Crimes Of The Future

Film Title

Crimes Of The Future

Synopsis

In the future, humans are trying to adapt to an ever-changing environment

Director

David Cronenberg

Cast

Viggo Mortensen
Lea Seydoux
Kristen Stewart
Don McKellar
Dierdre Brown

1 hour 45 minutes, Rated R for autopsies, surgeries, weird groping of internal organs Fair Value of Crimes of the Future: $8.00. It sounds strange to call this the most essential and the most inessential of David Cronenberg’s films, but here goes it is the best Cronenburg primer, the best introduction to ‘here are the […]

3:10 To Yuma

Film Title

3:10 To Yuma

Synopsis

Ben Wade and Dan Evans have a train to catch. 

Director

James Mangold

Cast

Christian Bale
Russell Crowe
Ben Foster
Logan Lerman
Peter Fonda
Dallas Roberts

2 Hours 2 minutes, R for maiming stabbing and shooting Fair Value of 3:10 to Yuma: $14.00 : For the most part (Kate and Leopold the glaring exception), I’ve enjoyed almost everything that director James Mangold has made. This is a grim, desperate, suspenseful and deeply rewatchable western. TL,DR: Desperate rancher Dan Evans (Christian Bale) […]

Nightmare Alley-Devon’s Slant

Film Title

Nightmare Alley

Synopsis

An analysis and comparison to the 1947 classic

Director

Guillermo del Toro

Cast

Bradley Cooper
Kate Blanchett
Willem Dafoe
Toni Collette
Ron Perlman
Richard Jenkins
David Strathairn

2 Hours 30 Minutes, R for Face-Smashing and Eating Live Poultry Fair Value of Nightmare Alley: $18.00. This remake stands tall and proud as the equal of the original 1947 noir classic, yet is still distinct and memorable in wholly different ways. What in this world is so depraved and terrible as the Geek? That […]

Last Night in Soho

Film Title

Last Night In Soho

Synopsis

An aspiring fashion designer finds out that she should be careful what she wishes for. 

Director

Edgar Wright

Cast

Anya Taylor-Joy
Thomasin McKenzie
Matt Smith
Diana Rigg

1 Hr 56 minutes, R for abundant stabbings and slashings. Fair Value of Last Night in Soho: $15.00. While not a game changer for the ghost mystery genre, it’s a ripping good film with an abundance of Edgar Wright’s signature style. TL, DR: Fashion design student finds a cheap flat (due to being haunted) and […]

Dune (2021)

Film Title

Dune

Synopsis

Dune done right. This is the most coherent and comprehensive adaptation of the Frank Herbert epic

Director

Denis Villeneuve

Cast

Timothee Chalamet
Rebecca Ferguson
Zendaya
Josh Brolin
Javier Bardem
Dave Bautista
David Dastmalchian
Oscar Isaac

 Dune (2021 Denis Villeneuve Version) 2 hours 35 minutes, PG-13 for stabbings, maiming and a nude Oscar Isaac Fair Value of Dune: $20. This is a space opera done right. Not Villeneuve’s greatest film (that’s either Sicario or Blade Runner 2049), but this is the most coherent and comprehensible adaptation of the Frank Herbert epic. […]

Werewolves Within (2021)

Film Title

Werewolves Within

Synopsis

Werewolf creature terrorizes a town during a blinding snowstorm

Director

Josh Ruben

Cast

Sam Richardson
Milana Vayntrub
George Basil
Sarah Burns
Michael Churnus
Catherine Curtin

1 Hr 37 minutes, R for hands getting chewed off. Fair Value of Werewolves Within: -$4.00. “I feel like I’m trapped in a bad dinner theater murder mystery, and they’re not letting me leave.”- this quote, uttered by one of the characters, completely embodies the experience of this film. From the Uwe Boll School of […]

Phenomena (1985)

Film Title

Phenomena

Synopsis

A young girl has the ability to communicate with bugs

Director

Dario Argento

Cast

Jennifer Connelly
Donald Pleasence
Daria Nicholodi
Fiori Argento

1 Hr 56 minutes, rated R for Giallo levels of gore WARNING: This film isn’t quite as hard core as a Fulci film, but it does definitely go there, both in terms of gore, ugly mutilation, and decomposition. If you can’t stand maggots you may very well want to skip that particular Argento film. Fair […]

The Godfather: Part III

Film Title

The Godfather: Part III

Synopsis

Michael Corleone seeks to find a successor to his throne



Cast

Al Pacino
Dianne Keaton
Talia Shire
Andy Garcia
Eli Wallach
Joe Mantegna
George Hamilton
Sophia Coppola

2hrs 42 minutes (but it feels like eternity), R for wholly implausible violence Fair Value of The Godfather Part Three: -$15.00. Ordinarily, in my work day, my profession earns me about $30/ hour. This film wasted three hours of my life. I want my Saturday back. I want my life back. I want to be […]

The Godfather: Part 2

Film Title

The Godfather: Part 2

Synopsis

Arguably better than the first, making it the greatest movie ever made. 

Director

Francis Ford Coppola

Cast

Al Pacino
Robert Duvall
Diane Keaton
Robert DiNero
John Cazale
Talia Shire
Lee Strasberg
Michael V. Gazzo
G.D. Spradlin
Bruno Kirby

3 hours 22 minutes, R for numerous murders Fair Value of The Godfather Part II : $18.00. It’s overlong and the pacing can drag, but it’s an immaculately acted film with several stunning set pieces. Focus on the Family: The first Godfather was a study in the parallels between Vito Corleone (Marlon Brando) and his […]

The Godfather (1972)

Film Title

The Godfather

Synopsis

An offer you simply cannot refuse

Director

Francis Ford Coppola

Cast

Marlon Brando
Al Pacino
James Caan
Robert Duvall
Sterling Hayden
Al Lettieri
Diane Keaton
Abe Vigoda
Richard S. Castellano
Talia Shire
John Cazale

2 Hours 57 minutes, rated R for Gangland Violence Fair Value of The Godfather: $30.00. It is essential American Cinema. Fundamental to an entire genre of movie. But How Good Is it? The first time I saw the Godfather was on a date when I was sixteen years old with my first girlfriend, whom I […]