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FRIDAY THE 13TH, PART 2

by Matt Cale

13th 1

Scorecard:

Alice, lone survivor from Part 1, ice pick to the temple after finding a head in the fridge.

Ralph, “Prophet of Doom” from Part 1, strangled with barb wire, dies pinned to tree.

Unknown cop, resident asshole, hammer slammed into back of head after chasing Jason back to his lair.

Scott, resident hunk, throat sliced while hanging upside down in animal trap, bathed in blood.

Mark, sensitive cripple, machete slammed into well-coifed head, wheelchair plummets down flight of stairs in cruel Reagan-era mockery of non-existent ramps.

Jeff & Sandra, resident sex-crazed couple, pinned to bed with spear immediately following orgasms.

Vickie, cripple’s sweetheart, stabbed in chest and/or stomach, dies not having ridden the gimp.

Paul, head cheese at the camp, mysteriously killed off-screen after Jason bursts through window at the end.

13th 2

Make-out sessions/fuck-fests:

Only three this time out. Sure, there’s a lot of flirting and innuendo, but the reputation of these films as sex romps is highly exaggerated. That said, every single person who removes an article of clothing is murdered within thirty seconds. Curiously, the one known virgin, Ted, escapes with his life, though his whereabouts are unknown. I think they left him at the bar in town.

Biblical overtones:

Given that Jason is alive and well, the resurrection motif holds firm. Only his ministry is to butcher American youth for becoming soulless sex fiends without moral guidance. And when Jason’s mask is removed after he is presumed dead, Paul whispers, “Jesus…” Once again, when the killing is about to begin in full force, the rains come, complete with thunder, lightning, and the limitless wrath of God.

Memorable lines:

The resident nerd, Ted, tells the following joke: “What’s brown and sits on a piano? Beethoven’s last movement.” It does not get him laid.

13th 3

Signs of the Times:

In addition to the shortest shorts on record, there are half-shirts galore and, in a novel twist, not a single boob job to be found.

What surprised you?

Six full minutes of flashbacks to start the thing? Christ, the first film was only a year prior; this wasn’t the gap between Scenes from a Marriage and Saraband, for fuck’s sake. And who knew that insanely strong undead Christ figures could also be felled with a kick to the groin?

Examples of superhuman strength:

Jason has nothing on his hard-ass mother, but the man can slam a spear through two bodies and a mattress without breaking a sweat. Jason also easily shakes off flying leaps through windows, fists punched into walls and doors, repeated blows to the head and torso, and, well, fucking drowning twenty-five years before.

Coolest moment:

After plunging a sharp object deep into Alice’s brain, Jason is courteous enough to remove a whistling kettle from the stove. And kudos to the editor for his laser-like precision in making the exact moment of Mark’s death the same split-second Jeff blew his wad inside Sandra.

Bits & Pieces:

Jason's potato sack headgear is a clear nod to 1980's The Elephant Man.

FRIDAY THE 13TH, PART 2 Review
by Matt Cale
Viewed: 4597 Times
Posted: 1.9.07

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USER FEEDBACK


This is...
One of the better ones in the series, I think. Of course, it's all relative. I recently re-watched all of them (why?) and thought pts. 2-4 came the closest to actually being decent movies. Oh, and get ready for more insanely long flashbacks at the beginning of pts 3, 4, 5 and I believe 6.
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Ryan on 1/9/2007 @ 4:25:35
tits should be feared
look at what they did to our beloved conservative congress:P those vile funbags have delivered unto our religious and social leaders temptation for which none can escape...oh wait...they all fucked boys...uuuum...eerrr......KHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCK!!!!
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
ex-dcfn on 1/9/2007 @ 4:30:06
The lone survivors
How can the first person mentioned in this review be the lone survivor.... and then the second person be a suvivor too? Great review other than that.
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
CMJ on 1/10/2007 @ 4:59:55
Explanation...
She's the lone survivor from the camp...Ralph is just some town nut.
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
Matt Cale on 1/10/2007 @ 11:48:20
Death = fun
Did anyone notice that both the cop who gets the hammer in the head and the couple banging when Jason kills them both seem to have orgasms at their moments of demise? Or is that just me. Great review
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
RobH on 1/13/2007 @ 8:42:22
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