Matt Drudge is entertaining for exactly one reason. He’s beloved by “conservatives” because of his tabloid campaigns against the Clintons, while at the same time being a swish of Commando-esque proportions. I happened upon some Internet articles “outing” drudge. Apparently they dug up some leather daddy biker who used to put it to him. Ace investigative reporting. A guy who intros his show with goth/disco music and show tunes, regularly ends sentences with the word ‘honey,’ and who sounds like he’s doing a Jello Biafra impersonation is a homo.

At times I wonder how the relationship between Drudge and his fan base can persist. Occasionally, you’ll hear calls like this one, which I was able to jot down verbatim;

Caller: The liberal media are destroying our country with their left-wing agenda!

Matt: Darn tutin honey! It’s worse than that guy at the bathhouse
who refuses to douche!

Caller: We need to take back out country for Jesus!

Matt: I like to have sex with men! Men, plural.

Caller: Well OK Matt. Love the show.

Matt: Thanks! Say, if you’re into watersports, shoot me an Instant
Message sometime!

Caller: Will do. God Bless you Matt.

How do Matt’s fans, at least half of whom must be foaming homophobes, overlook his fruitiness? I realize these are people who are accustomed to burying their heads as deeply in the sand as possible, but Jesus. It’s like the Chapelle’s Show sketch about the blind, black KKK leader except that Drudge isn’t wearing a hood. Unless of course said hood matches his shoes.

Within that conflict, which must present something of an identity crisis, Drudge often seems to be floundering in an attempt to find common ground with people who, in reality, must be totally alien to him. During the Oscars for example, he spent a good part of his show bemoaning the cultural decline exemplified by Chris Rock beginning his performance with the phrase “sit your asses down!” You could hear the chirping crickets in the red states. “OK, Matt. We’re crazy, but we’re not that crazy. Nobody was actually offended by that. Try again.” Drudge went on to complain about that all contemporary comedy is mediocre now that “the great ones” like Johnny Carson have left us. Who’s he trying to appeal to with that line? My grandparents? Sorry guy, they’re dead. And gramps lost the fedora during the Eisenhower administration.