Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!

Film Title

Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!

Synopsis

Giant sharks again fill this air. This time from Washington D.C. to Orlando Florida

Director

Anthony C. Ferrante

Cast

Ian Ziering
Tara Reid
Mark Cuban
Bo Derek
David Hasselhoff
Ann Coulter

Reviewing any Sharknado movie is an exercise in utter chaos, so for this deep dive (I am truly sorry for the pun) into Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!, I will basically just be transcribing my frenzied, disbelieving notes, but cleaned up and tweaked into coherent sentences and paragraphs. Or so I hope. I’ve seen three […]

Nosferatu (1922)

Film Title

Nosferatu

Synopsis

The first real vampire movie ever made is still terrifying

Director

F.W. Murnau

Cast

Max Schreck
Alexander Granach
Gustav von Wagenheim
Greta Schroder
George H. Schnell

It has now been a century since the release of the first real vampire movie, F.W. Murnau’s somewhat loose adaptation of Bram Stoker’s 1897 novel Dracula. In Nosferatu: A Symphony of Horror, the names of characters were changed, along with many plot details, and still there was a lawsuit brought by Stoker’s heirs, and a […]

Ezra’s 2022 Oscar Predictions

No, I am not trying to guarantee this will help you win your Oscar party betting pool or whatever. This is just one film cricket’s best guesses, with a little hedging of the bets in the form of a second place guess in some categories, and highly tainted by emotion in others (such as any […]

Movie Geeks Manifesto

“My love of cinema supersedes all moral considerations.” –Alfred Hitchcock  There are many different opinions on this, all of which would undoubtedly be geeky to discuss at length, but in my opinion, a geek is someone deeply obsessed with a particular field of knowledge.  As opposed to, say, a nerd, who excels at all things […]

Sharknado: A Survivor’s Tale

Youse guys seen these fuckin Sharknado movies?  [Editor’s Note: Yes, and I reviewed two of them. Pay attention] It’s kinda important that you have…  Well, take it from me, a guy who’s survived two sharknadoes…[Editor’s Note: I’ve watched 3, plus Piranha Sharks, so there!] I don’t know if that’s spelled with an “e” or not. […]

Confessions Of A Condiment King -or- Why Goat Revoked Ezra’s Key To The Break Room At Ruthless Towers

Greetings, citizens of Gotham! It is I, Buddy Standler, the Condiment King! You mayo may not have heard my fearsome moniker before…. Oh, come now, you mustard of me at least once or twice. Well, please endeavor to ketchup and follow along, for mine is a tale to relish!  I may not be one of […]

Ezra’s Top 10 Favorite Movies of 2021

THE TRAGEDY OF MACBETH – To be honest, the trailer alone became my favorite movie of the year as soon as I saw it, and the actual feature certainly doesn’t disappoint. In fact, my appreciation for it only grew on the second viewing. Joel Coen’s first “solo” movie (without his brother Ethan) is a stunning […]

The Dead Pool (1988)

Film Title

The Dead Pool

Synopsis

Dirty Harry just learned a new game

Director

Buddy Van Horn

Cast

Clint Eastwood
Liam Neeson
Patricia Clarksib
Evan C. Kim
Jim Carrey
David Hunt
Michael Currie

Tagline:  Dirty Harry Just Learned A New Game  Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence:  Movies don’t kill people, Dirty Harry does.  Homoeroticism:  Early on, we see a young Jim Carrey (as rock star Johnny Squares) prancing around in a leather outfit to the tune of “Welcome to the Jungle,” but that’s […]

Sudden Impact (1983)

Film Title

Sudden Impact

Synopsis

Two killers are at large. One of them is Dirty Harry.

Director

Clint Eastwood

Cast

Clint Eastwood
Sondra Locke
Pat Hingle
Bradford Dillman
Paul Drake
Jack Thibeau
Albert Popwell

Tagline:  Two killers are at large. One of them is Dirty Harry.  Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence:  Revenge is best served with a comically farting dog.  Homoeroticism:  All in all, this is probably the most disappointingly hetero movie in the whole series, as Harry gets closer to a woman than […]

The Enforcer (1976)

Film Title

The Enforcer

Synopsis

The “dirtiest” Harry of them all!

Director

James Fargo

Cast

Clint Eastwood
Tyne Daly
DeVerne Bookwalter
Harry Guardino
Bradford Dillman
John Mitchum
John Crawford
Albert Popwell

Tagline:  The “dirtiest” Harry of them all!  Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence:  Harry endures militants, radicals and, worst of all, women.  Homoeroticism:  The lead baddie, Bobby Maxwell (DeVeren Bookwalter) shares Harry’s love of the kill, a look of erotic rapture overtaking his face as he shoves his huge knife into […]