Comfortable and Furious



1st Annual Ruthless Reviews Satanic Prayer Drive

A Most Inverted Call To Arms

Jonny reads between the lines

This is from the A.P.
(Bolds added by Ruthless.)

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va., July 15 – Religious broadcaster Pat Robertson urged his nationwide audience Monday to pray for God to remove three justices from the Supreme Court so they could be replaced by conservatives.

WE ASK FOR miracles in regard to the Supreme Court,” Robertson said on the Christian Broadcasting Network’s “The 700 Club.”

Robertson has launched a 21-day “prayer offensive” directed at the Supreme Court in the wake of its 6-3 June vote that decriminalized sodomy.

Robertson said in a letter on the CBN Web site that the ruling “has opened the door to homosexual marriage, bigamy, legalized prostitution and even incest.

The same letter targets three justices in particular: “One justice is 83-years-old, another has cancer and another has a heart condition. Would it not be possible for God to put it in the minds of these three judges that the time has come to retire?

Judging from the descriptions, Robertson was referring to Justice John Paul Stevens, who was born in 1920, and Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who had colon cancer surgery in 1999. The identity of the third justice was unclear.

So, here we are, in the year 2003, and we have a former presidential candidate (shudder) and influential religious leader essentially calling for the death of three people whose views he disagrees with. How exactly this differs from the fatwa issued against Rushdie or the actions of al Queda is minimal. Especially since Robertson obviously believes in the power of prayer and thinks it will have a real effect. i.e the “retirement” of the three liberal-ish Justices. Remember, besides being the most conservative maniac going, Robertson, along with his bitch Falwell, took the time to blame liberal civil liberties groups, feminists, pagans, homosexuals, and abortion rights supporters for 9/11. Everyone of course but crazed, Islamic fundamentalists. As anyone with a brain firing on all eight cylinders (or even seven) realizes, this guy and his ilk want an Iran-style totalitarian religious state.

Fuck this guy.

I would like you to please join me in praying to the Devil for the next 666 hours for Robertson’s “retirement.” Let’s give Pat a taste of his own medicine, since he believes in all this crap anyway. I’m not asking Satan to kill him, no. I just want the Unholy Ghost to put the “idea” of “retirement” into Robertson’s head.

(Kill Him Satan, FUCKING KILL HIM!!!)

Email in your Unholy and Most Inverted prayers to:

We’ll post ’em right here on this page. Please include your name, city, Satanic affiliation/denomination, etc.

For reference: Source Article

Matt adds his much needed (and undervalued) two cents…

A much-needed call to arms. I am still in shock that a mainstream leader (and Robertson is mainstream for many Republicans) would call for the deaths of Supreme Court Justices based solely on a difference of opinion. It is, as you say, no different than the rhetoric coming from Iran, Saudi Arabia, etc. That Republican/Christian leaders did not repudiate Robertson’s words speaks volumes about their political beliefs as well. They are scary people and, with Ashcroft and others of his type in positions of power, I tremble for this country in the years to come.

Name: Scareamaya
Location: 5th level
Satanic Affiliation: Right Hand Of

brothers and sisters, peterpuffers and pederasts! behold for the trumpets of the crimson king sound off! cast your spells, chant your incantations, and above all think long and hard about the diseased pat robertson for he deserves nothing less than a painful reminder that he is nothing more than a lowly, shitsucking, maggot infested, hairy louse. infect him with the idea that he must surrender his will to inhale every breath, for breath is life, and pat must die!

Erich is adding his voice to the chorus of frostbitten prayers

Satanic Affiliation: Dark Priest

Pat and Jerry didn’t just blame gays and abortionists for 9-11 They blamed God. They believe that God lifted his protection from the U.S. allowing for the attack to happen, aiding and abetting it. Think about this a little bit more. God is just. He aided the attack, therefore the attack was just.

Oh Dark Prince, I pray that you send your minions to Pat Robortson and instruct them to “put the idea” that he has cancer of the throat and penis “into his head.” I know that you, Mighty Inverted Red One, will give him the idea that his illness will strike the perfect balance between drawing out his suffering and ridding us of him quickly. I pray that you do not allow the idea of this weak man’s suffering to relent until you have used it to force his renunciation of Jesus so that you may claim his soul. And might I suggest, oh evil one, that when you drag him down to hell, you place him in the gay section? Also, why do you carry a pitchfork?

Name: Adam
City: Pittsburgh, PA
Denomination: Eclectic Luciferian

In nomine Dei nostri Satanas, Luciferi excelsi!

Great lord of the abyss, I implore you to summon your demons of lust that they may forcefully insert their iron penises into the puckered little anus of Mr. Pat Robertson. He is simply blind to your ways, and through the rites of lust and decay may he find his way back under the shelter of your scrotum. Oh great serpent, may your forked tongue forever toss his salad as he burns in the pit of iniquity.

For this, I pray!

Name: Damon Apelt

Dear Satan,

Please kill Pat Robertson.

Your truly,


-p.s.- if you kill him I’ll give you some cake

Name: Greg E.

I just wish all religious, hypocritical, morons would die and leave everyone else alone.

Name: Michael Ray

oh cast out the light and unveil the dark wisdom that has evaded pat robertson since becoming a christian. Dark father approach him in dreams as a goat and fuck him senseless telling him the only way to even start negotiating is to retire from the pulpit and recognize eternal damnation as the one and true way stepping aside to let sodomy and grass smoke rule the land until the great goat comes back and does a victory gallop around the earth.

Dear St. Robertson,

While admirable to request the “retirement” of three Supreme Court Justices, You sure picked the wrong three.

If You want to live in a religious state, please slither the fuck to Iran or some other religio-fascist locale and leave us the fuck alone.

This is such an inviting reality that I’ll pray for the beatific delivery of a first-class ticket for You, Rehnquist, Scalia and Uncle Thomas on the airline of your choosing (that flies to Tehran, that is), and I’ll see the lot of you in hell.

Yours In Christ,
Elastico Gomez

Name: Kyle
Location: Akron, OH
Satanic Affiliation: ….um….ive listened to….loud music and have danced. Does that count? (Robertson would consider me an Agent of darkness….)

Dear Lord of Darkness and Father of everything that has ever been interesting,

Please kill Pat Robertson. He is a festering anal sore. A pulsating lump of flesh dripping of infection and disease. He spreads his ridiculous claims like a virus over the air waves and the radio waves infecting the minds of decent people everyday. Hes more volatile then A vat of radioactive waste. He must be handled as such. we should send in a special forces group outfitted in rubber suits to incase him in an air tight rectangular holding device and cast his pudgy carcass into the sun to be obliterated until nothing of him remains….what a wonderful allocation of NASA technology that would be. Id gladly fund that rather then funding a little robot to roll around on Mars surface and collect dirt.

LOCATION: The Arsehole of the world.
Satanic Affiliation: Beelzebub’s drinking buddy

As I lay down to masturbate
I pray to Satan for a soul to take
From an asshole I’d love to beat
Make Pat Robertson bloody meat.

Amen Fuckface, it’s your turn to buy the beer.

Name: luvsatan2003

Dear Satan,

I kneel before you today to ask a for a small favor. I do not ask for much nor am I expecting much, but please, hear my prayer. Pat Robertson’s stomach is made of mortal flesh, like the rest of us humans. So, would it not be possible for Satan to put into the stomach of Pat Robertson a “knife” (which could also be substituted with “sword”, “katana”, “blade”, “jackhammer”) and for a “cock” to be inserted into said hole… and then finally the act of “sexual intercourse” be performed on this hole, thereby slowly and painfully retiring him? I’m sorry for all the good things I’ve done, and I promise I’ll never do good again if you answer this. Thanks.


Our very own Kamdine offers up his backwards prayer:

Yes, okay to all that was said above, but… To keep comparing Robertson’s ideas to Iran’s, Saudi Arabia’s, the Talibans’, and Santa’s little helpers’ is a bit diminutive, or at least not all inclusive because let’s not forget the history of this here country, where bigotry was rampant (talking about slavery here, not the 80’s) and where a certain “secret” society where pricks dress(ed) in white enjoy(ed) burning crosses.

So, instead of saying Pattie wants a regime as the one in , we could say that he wants to go back to the 18th century, where it was okay to lynch people because of the color of their skin, it was okay to shoot people because you just didn’t fancy them that much, and it was okay to fuck your uncle Goober in the stable after rimming the family horse.

In short: Robertson wants to go back to a time when the white man thought he was all powerful and where he had more guns than the other people and could kill whoever he wanted, whenever he wanted, because his cousin was the local sheriff, his mother baked apple pies, and his nephew was a judge.

Oh, and by the way, yeah: Satan, please fuck Robertson. I’m sure he’d enjoy it.

Name: Cornelius

City: Sydney

Demonic Affiliation: None previous, but desperate times call for desperate measures

Oh most all-knowing and Unholy Father,

I humbly beseech thee to grant me my one simple request. I ask thee to accost Marion Gordon Robertson during an airing of his television program and, before the millions of his moronic minions, I ask thee to use thy most enormous and barbed phallic member to deeply and frequently invadest his haemorrhoid-ridden anus for seven days and seven nights, preferably with the aid of a hot chili-based lubricant, whilst Justin Guarini’s album plays backwards at full volume on repeat to accommodate thy most righteous and merciless intervention. Meanwhile, mayest Jerry Falwell, Pat Buchanon and Jimmy Swaggert [Ed Note: Don’t forget Ann Coulter] be rounded up, dragged into the studio like and, in turn, beaten to death with baseball bats whilst Robertson is forced to watch, moaning and sobbing, like Joe Pesci nearest the end of Casino, and their blood offered to thee in Satanic sacrifice. Then, mayest the force of thy ejaculation be sufficient as to transform his head into a fountain of blood, skull, brain and syphilis-infested demon seed. And yea, the world shall rejoice, and know of thy infinite power and wisdom, and we ask thee to come back next week and doest the same thing to Simon Cowell. Amen.

Matt P.

I pray to the god of eternal abyss, please, lord of the darkness, of prince of all evil, please my lord, please see to it that Pat Robertson suffers eternally in the fires of absolute damnation. That he is overwhelmed by your penetrating evil, that he is overcome by the flames of hell. I would sell my sell to see that Pat Roberton is absorbed into your unholy eternity, that he is forever banished from the great earth. Oh Satan, please, see to it that this pathetic pussy mortal of a man is sucked into your beautiful and unholy evil, that he is sucked down by demons of the Earth, let him suffer for eternity, let him be completely and utterly fucked for his entire life, Oh Satan, lord of the earth, to this I pray, I pray Satan sucks his soul for eternity. God help the pathetic soul that is Pat Robertson, let him burn in the eternal pit of misery…oh please dear lord of all that is dark and good. Let Pat suffer for all eternity. God I’m sooooo drunk, please let him suffer!!!!!!!!!!! For this, Satan, Lord of all that is superior, let him be completely fucked, I fucking hate him !!!!!!!!!!!