365 Days is currently the #1 movie streamed on Netflix. The movie poster that you see is the one that got me banned from Facebook. Yeah. Go figure. Anyway, the movie itself is exponentially more provocative than the poster and is just downright out and out porn. I don’t have anything against porn. I often watch it when I am suffering from insomnia. I can also state with confidence that I have watched amateur porn with better writing and acting than was delivered by this movie.
Here’s the plot. An Italian mafia goon/stud named Massimo is standing on a rooftop with his mafia papa when an assassin’s bullet kills his father and strikes him as well. He thinks he is dying and becomes obsessed with this vision of a hot girl on the beach, named Laura, one of the last things he saw before being shot and losing consciousness. He decides to kidnap the woman and give her 365 days to fall in love with him. I mean, what a guy!
Now, of course Laura is outraged at being kidnapped and demands to be set free, or at the very least, she wants her iPhone and laptop. Now Massimo, being an honorable goon, has promised Laura that he will do nothing to force her to love him. She will not be taken by force and must fall in love with him of her own free will. Laura has other ideas and sets out to troll and torture Massimo by being the biggest dick-tease slut on the planet, especially out in public.
Massimo is purple with rage over this behavior, but what can he do? He is a man of honor, Sicilian-style, so he has to endure. To hell with spoilers, I really don’t care if I spill the obvious can of beans with this one. Well, OF COURSE she ends up falling in love with this guy, I mean just look at him!
I’m not going to even bother with any more of the supposed plot in this one. It is one long porno with pathetic acting, sporadic dubbing and a soundtrack that will indeed make you reach for your hunting knife. To say that this movie was an insult to every woman on the planet is a vast understatement. Nothing short of repealing the 19th amendment could be more damaging and insulting than this so-called film.
This Netflix feature was just sheer garbage and I do not write that because it is nothing more than a porno. 365 Days is not just a toxic insult to women, but an insult to everyone who watched this trash. The only thing that was even marginally pleasing about this movie is that the cinematography was decent, but that was easily washed away by every other aspect of this unwatchable loss of 2 hours of your life.
0.0/10.0 with the Goatesians rating of Avoid, Avoid, Avoid.