By the writers of The Daily Show and Jon "Liebowitz" Stweart

Matt Cale loves reading...

At long last, the good folks at Time Warner Book Group have seen fit to send me a book that I had no desire to immediately convert to kindling (I mean really: a business tome called The Feiner Points of Leadership? Are you not aware that I work for Burger King, you twits?) In fact, I was mere days from spending my own money on America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction, which says quite a bit, as I am one cheap motherfucker. But as Jon Stewart's book is hardly something that is read cover to cover and then put away, I was willing to break out the wallet just this once. Inevitably, Stewart's book will invite comparisons to The Onion, which in this case is warranted (and a good thing), because like that long-running satirical rag, it is an equal opportunity offender, while remaining surprisingly smart and savvy about American politics. This is not a book, therefore, for the average Joe, unless of course your typical numbskull in Idaho instinctively "gets" the inherent humor of the Chester Arthur administration. America (The Book) assumes that you have a rather sophisticated understanding of American history, a point proven by the survey that showed Daily Show viewers were far more intelligent than the slackjawed set who barked along with Bill O'Reilly's program. And while much of America will be tempted to waste $25 on Bill's latest screed (this time a book for the kids, in which he reveals when he lost his virginity, a fact that is bound to inspire a thunderclap of book-slamming across the country), it is best to secure a copy of Stewart's beautifully packaged hardcover. Even O'Reilly fans can justify a purchase, as the book's format allows for, and even encourages, flipping around and skimming, which means that for once, you won't have to be embarrassed that you are unable to complete a book in the order it's written.

Organized like a textbook (the inside front cover even has the "This Book is the Property Of" box so familiar to those of us who actually did homework), America (The Book) is broken down into nine chapters, complete with charts, graphs, assignments, study questions, timelines, tidbits, quizzes, cartoons, and numerous photos. It runs from democracy's origins in Ancient Greece to the future of that fragile institution, and is so classy and straight-faced in its approach that many people might mistake it for the real deal, which (I suppose) is Stewart's big joke. As he mocks nearly everything about our past and present, he gets it right more often than not, which is another way of saying that despite the obvious fiction, few books have been as true in spirit. Where else, for example, could we be treated to a secret memo from a Supreme Court clerk that says the following:

"All I know is, everybody was fucking. Everybody. It was nine heads and 36 tangled limbs intertwined in a writhing, whirling dervish of group sex. Some guy -- a clerk I can only assume -- was twanging a sitar off to the side. Once in a while Scalia would break off from the orgy to cut hunks off a giant brick of hash with a Bowie knife. Then he remounted Ginsburg."

And this before Scalia's real-life public comments about the benefits of orgies! Stewart and company are not only smart, they're prophetic.

The book also blasts the media, third parties, the two-party system, voting, and campaigns. And then there's the all-too-believable chapter "The Rest of the World: International House of Horrors." Not everything works of course, but there's something to be said for exploiting cultural stereotypes, making us laugh, and then mocking us for laughing at such obvious cultural stereotypes. Yes, we nod, the national pastimes of Latin America are "futbol and irrational emotion." Or so it would seem. And it seems fair to say of Africa:

"So, is there hope for a truly democratic Africa? Long answer: Only if continent-wide improvements in education, human rights and public health are coupled with an aggressive and far-sighted debt-relief program that breaks the cycle of subsistence farming and urban squalor. Short answer: No."

And it was about time that we see all nine Supreme Court Justices naked, as it confirms what I've always believed about Clarence Thomas (and John Paul Stevens, for that matter). At any rate, Rehnquist's pose had me cracking up long after I shut the book. And maybe it takes a "Senate Color by Numbers" to show how obscenely white that body truly is. And maybe it's just me, but I like a mainstream book that has someone (Stephen Colbert) deadpan, "Warren G. Harding was a worthless piece of shit. Fuck him. His presidency was a taint, not just in the sense of a 'stain on the office,' but literally a taint -- the anatomical area between the anus and the testicles." And who knew that Grover Cleveland was "Our Gayest President," or that Bill Clinton "Our Most Kennedyesque," beating out even Kennedy himself?

Without question, fans of The Daily Show will love every page of this book, but as I am only a casual viewer (sorry, I should watch it more often), I can attest to its general appeal. If you're a fan of high-brow (but just as frequently juvenile) humor, mixed with dry wit, sarcasm, and the patently absurd, it's a great thing to pick up now and again, from a relaxing day on the couch, to an equally relaxing hour on the toilet. It plays no favorites, thankfully, but you'll pardon me if I find its attacks on Republican saints more refreshing. When we're being honest, we all knew the following about Ronald Reagan:

"(He) knew that unnecessary federal regulation was preventing the media from reaching its full potential. He also wanted to build lasers to shoot missiles out of the sky from outer space."

Dry, reasonable, and academic. And deadly accurate to boot. We laugh, so we do not cry.