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BLOODBATH

by Mike from Hobart

Nightmares Made Flesh

Century Media

Sayeth the Hobart

After hearing the single, “Eaten”, from Nightmares Made Flesh, I decided then and there that I didn’t need to hear any more of Bloodbath. “Eaten” is one of the lamest, most preposterous death metal songs ever, and in a genre of music dominated by campy themes of apocalyptic ruin, shredded torsos, and serial murder, it’s pretty god damn hard to write a song that might be considered the ‘lamest’ this late in the game. With Eaten, somehow, Bloodbath has achieved a previously unattainable state of silliness, where Tägtgren goes on about how he wants his body torn limb from limb and consumed. He growls, “My only wish is to be eaten.” That’s right, eaten. Seeing as how I’ve never been much of a Hypocrisy fan, I wouldn’t mind if Tägtgren ate his own ass at this point.

Nightmares Made Flesh was recently given to me and I’m excited to say that minus “Eaten”, it’s actually quite listenable. Hell, parts of it are pretty good, way more than anything on the painfully mediocre album with Åkerfeldt. Much of this is a result of a change in lineup that kicked Dan Swanö off the drums and over to bass where he belongs, not to mention an infinitely better production job to boot. This is just straight up old school style death metal, through and through. Early Entombed, Grave, and Dismember all come to mind so if you’re a fan of the Swedish variety, this isn’t something to pass up. My main problem with the album is Tägtgren. Sure, the guy can still hurl some commanding vocals (old Petey is pushing forty, people) but he never fucking shuts up. Is it really necessary to fill every moment of downtime with random screaming and nonsensical growling? I mean, while death metal has always been about nonsense, has it not always been about the musicianship as well? Granted, good death metal vocalists have always overridden dull and unremarkable riffs with wanton roaring, gurgling, or laughing, but Nightmares is nothing to drown out completely.

Apparently Tägtgren is gone now and the band is looking for a charismatic replacement to fill his giant, wooden clogs. I wish them the best of luck because I’d like to see a third effort with a different, not so over-the-top vocalist. Anyhow, I’m not done discussing “Eaten.” It’s not fair to say it sucks based solely on lyrical content because most metal lyrics are inherently absurd. It got me thinking of other death metal songs that share the same ludicrous earmark, be they shitty tracks or good ones. Consider “Tools of the Trade” by Carcass for example, a little jig where Bill and Jeff go back and forth naming surgical instruments. It rules not only because it’s a great song, but because it never took itself seriously. “Eaten” blows because it’s a colossal drag where Tägtgren distinctly and concisely speaks about being devoured with the sincerity of a two-dollar Tijuana whore. Was I actually sitting around listening to a near forty-year-old man talk about being chewed to death? I guess I was, but not for long thankfully. In fact, I’m convinced it’s songs like “Eaten” that kept me a reclusive, virgin shut-in throughout my teenage years.

I’ve often wondered how young men arrive at and revel in the abyss of black/death metal. Is it a response to the pressures and angst of being a teenager? Perhaps coupled with a turbulent domestic life and lack of female interaction? Obsessive masturbatory habits? I deal with plenty of kids and I certainly don’t see too many of the well-adjusted listening to Exhumed or 1349 on a regular basis. For me, black and death metal provided the ideal soundtrack to accompany my contempt for religion and humanity during my formative years. But by maintaining a strict aural diet of this music into my twenties, did I prolong my seclusion, hatred, and social ineptitude? Somehow, through all of it, I emerged relatively unscathed. I can only hope the kids these days can do the same whilst feverishly polishing their cocks to the pigshit that currently passes for black and death metal. While I’ve long since let go of the mane, the virginity, the anger, and a fraction of the hatred, it’s evident to me that many of the adaptively ill-equipped, lesser metalheads still slogging through the trenches won’t be able to cope. Consider the banal and unintelligible lackeys at over at ANUS.

BLOODBATH Review
Eaten!
by Mike from Hobart
Viewed: 9958 Times
Posted: 7.3.06

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USER FEEDBACK


Death metal
First of all, great article, hope to see more of them. Now about how teens get to death metal. Personally, I'd have to say that death metal was just the next progressive step in heavy music. I got in Marilyn Manons when I was about 14 then the Faggoths about a year later and worked my way out of that into Suffocation Deicide, and the like.
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
Aaron on 7/5/2006 @ 9:7:16
Yeah...
Haha, yeah, pretty interesting review, must say I had these hunches about Tagtren-metal and Tagtren-produced metal, the dulloid bombastic Gothenberg shit, but I must agree with the previous feedback comment in that extreme metal was for me something I got into much later. It all depends how you get into it I guess, if you find that it just so happens that most of the music you listen to is extreme or if you get into extreme music exclusively. The latter means that you probably are a trendy-oid m
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
Bert on 7/10/2006 @ 9:8:19
path to death
I get really bored by everything except death metal and classical.
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
neogeo on 7/10/2006 @ 11:9:07
How does Tagtren maintain such a trim figure?
Your observation about obsessive masturbatory habits struck home. I now clearly see that my uncontrolled libido corresponds directly to my need to hear scrawny old Pete's obnoxious gibberish screaming. Yes, it's true: I am sexually attracted to Pete Tagtren! It's actually a relief. Now I can get rid of all of these old Judas Priest albums and get on with my life.
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Painkiller on 7/25/2006 @ 4:47:21
FUCK THAT
Eaten is one of the most amazing black metal songs ever fucking created. When you write a song nearly as good, then you can come and talk shit about it. You Fucker.
Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
HeavyV on 8/6/2006 @ 9:2:53
reverbarations from the faggoth abyss
HeavyV says Eaten is one of the most amazing black metal songs ever fucking created. When you write a song nearly as good, then you can come and talk shit about it. You Fucker. wow this sounds vaguely familiar from another thing you wrote, at least this guy can spell, although...black metal?
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
gridge on 8/22/2006 @ 8:35:08
WTF?!?!
You don't have a clue what your talking about. Swano never played drums OR bass, he's a legendary guitarist. I have read some ridiculously stupid reviews in the past but this wins hands down. Where did you hear some of the crap that you wrote?
Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
lockley100 on 9/2/2006 @ 11:27:52
Lame ass review
Hey Mike from Hobart Swano did not play drum or bass on this album he plays fucking guitar.
Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Bill on 9/3/2006 @ 8:1:26
Congratulations
Although it seems you can take the piss out of stupid black metal photos, you can't write a review worth two shits. Swano plays bass on a grand total of four songs. He also does guitars on four songs as well. As for the rest of the songs, the string duties are split evenly by Anders and Jonas. It only takes a glance into the fucking booklet to realize that. Furthermore, Here's what we learned from this review: You don't like Peter Tagtgren The music is good You don't know where Dan
Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
Saint Jinn on 10/10/2006 @ 7:41:05
jesus christ...
you call this album shit? first of all, you get your facts wrong on Don Swano, and then you put down the song, Eaten? and all this, coming from an Opeth fanboy who thinks that Opeth is the greatest band in the world and a guy who calls Slayer's Christ Illusion a masterpiece? Your opinion and taste in music sucks.
Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
jp_teodosio on 10/15/2006 @ 10:53:44
0 out of 5 stars
Mike, I used to think you knew a thing or two about death metal until I read this review. Since when are the lyrics to death metal songs about the personal experiences of the singer? Not only is Eaten the HEAVIEST song I've ever heard, the lyrics are about real psychos. There was a guy in Germany who's sexual fantasy was to be eaten alive, so he found a cannibal and got his wish. True story, look it up.
Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
blackearth on 12/6/2006 @ 3:5:11
feedback
God, I feel like a douche leaving a comment because it puts me in the company of these ass clowns, but I'd like to state that Bloodbath should have just done the breeding death ep and left it at that. It was raw oldschool DM that felt authentic because they didn't put too much thought into it, which is probably the best circumstances to create this sort of music. the stuff that came afterwards sucks because they've tried to make it into a real band because century media sunk some money into it.
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
Heresy is Progress on 2/19/2007 @ 5:16:53
you suck
wow u don't know shit. eaten is fucking awesome. go die.
Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
JeffLoomis on 7/13/2008 @ 7:47:56
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