Make it no. A few weeks ago, we introduced our son to Star Trek by way of a pinball machine. The machine included audio dialogue clips from Star Trek (2009) and Star Trek: Into Darkness and he was instantly curious to watch them. As of today, he has seen all of the so-called Kelvin trilogy […]
Film TitlePicard (Season 1)
DirectorCreated by: Kirsten Beyer, Michael Chabon, Alex Kurtzman, Akiva Goldsman
Film TitleThe Way Back
The tale of an alcoholic, now featuring high school basketball.
Yellow-bellied and lily-livered. The last time I played organized basketball, I was a sophomore in high school. Our team sucked. We finished the season 1-11, mostly due to the fact that we were playing against teams featuring kids who could dunk (we could not), but also the fact that our coach was an idiot. He […]
A young boy learns a lesson in fantasy. Plus, magic pants.
Are elves aliens? The thoughts of a seven-year old are amazing, especially that he is taking care not to spoil too much. Here are some of those thoughts about the latest Pixar movie, Onward. Alright, what’s the movie we’re talking about right now?Onward. What is Onward?It’s a movie. What is the movie Onward about?These kids, […]
Film TitleThe Invisible Man (2020)
An abusive relationship taken to the next, next level.
See what I mean? There have been plenty of adaptations of H.G. Wells’ classic The Invisible Man, going all the way back to 1933. My personal experience covers the pretty bad Hollow Man (featuring Kevin Bacon) and hot garbage that is The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, not to mention the original novel itself. Based on […]
Film TitleSonic the Hedgehog
Run Sonic, RUN!
Fair enough. My son was looking forward to seeing Sonic for weeks. I was not as enthusiastic, but such are the sacrifices a parent makes for his kid. Unlike him, my memory of Sonic goes all the way back to the original Sega Genesis game, not to mention I also remember many crappy movies based […]
A family goes on a ski trip and there is nothing about that.
DirectorNat Faxon, Jim Rash
Ammon Jacob Ford
Dear cruel world. The advantage in avoiding all trailers for a movie is that you do not know what is coming. Unfortunately, that is also the danger. What little I knew going into the screening of Downhill was that it starred Will Ferrell and Julia Louis-Dreyfus and was about a family on ski trip. IMDb […]
Film TitleBirds of Prey
Harley Quinn’s post break-up story.
Mary Elizabeth Winstead
Ella Jay Basco
Don’t oversell it. Watching a DC Extended Universe (DCEU) movie is a bit like Charlie Brown trying to kick Lucy’s football. Every time you line up the kick, she promises that, this time, she won’t pull it away. By now, you have slipped four discs in your spine, bruised your tailbone, dislocated a hip, and […]
Film TitleThe Gentlemen
A smooth-talking drug lord tries to sell his marijuana business, which is still illegal in 2020 somehow.
Travel well indeed. Guy Ritchie needed a win. After the success of his two Sherlock Holmes films in 2009 and 2011, people largely ignored the very good The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (2015), King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017) was an unmitigated disaster, and the Aladdin remake (2019) was a pile of shit that was […]
Film TitleTroop Zero
A group of kids work to have their voices heard by aliens. Seriously.
DirectorBert and Bertie
A tale of two movies. Sitting next to each other, in the same theater on the same night, my wife and I saw two entirely different movies. I saw a heartwarming movie with adorable, courageous kids, a solid story, and a tight running time that kept the film from meandering. My wife saw a jumbled, […]
Film TitleBad Boys for Life
Two detectives try to relive the glory days.
DirectorAdil el Arbi, Bilal Fallah
Kate del Castillo
So this is what death throes look like. When I was a sophomore in high school, I was a little too talkative one day during math class. My teacher told me stay after the bell rung, and, once everyone else had left the room, told me I could not leave until I acted like a […]