Ah, schadenfreude.Â Is there a sweeter word in the English language?Â When the financial markets collapse, those of us with little or no short term stake in them can all have a good laugh.Â Granted, the people ultimately responsible for it will be laughing even more loudly, driving their rocket cars back to their solid gold houses.Â The guys in the middle, who generally have snake handling faith in the “free market,” capitalism without restraint and in their own savvyÂ are the ones who get the rug pulled out.Â Unlike those who expect Jesus to come to them as they pass into death, we actually get to see the looks on faces during the jilting of Grant Purchaseall.
I considered going into finance at one point and I’d like to think I’d have been this guy.Â “You think I put my OWN money into that shit?Â Ha!Â It’s vacation time bitches!”
“Hello?Â Whole Foods?Â I was scoffing at a poster about your job fair last week and I was wondering if you still had any…”
“Don’t bother, I already tried them.”
Maybe, just maybe… It’s so crazy it just might…
Sometimes I think it would have been fun to go into TV as well, but then I remember that I don’t count Klaus Barbie as a soulmate.
Well, maybe I should, because the total shock in the pics bellow is hilarious to me.Â “You mean the stock market has an element of risk?Â There’s a downside to issuing countless loans to people who don’t understand the documents they are signing, often because they don’t even speak English?Â It actually matters that they could never possibly pay the loans back?”
This seems to be the stock exchange’s answer to the “duck and cover” method.
“But I was ENTITLED!”
“Maybe if I try to make my mouth the same shape as the graph, I can take control of it.”
If it is possible to overreact to your fortune evaporating, this guy has managed it.
This is priceless.Â I have nothing to add.
“Oh my God!Â Things are just as bad on Sesame Street!Â You said your fundamentals were strong, Mr. Hooper!”