Jimmy Kimmel is one of the funniest people in the world. During the earlier years of Win Ben Stein's Money his barbs mercilessly humiliated contestants and made the show, although I suspect that, unfortunately, the producers asked him to be "nicer" at some point. So, it's a disappointment that "Jimmy Kimmel Live" isn't much better than it is, or even that good at all. Kimmel is still funny and quick, but when you're scrounging for guests against Leno and Letterman, you can't really tell the guy on the couch that he has a small dick. And if he can't do that, Jimmy isn't as funny as he can be.

The problems run deeper than requirements of civility though. I think there may be a problem with the writing. Tonight, Jimmy had a bit about new logos for the homeland security department. Not funny at all. The audience barely laughed, my lip never even moved. The logo that got the biggest laugh was a little guy saying, "Bring it, Bitch!" That's the sort of thing printed on T-shirts sold at gun shows. Why not just hold up a sign that says "Fuq Iraq?" The problem may be that Jimmy is trying to play too much to his "Man Show" image. He's afraid to make "liberal" criticisms of an easy target like the Constitution-shredding , homeland security department, so he winds up with bullshit.

Now, I have a two part process to make this show great. The first part stems from a horrible mistake made by the producers and/or Jimmy. They had Sarah Silverman as Jimmy's sidekick for the week. What? Sarah Silverman is funnier than a Special Olympics chess match and a perfect compliment to Kimmel. She's quick, has and un-P.C. sense of humor and is a reasonably cute JAP to Jimmy's sloppy, white goy. What a stroke of genius to bring her on, what an act of idiocy to let her go. As if to prove my point, her bit was the only truly funny thing on her last night as sidekick. She went into the streets of Los Angeles and handed out throw pillows, thermoses and candles to black people, telling them the gifts were to make up for slavery and 400 years of racist oppression. "Sorry about slavery, here's a colander." Holy shit that's funny. So part one of my plan to save the show, Sarah Silverman is the fulltime sidekick.

Part two of my plan. Hire me and Jonny as writers for the show. Seriously, this site is popular enough now that someone from the show very well could read this. I'm way funnier than the crew who put together that homeland security bit, and Jonny is nearly as funny as I am. Here's proof. Want a funny homeland security logo? Try this on.

Well ladies and gents, these are some of our ideas for the new homeland security logo.

1. A swastika! You know, for good luck.

How many writers worked on the bit all week? It isn't even arguable. It is an objective fact that this single joke is funnier than the whole bit combined. If you began and ended with "a swastika," he bit would have been utterly superior to what it was. Fucking hire me. If you still need convincing read this .

Ruthless Rating

• Number of Episodes seen: 1 and parts of about 3 others.
• Factor by which "The Simpsons" is superior: 1,200

FUN FACT! - Apparently, Jimmy Kimmel is one of the richest comedians in the biz because he's licensed versions of "The Man Show" throughout the world.