in #3, that's Horgh, not Demonaz.... Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Fucked up hilarious
hahaha, you totally hit the spot on this one! I laugh every time i read it - unbelieveable that gorgoroth would post such a fucked pic. Goliath there is actually Infernus. And to those who thinks black metal sucks, and that death is the way to go, eat shit. Death metal is pop. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
venom is NOT black metal
first of all venom was NOT black metal you idiot. venom merely invented the term "black metal" on their album black metal.they are THRASH metal. anyway listen to some absurd, sunwheel, syny severa, burzum Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
I took this with a bitter sweetness
lmao although i enjoy black metal allot (it is the best kind of metal) i did find this extremely helarious, some of these pics even from bands I like are absolutly retarded. but one thing that pisses me off is the people who try and shluff off Cradle of Filth as being for posers or whatever. now they may not be pure black metal but who needs purity all the time, escpecialy when it can be replaced by orriginality, melody, and un-doubtably above average lyrics, Dani Filth is a black metal poet. Th Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
hemmo@hotmail.com
too bad when you said helsinki sweden, helsinki is in finland you moron. Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
So-So
first off cradle of filth isnt black metal. and looks like the person who posted this doesnt know a lot about black metal. so much error in one article. COF from sweeden haha its england. Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
Dam Guys Settle Down
These are some of the most hilarious pics ive ever seen, and cof are sellouts u listen to their old albums and tell me there hard or good now, dani is a media whore. and stop bagging goth u want some goth metal listen to tristania BM ftw! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
WHAT THE HELL!!!
wtf!!! of course those little pussys look ridiculous! (even gorgoroth wich are normally not). But fuck dudes... Most of the bands you showed are not even black metal... Dimmu, they are just fuck nu-metal posers... Cradle...FUCKING FAGS... Immortal well great music but hilarious pics... Satyricon well they're somehow great but really b.m?? IT really funny but not in bm anymore and all the others are fucking retards... sorry but your just being shallow here... Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
C'mon guys, idiots
I hate ell these fuckers who post "You dont respect the tr000 art of Black Metal", and "OMG IDIOT DIMMU BORGIR ROCK!!1111" PLEASE get a fucking sense of humor and see that this IS fucking hilarious. I love BM, and i really am into it. But guys.. ffs stop being så darn "frostbitten of hell and doom" and realize that this is DAMN FUNNY ever to the most frostbitten black metalist from the forest in Berge, Norway. MORE PICS!! Hail Black Metal Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Lawl
You are my fucking hero! I haven't laughed so hard in a while. I like most of these bands (except for Gorgoroth and Cradle) but they do indeed look ridiculous. Anyone who gets offended by this should get their head out of their ass and learn to take a fucking joke. I bet most of these musicians don't even take themselves seriously, so what are you fools getting so worked up over? Good job whoever made this. LAWL @ the Cradle fanboys/girls. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Dude
Is Helsinki in Sweden? Hell no! Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
disappointing
surely there must be stupider pictures than this of black metal bands come on really, shame shame. also for future reference #3 is Abbath(the Great) and the fat guy is fuckin' horgh and he's always been fat. also #1 is actually a pretty good photo(for BL)#10 is worst than 1 is.and all you Cradle of filth fans are all just a bunch of fuckin' gays ass scene kids as soon as the fadd changes so will your tastes so fuck off! And really hear...that's really fucked up saying that Dimmu Borgir is like f Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
What!?!?!?
You all suck , peacs of shit.if you dont know nothing about black metal just shut up mother fuckers.You R all some gays who dont have i life, you all suck Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
hehe
It was quite funny to read the text below the pics. Just clear some things out: 1. Cradle of Filth is from England. 2. Helsinki isn't in Sweden. It's the capital of Finland. Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
asdasdasd@wer.com
are you fucking serious that u fucking care about labels and identites that much. fucking quit wearing makeup u fags and go get some sun light. the true dark beings on this earth wear the colors of the norm so not to be seen. now go suck a cock and jerk off to you're marduk posters. faggs. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Okay...
Damn I hate your opinions! Looks like someone gots h*s ass kicked by a black metal dude ^^ Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Children, children...
Hey, if you don`t like BM you don`t have to listen to it. CoF is not BM. And yeah, many bands put more effort into looks than music. Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Funny as hell
Not laugh so hard in ages, you are a very fuuny person, anyone who rates this as rubbish needs to sort themselves out. Keep it up xx Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
R O F L
People i know that we are pissed if someone makes fun of our favorite bands . I adore BM as much (and even more) as you but i must say L o L this review rocks !!!!! oops this review metals :)))) Nice idea i was forced to change my underwear when i saw the wannabe NHL pro's Immortal (my favorite band btw :D) Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
SUCK IT!!
anyone who hates black metal suck my and all black metalers cocks U guys mock them just because they make more money then u that simple fuck off Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
XD
First things first. This was fucking hilarious. As much as I like black metal...Haha! And tbh. Some people can't take jokes. :( I like death metal, black metal, heavy metal and more. But I don't limit my music taste either. :O Made my day though. :') Thanks. ^^ Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
uehuehuehu
gotta love it, cof are a damn shame to whole bm scene, but i love these its so funny lol. please make more Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
ignorance
You dont know about this things my son . . . fuck you . . . Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Bloody funny
First of all... CoF do not belong here. They are not black metal, for fuck's sake! Second, they're not Swedish, they're British... And they suck... Bug time... I love black metal and most of the bands listed above, but these pictures are really ridiculous and too funny. Especially those of Immortal and Dimmu Borgir, bands that I happen to like a lot btw. So chill people. There's no reason to feel offended by this. Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
DMC
Fuck you. I'm mexican and i think no, in sweden didn'y indians but vikings yeah, and Lord Ahriman is fat but the oldest, and true vikings are fat!!! And not the weapon of Abath is not a batte is an axe idiot Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Lay down your souls to the gods rock and roll: BLACK METAL
Hey moth%rf=&%ers, leave black metal out of your stupidity and shallow points of view. The norweggian Black metal uses elements of their viking culture to disting themselves as nordic warriors. Those who laugh of this list is a ignorant and deserve to die by the hands of satan. Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
You've got your LABELS wrong.
Since when is CoF black metal? Was I in a fucking cave when that transition happened? And what the fuck is with 'CoF is from Helsinki, Sweden'? Get your facts straight next time you bash something. Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
df
the albums fenriz made were made in bad quality because it is anti-mainstream and black metal not because he didn't have any money. He can't curse god because he believes there is none. :P The immortal pic was funny, but immortal is a funny band, they want it to be funny. Satyricon put time into their music, it's art, and the picture was actually pretty cool if you ask me, the others were pathetic small BM bands that copy the old ones. Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
anti everything
stop bangin on about spellin miztakes, and enjoy the theatre,i mean look at the weird shit you get walkin down the fuckin high street, for example those dudes from the middle east, they dress head to toe in black, theyre fuckin grim reapers walkin, so dani you go for it, fuckin piss em all of, oi oi watch out for the green eyed monsters. Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
Fucking awesome
I'm just as big of a black metal fan as anyone else, and I have to say that this is just about the funniest thing ever. I'm glad that there are some people who don't take themselves or the music they listen to that seriously!! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
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Wanna leave feedback on this review? Click here!
For those that are completely ignorant about black metal (and some death metal), a lot of the bands that are in the scene are some of the most intelligent and cultured people that you'd never see pussying around in mainstream metal with the top quality sound recordings and dim fucking declarations. Who gives a shit what they look like? But Cradle of Filth can stay the fuck out of it. Rating: 3 out of 5 stars |
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Someone gave me this link and I have to say I have not laughed this hard in a ny minute. OMG whoever you are I think you fucking rock!!!! This was truly truly funny. Do these guys really take themselves seriously?
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars