Reinkaos

(2006)

HOBAX!!!

The child in me is now dead. Reinkaos is officially the most disgraceful display of spiritless has-beenism I’ve ever had the misfortune of suffering through. I can’t even find words to explain just how profoundly mediocre this album is. Smothered in corny Luciferian mysticism, it confidently holds its own against some of the all time death/black metal letdowns of the last fifteen years. I mean, this shit is right up there with timeless flops like Atrocity’s Blut, Samael’s Eternal, Sepultura’s Chaos A.D., Satyricon’s Volcano, Gorefest’s Erase, Emperor’s Prometheus, etc., etc.... fucking embarrassing. It actually reminds me of Swedish cheese-thrash like In Flames or Dark Tranquility which, as we all know, hasn’t been cool for years, if ever.

Most of this album melds together to form a long, uninspiring tribute to pedestrianism. There are a few riffs reminiscent of days passed, but nothing that didn’t have me yawning harder than a narcoleptic on muscle-relaxants. Jon can still put down some great vocals and it pains me that he can because I hear potential; I hear the possibility of something that I know is dead and buried. Of course I wasn’t expecting Storm of the Light’s Bane 2.0, but I was looking for the next logical step, perhaps something even monumental. What I got with Reinkaos was a cosmic, black metal dick in the ass. Jon claims to have written incantations to the ‘dark Gods’ in an ‘anti-cosmic’ effort to release his ‘inner black flame,’ the hallmark of any dutiful MLO adherent. See, what irritates me about all this necromantic lunacy is that it’s no less revolting than the fucking Christians. If Jon thinks he’s made up of anything other than blood, guts, and water, he’s a fool.

I really shouldn’t be that surprised, though, as Maha Kali was thoroughly disappointing in every respect. Like many, I convinced myself that the song was tolerable, perhaps even decent, while I futilely clung to the hope that Dissection would rise again and restore glory to the crumbling and humiliated kingdom of black metal. After hearing Reinkaos, I now know it was only an illusion, much like the illusion that Jon must’ve experienced during his eight-year stint in prison, convincing himself that the time was well spent when in reality it was stupid, meaningless, and a complete fucking waste of talent -- not to mention the end of what was arguably the best black metal band going. Was it Jon’s fanaticism and obsession with Azeratian babble that brought Dissection to an untimely halt? Or was it the combined lack of dedication and laziness of the other band members? Either way, it would’ve been cool to see the new group play live if for nothing other than to hear them rock the classics. ,p>Unfortunately, this won’t be happening now that Jon has decided to shoot himself in the face. I knew the guy had fallen completely from his rocker, so news of his suicide came with about as much shock as catching an inadvertent glimpse of my brother’s ass crack when we’re brewing beer [Ed Note: Grim and Frostbitten Necro Beer]. The ironic part about Jon’s end is how it ties into his own clichéd words, “death before dishonor.” Since when is it honorable to toil away eight years in a cell on behalf of some Algerian homo? Jon died a victim of his own contradictions and I feel neither sorry for him, nor any two-bit teenaged black metal boob sniveling over his demise. There is, however, a tragedy to be found within all of this. According to Jon, once a person has reached his or her full potential in life and attained their zenith of personal accomplishment, there is no genuine reason to continue living. While this may or may not be true, if he considered the half-assed buffoonery of Reinkaos to be the pinnacle of his life achievement, well, that’s just bloody fucking Shakespearean right there. Both comic and tragic. I think I’ll go put on Storm of the Light’s Bane while I wait for the hailstorm of shitty tribute albums.