Pacific Rim Movie Review

Do you like robots fighting giant dinosaurs? That is the only question you need to ask in regards to Guillermo Del Toro’s Pacific RIm.

Cat People (1942 Val Lewton) Review

Cat People was one of the biggest hits of 1942. It competed favorably with Casablanca in the box office. The reason in part is because Cat People is the anti-vamp film. A more realistic title for the film might be Fear of a War Bride.

Film Review: Kickass 2

More violence, less fun. This film comes off like a script written by a third grader that believes that saying the word motherfucker 100 times will magically transform you into Quentin Tarantino.

Planes Review

Film Title

Planes

Synopsis

All you need to win is to want it badly enough. Being willing to be reconstructed as an unholy Frankenstein by dubious Mexican chopshops also helps.

Director

Klay Hall

Cast

Dane Cook
John Cleese
Stacy Keach
Teri Hatcher
Brad Garrett
Priyanka Chopra
Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Cedric the Entertainer
Val Kilmer
Carlos Alazraqui

    Rated G, 92 wasted minutes of your life Fair Value Rating of Planes: -$4.50. If I have to sit through a full length recruitment ad for the US Navy, the least they can provide is either a dogfight or a homoerotic volleyball scene. This film had neither. I understand the purpose of Disney’s […]

The Conjuring

A greatest hits medley of ghost movie tropes, this may be the finest episode of R. L. Stine’s Goosebumps ever made.

Film Review: The Wolverine (2013)

Film Review: The Wolverine (2013)   126 Minutes, PG-13 for atomic devastation, seppukku, miscellaneous Japanese persons getting disemboweled. Fair Value Rating of The Wolverine: $11.50. Wolverine’s the best at what he does- and what he does is stabbing a lot of people.   Director James Mangold’s first superhero flick manages an entertaining midsummer adventure with […]

Red 2 Movie Review – Welcome to the Age of Geriatric Action

Film Title

Red 2

Synopsis

Retired CIA agents are accused of being nuclear terrorists. To avoid being killed, they must seek out a rogue nuke that was hidden in Moscow during the cold war.

Director

Dean Parisot

Cast

Bruce Willis
Mary-Louise Parker
John Malkovich
Helen Mirren
Sir Anthony Hopkins
Catherine Zeta-Jones
Byung-hun Lee
Brian Cox
Neal McDonough

If The Expendables was the final roar of a withered Tyrannosaurus Rex, Red 2 is more like a soft heave of breath as the dinosaur lays dying. Welcome to the decade of 100 male versions of Norma Desmond, all shot in bullet time. Welcome to the decade of geri-action.

Cat People (1982 Schrader version)- Film Review

Synopsis

Orphaned Irena Gallier (Nastassia Kinski) is overjoyed to be re-united with her brother Paul (Malcolm McDowell) in New Orleans. She soon finds a job working at the zoo, and a love interest in the kind zoo-keeper Oliver Yates (John Heard). Unfortunately, her family history throws more than the usual complications into doing the horizontal tango…

Director

Paul Schrader

Cast

Nastassia Kinski
Malcolm McDowell
John Heard
Annette O'Toole
Ruby Dee
Ed Begley

Cat People (1982Schrader version) rated R for maiming, mauling, and oh so much nudity

Despicable Me 2: Film Review

Synopsis

Jumping a shark tied to high-explosive rockets into an active volcano….

Director

Pierre Coffin, Chris Renaud

Cast

Steve Carell, Gru
Miranda Cosgrove, Margo
Kristen Wiig, Lucy Wilde
Homer Simpson, Poochie

The Twinkie minions are given center stage, and their combination of gibberish speech and bumbling infighting makes the film fun.

Film Review- The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus

Synopsis

Synopsis: There’s a shape-changing conman, who alternates between the forms of the Joker, Captain Jack Sparrow, Gigolo Joe, and Alexander the Great. The shapeshifting con-man is rescued by the theatrical troupe of Dumbledore, Spider-Man, and Mini-Me. In gratitude, the con-man attempts to help them win a bet made with Tom Waits, who is the Devil, in order to save the soul of hot redheaded Lily Cole.

Director

Terry Gilliam

Cast

Heath Ledger as Tony Shepherd
Johnny Depp as Tony Shepherd
Jude Law as Tony Shepherd
Colin Ferrell as Tony Shepherd
Christopher Plummer as Dr. Parnassus
Tom Waits as Old Nick
Lily Cole as Valentina
Andrew Garfield as Anton
Verne Troyer as Percy

Film Review- The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus 123 Minutes, PG-13 for adult themes The pleasures and perils of imagination… Is it Truly as Awesome as Your Synopsis Suggests? Not quite. But it’s still a wonderful and weird delirium of a movie. I’m glad that this is not Terry Gilliam’s last film, though it could have […]