Comfortable and Furious



Why I believe in Creation


Joseph Farah, CEO

I was stunned the other day when I asked evolution-believing listeners to my nationally syndicated radio show to call in and tell me why they believed. Just give me one reason why you accept the theory, I said. Just give me the strongest argument. You don’t have to give me mountains of evidence. Just tell me why I should accept it.
Not one evolutionist called in.

I had a similar experience with my radio show, “The People with Downs Syndrome are the Master Race Hour.” I asked callers who believe in standardized testing to phone in and make their case. Not one testalutionist called in.

Meanwhile, the phone banks lit up with dozens of evolution skeptics.

Meanwhile, my phone banks lit up with calls about how the best class in school is picking up recyclable litter on campus with a pointy stick.

Go figure. For more than 40 years, evolution has been taught as fact in government schools to generations of children, yet there is still widespread skepticism, if not cynicism, about the theory across the country. But, because of political correctness and the fear of ostracism, most people are afraid to admit what they believe about our origins. That’s why I wrote my last column – I believe in Creation.

Seven out of eight ditsy chicks believe in astrology, and Chinese people think that snorting powdered monkey penis makes you taller. Who gives a fuck?

The reaction to it has been unprecedented. While I expected mostly negative fallout, most letters have been quite positive.


Do you know the meaning of the word, ‘unprecedented?’ A potentially controversial article getting mostly positive support is not unprecedented. It happens all the time on your site. It would be unprecedented for worldnut to hire a writer who did not look more inbred than a Hawaiian monarch. You (pictured above) look like a child molesting magician.


The other times I’ve been on your site, I was greeted by Ann Coulter and “her” Adam’s grapefruit and the guy pictured above, who I imagined scrimping and saving for five years so that he could rent a helicopter for his tenth high school reunion, only to have everyone immediately see through the ruse because they remember what a defective person he was, and because his clothes don’t fit.


So, I decided to take this issue a step further. Since the evolutionists don’t want to tell me why they believe in their theory, I figured I would explain why I believe in mine.

You act like you’re trying to learn the fundamental beliefs of Scientology. This shit is not secret. If you really want to know why people believe in evolution, then you could always, say, get a high school education from teachers at a real school.

The primary reason I believe, of course, is because the Bible tells me so. That’s good enough for me, because I haven’t found the Bible to be wrong about anything else.

Agonizing. I think the bible is wrong about the giant invisible, all powerful, all loving man in the sky who created the entire universe so that he could send people to hell forever because they were born into a Hindu community. And endorsing slavery. Of course, if you’re willing to believe in dragons, I guess there’s no point in arguing. 


But what about the worldly evidence?The evolutionists insist the dinosaurs lived millions and millions of years ago and  became extinct long before man walked the planet.

I hate the word ‘evolutionist.’ Every respected scientist in the world believes in evolution and gravity. There’s no such thing as a ‘gravitationist.’ If you got bone cancer, I would like it and have a

I don’t believe that for a minute. I don’t believe there is a shred of scientific evidence to suggest it. I am 100 percent certain man and dinosaurs walked the earth at the same time. In fact, I’m not at all sure dinosaurs are even extinct

Ok this is getting eerie. This is another topic I brought up on “The People with Down Syndrome are the Master Race Hour.” Maybe you weren’t  listening because this time the switch boards lit up with callers who disagreed with me when I said that Dinosaurs currently roam the earth. Maybe you and I can team up for a show that caters to a more discerning audience.

Think of all the world’s legends about dragons. Look at those images. What were those folks seeing? They were clearly seeing dinosaurs. You can see them etched in cave drawings. You can see them in ancient literature. You can see them described in the Bible. You can see them in virtually every culture in every corner of the world.

I’d like everyone to stop for a minute and drink in the fact that the man who started the largest right wing site on the web just said that he believes in dragons.

Did the human race have a collective common nightmare? Or did these people actually see dragons? I believe they saw dragons – what we now call dinosaurs.

So does the Samsquanch prove evolution? This cannot possibly get any crazier.

Furthermore, many of the dinosaur fossils discovered in various parts of the world were found right along human footprints and remains. How did that happen?
And what about the not-so-unusual sightings of contemporary sea monsters? Some of them have actually been captured

I mean I’ve listened to hours of Art Bell and nobody has ever called in claiming that there are sea monsters in captivity. This cannot possibly get any crazier.

There are also countless contemporary sightings of what appear to be pterodactyls in Asia and Africa.

Sea monsters would at least be hidden from view. But fucking pterodactyls? Swooping around two continents, without anybody ever taking a photo. You do realize that the reason most of us are afraid to go to bus stations and urban YMCAs is that we think someone who smells like urine will come up to us and say something slightly less crazy than, “pterodactyls are flying about Asia and Africa even as we speak ”

You know what I think? I think we’ve been sold a bill of goods about the dinosaurs. I don’t believe they died off millions and millions of years ago. In fact, I’m not at all convinced they’ve died off completely.

We have nuts on the left too. But I think it says a lot that they imagine that the most powerful men in the world engage in backroom 9-11 conspiracies, whereas the nuts on the right think that college professors conceal the fact that there are dinosaurs flying above our heads.

Evolutionists have put the cart before the horse. They start out with a theory, then ignore all the facts that contradict the theory. Any observation that might call into question their assumptions is discounted, ridiculed and covered up. That’s not science.

You are saying that: If you operate on the belief that dragons did not exist, then you are not doing science? I think that, by those standards, you might be the only scientist over the age of five in the entire world.

How could all the thousands of historical records of dragons and behemoths throughout mankind’s time on earth be ignored? Let’s admit it. At least some of these observations and records indicate dinosaurs were walking the earth fairly recently – if not still walking it today. If I’m right about that – which I am – then the whole evolutionary house of cards comes tumbling down.
This is the evidence about which the evolutionists dare not speak.

Thank you. You’ve done so much already that I hate to impose, but I wonder if you could employ your rhetorical skills to try and convince this Korean girl I used to work with to not sleep with me.