I will leave you now, my fellow Americans, with the famous words from the president of the International Federation of Toilet Bowl. First let me… swallow this raw herring whole.

Topher, Topher, little man, Whiny, tiny, yes, you can. With little or no testosterone, Play an eternal moron! Ha-Ha, your name is Topher!

Goddammit. Jenny…? Jenny! Did you know he’s out again? What? Yes, out! He’s right here, yammering over ‘chawklets’ again… Can you come get him, please? I’m expecting guests.

Madame Starwater sat across from me, her full figure nestled comfortably in a big, creaking rattan chair, while her bright orange kaftan gently swirled around her. She spoke softly, in a calm, soothing voice.

Now, to begin with, plate tectonics are incredibly slow. It takes a really long time for anything to happen. A long, long, lòng, long, LONG, long time.

One thing you should not put whipped cream on, however, is the saddle of one’s bicycle. Especially not if you’re a woman.

It’s not often that the Good Book speaks of fruit, so when it does, it is wise to shut your trap for a second and pay attention. Yes? Yes. So, strawberries!