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Directed by Rob Pritts
Written by David Garret and Jason Ward
Starring Chris Katan as Corky Romano
-Vinessa Shaw as Agent Kate Russo
-Peter Falk as Pops
-Peter Berg as Paulie and
-Chris Penn as Peter
An estranged son infiltrates the FBI on behalf of his mobster dad.
Erich think-ed the foloowing...
Corky Romano is a comedy. The only reason I know that is because I saw it advertised as such. I only laughed once during the film - at the end when Peter Falk said something funny. Oh wait, that isn't true. I also laughed at the beginning when I saw Corky's bumpersticker. The eighty minutes in between stretched for so long that I was thinking I had seen that bumper sticker in the fourth grade.
Adam Sandler made some horrible comedies that, instead of offering jokes, just presented things that whoever wrote them thought were funny; for example, eighties music, or gay people. People are fucking morons, so movies like The Wedding Singer made money. Rob Schneider made crappy, profitable versions of those Adam Sandler movies. Corky Romano is a crappy version of a Rob Schneider movie that's a crappy version of a crappy Adam Sandler Movie. If this chain is extended by one more link, the celluloid will literally be transformed into fecal matter.
Anyway, Corky listens to eighties music. His brother is macho, but secretly and obviously gay. An underground casino has a midget bouncer. In case you can't tell, these are jokes, or whatever you call the supposedly funny material in these films. Maybe I've read too much bell hooks, or maybe it was because I had just read Jonny's similar complaint about Spider-Man but I couldn't help noticing that there was only one black person in the whole movie and that they made him the boss, which is supposed to mitigate the fact that everyone else in the film is white, even the criminals. They're white cuz they're Nazis, and they're Nazis so we can root for the mafia when the mafia fights them - not as an excuse to squeeze more white actors into the film. Although it does gives them an excuse to leave latin and (all but one) black actors out of the film altogether, rather than having them play only the roles of criminals.
It's all just kind of silly, so I won't even talk about it anymore. There was an Asian guy, though. I think he was gay.
The best thing about this film is that the love interest is way sexy and spends much of the film undercover dressed in a nurses uniform that looks like it was purchased at an adult bookstore.
DVD Extras
This disc comes with a useful feature, whereby it can be placed as a barrier between a beverage container and a wooden table, preventing the condensation from the beverage from making "rings" on the surface of the table.
Ruthless Ratings:
- Film Overall: 2
- Direction: 3
- Story: 1.5
- Acting: 3
- Rewatchabilty: Nobody's ever tried.
Special Ruthless Ratings:
- Number of times you wished you were watching a Carrot Top movie: 78
- Number of times you paused the movie to do something else: 0 (I took the "rip the Band-Aid off in one motion" approach. But this Band-Aid was like a mile long.)
- Number of times you actually said "boo!": 8
- Number of times your mind wandered, and you thought, "It's tough being a Lakers fan. I can't believe they lost another game these playoffs. What's next, a game six?: 2
