The Radical Moroccan Pizza Deliverer

December 2004:

“Religion convinced the world that there’s an invisible man in the sky who watches everything you do. And there’s 10 things he doesn’t want you to do or else you’ll go to a burning place with a lake of fire until the end of eternity. But he loves you! …And he needs money! He’s all powerful, but he can’t handle money!”
—George Carlin

Jonny will be gunned down in a month…

As all of you reading this should know, Theo Van Gogh was gunned down in broad daylight, then nearly beheaded before having a “warning note” stabbed into his chest by a “radical Moroccan pizza deliverer.” Why? Well, turns out that Vincent’s grandnephew made a film. That’s right, he picked up a camera and recorded some moving images. Turns out that the film was critical of Islam. So the filmmaker had to die.

If you’re around my age (turning 30 soon…) then your first exposure to Islam came back in the late eighties when Ayatollah Khomeini issued a death fatwa (or whatever he did) against Salman Rushdie for writing and publishing his Satanic Verses. Granted, I might be a little bit closer to Mr. Rushdie since he hid out with one of my relatives for a few months (still not saying who or where) but the point is this; Muslims–stop this shit. Similar to how insanely idiotic it is to expect to “win over the hearts and minds” of Iraqis by dropping 500 bombs on their houses, murdering filmmakers because you disagree with the content of their work is idiotic. It will get you nowhere, nowhere at all. You don’t win friends with slaughter!

I have this friend. I consider him to be an awesome guy. He was a doctor, and he gave that up to kayak. He also worked on a dude ranch in Montana. He lives in LA because he finds the rest of the country too whitebread, too honkey. For him, it’s all about the diversity. The other day, I was over at his place drinking some beer and moonshine and we were talking about the election debacle (duh) and how ignorant hicks have doomed the future of our country, thank God we don’t have any children, he’s so glad he left Kansas, how could he live without Thai food, etc. I forget how we got on the subject, but he tells me that he just hates Muslims. Can’t stand them. Wants them all dead. I’m shocked, because he is, like I hinted at, one of the most open-minded people I have ever met.

I don’t hate all anybody. Well, I hate everybody, but that’s just left over high school angst. Still, in my day to day life and thought patterns, I consciously make it a point never to disdain or cast aside anyone based upon how they were born. I tried to explain to my friend that there are like half a billion Muslims and it is insane to hate them all. He was like, “Nope. Fuck ’em.” Now 9/11 is one thing. I don’t want to make any excuses for the bastards who carried it out. As I have said many times, according to me, all involved with the plotting and execution of the hijackings have forfeited their right to existence. But, similar to what Tim McVeigh did in Oklahoma City, the al Queda fuckjobs had a beef with a country, with a way of life, with a philosophy. The murder of Theo Van Gogh was just some fucking cocksucker getting personal. I know that as far as distinctions go, this is a slippery slope, but I hope you can see what I am getting at.

Censorship on any level is an ugly and dangerous beast, and this is its ugliest, most vile form. Censorship does not just affect an individual, but rather the larger society. In many ways, ideas are all we have. As has been said to death ad nauseum, the brilliance of our First Amendment right to free speech and expression is without peer throughout the history of the world. Luckily, most Europeans took what our radical forefathers had to say to heart and after centuries of hellish domination by church/state now enjoy the same freedom (even if in spirit only) that we take for granted. And a beautiful freedom it is. Bullshit like this–gunning down an artist cause you for whatever reason don’t like what he/she is saying–is the ultimate insult, the ultimate “fuck you.” How many artists or just plain old individuals will be too scared in the wake of Van Gogh’s murder to say what they want to say, make what they want to make, express what they want to express? To quote–again–my favorite line from the great George Carlin, “The quality of our thoughts can only be as good as the quality of our language.” And if that language is restricted under penalty of death? Bah, maybe we’re just fucked. Man, what a cocksucker.

Cocksucker Feedback: The Dutch Response

Third Dutchy to Write: 12.24.04;


Hey man,

Before you get the wrong impression about our little country, I will tell you in very short what is going on in Holland, and what caused it. The native dutch are among the most (if not, the most) tolerant people in the world. As long as it doesn’t affect an innocent other in a negative way, we really don’t care what you do think or say. Not for nothing abortion is legal here, gay people can marry, one can smoke pod in the coffeeshops, and penalties for hard drug posession are very mild. On national TV swearwords, nudity and violence are not filtered out. We have a health care and social security system that takes care of everybody.

What’s happening is that a decreasing amount of working people have to take care of an ever expanding amount of parasites. The system will collapse in time if no radical measurements are taken. Decennia of pussy left wing government have brought us in this situation. Why work if you can do nothing and get just a little less money. Make sure you get sick or “disabled” so you can get in the WAO, which is a program where you never have to work again and get money for the rest of your life. One million (!) out of 17 million inhabitants of our country are in the WAO, a majority of them are not born here. Our borders have been wide open to foreigners from all around the world looking for a better life. A lot of them criminals, and just few of them came for reasons other than economic gain. Up until the rise of my hero Pim Fortuyn anyone just mentioning this problem would be considdered an extremist right wing nazi, and thereafter totally ignored. May 5th 2001 Pim Fortuyn was shot dead by a fucking environmentalist hippie, effectively killing all hope I had for Holland.

We have allowed many cultures to set foot on our soil. Creating a multi cultural environment. The purpose was to let them integrate into our society and enrich our culture. Some of them unfortunately don’t accept our values and not even our laws. Islam is an example. There are imams preaching hatred to gay people in mosques (subsidiced in part with dutch tax-payers money).

Theo van Gogh was a huge Pim Fortuyn fan. He also was very critical of islam. He would call muslims goatfuckers. He was often distastefull in his expressions, but he didn’t spare anyone, wasn’t restricting himself to muslims, and was willing to debate it with everybody. He was a shining example of our dutch culture and the act of Mohammed B was clearly an assault on free speech. He is no more and no less than a terrorist.

With this all said I’d like to nominate my landsman Luuk for next month’s cocksucker. He is diverting away from the real problems: specifically the huge gap between civilised values and those of the muslims. He is calling our minister of immigration a racist. She is far from that. She is executing the cabinets policy, which is getting tougher on immigrants. She is sending families home, some of them have lived here for years (on tax payers money). Simply for the fact that they have been illegal here or their immigration request was denied after all appeals. The handshaking incident happened after she already had given 6 other imams a hand, and this fucker could have stood back, but he actually walked up to her to create that scene.

Finally a statistic. In holland right now the number of “native” children born has sunk below 50%. When I told this to an American friend on one of my Vegas trips he said: you’re fucked…..



Subject: Regarding the van Gogh article

Dear Jonny,

As a Dutch citizen, I’d just like to respond to a few things regarding your Theo van Gogh article.

Holland is no longer a liberal country. We are one of those countries that just loves scapegoats (as do many other countries, but I’m just going focus on my little country). Every time some sort of economic crisis break out, we immediately blame someone besides ourselves. It used to be the Jews (most people didn’t really mind all that much when the Nazis came in), then the Antilleans, then it became the Somaliers, now we just blame the Muslims for unemployment, etc. I’m a university student and personally saw someone in one of my lectures tear the headdress from a Muslim girls’ head and be applauded for it, with my professor smirking. I’ve heard people ask why we don’t just locate all Muslims into a specific area of the country or even out of the country permanently (all before the murder). And we’re supposed to be the smartest 5% of the country/world. We currently have a racist as our Minister of Immigration, who of course is for freedom of speech and _expression, but when an Islamic Imam very politely refused to shake her hand (because she is a woman, and the man didn’t feel he was allowed to touch a woman who wasn’t his wife), she went looking for a conflict. The media/politicians/public jumped down the throat of a man who converted Muslim, who said he wouldn’t mind if Geert Wilders (rightwing politician) died of cancer when someone asked him that question. Theo van Gogh once wrote that he thought Paul Rosenmöller (leftwing politician) deserved cancer like no other and people gave him the thumbs up. I’m all for free speech, but let everyone have that right. My country has never tolerated criticism from Islamic people.

Now onto Theo van Gogh himself. The murder really wasn’t about free speech. He’s that person who would just say things to get attention; that kid in class who asks questions he already knows the answer to just to be heard. Is this a reason to be murdered? Of course, not. Does this in anyway justify the actions of Mohammed B. Also no. But it irritates me that the Dutch government took this opportunity to jump on the terrorism bandwagon and claim the “death of the free word”. You can’t believe the look of satisfaction on some politicians faces when they learned it actually was a Muslim this time (cf. Pim Fortuyn) Like you said, it was personal but I put a different definition on that. Aren’t most pre-meditated murders an attack on a person’s views, words or actions? It’s also very interesting to read about Mohammed B.’s childhood and upbringing, turning to a radical Islamic after the death of his mother. Like most ‘terrorists’ (he really doesn’t deserve that distinction) it’s just a case of someone not looking out for a person at a time of distress. We pride ourselves here with our fabulous healthcare and psychological treatment, but it’s shocking how little the Muslim community benefits from it. That, coupled with the fact that there is such a negative view on Muslims (when someone gets beat up, it’s always a Turk or Moroccan who did it…this may sound silly but you can’t believe how many times I’ve heard people tell stories of how he/a friend/a friend of a friend was beat up by an Islamic person), just leads to problems.

The actions can’t be justified, but they sure could be expected. And the negative backlash and over-reaction will only lead to more problems. I really do believe that we won’t solve a thing until the Western nations start examining themselves a little more and see to what degree they are responsible. This is all, of course, my personal opinion. Anywho, I’ll stop this rant now.

Best regards,



And on the other side of the isle;


Subject: JIHAD

Hey man,

I don’t believe your latest cocksucker was a pizza delivery boy. This I can only find in the English media. They might have mixed it up with a related story about a pizzaguy who was mapping an Amsterdam district for a future terrorist strike. I’m pretty sure he never had a real job, and like many of his kind was leeching of our moronic naive social security system. He had ties to several extreme muslim groups and individuals, was clearly another religious wannabe marter who did what he did to please allah. I therefore can not see how his act was “just some fucking cocksucker getting personal”.

I photoshopped his real face on the pizzaguy’s image, for he is a lot uglier and unsymphatetic looking than that guy. Of course he deserves to be the cocksucker of the month.