Natasha Romanov is a tough little bitch. As played by the gorgeous Scarlet Johansson, she survives all sorts of beatings, stabbings, explosions, being kicked off bridges into freezing cold rivers and, of course, driving a Lada.
My uncle had a Lada when I was a kid. They are these horrible Russian-built people cars that look like something a four-year-old would come up with if asked to draw a car. Why am I telling you this? Does this have anything at all to do with this movie? No, it does not. But then again, what does anything have to do with anything? In the end? If you look at the bigger picture? (And trust me, dear readers: there’s ALWAYS a bigger picture…) Everything, I tell you! It’s all connected!
From the very tiniest amount of energy and time on the Planck-scale to the Large Hadron Collider, all the way up to the Hercules–Corona Borealis Great Wall. For those of you that don’t have ChatGPT to ask what’s the biggest known superstructure in the universe, just to make a point: this is an enormous super cluster complex of galaxies, discovered in 2013 through observations of gamma-ray bursts. It’s about ten billion light-years in diameter. Give or take.
The point being, that this movie kicks ass. In more ways than one. (By the way, if you want to see Scarlet Johansson naked, and I do mean full-frontal, check out this great, weird, strange, beautiful movie…)
Anyway, Stop thinking, and end your problems, says the Tao. But I can’t. I find it difficult to meditate. My mind, it won’t quiet. It’s a character flaw, I suppose. We all have them. That last part was a quote from Daredevil, by the way. The TV show. Uttered by Wilson Fisk. Which is hilarious, if you know, like I do, that Wilson Fisk is a murdering psychopath. But aren’t we all? Because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you WANT me on that wall. You NEED me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty! And random movie quotes! Just to fill the space, man. Because space needs filling. What else is it there for?
Just relax, now. Everything is alright. I promise. Your country did NOT just vote that insane orange clown into the White House for the second time, of course not! That was all just a bad dream. A nightmare, from which you just could NOT wake up from! Aren’t those the worst? Those insane, weird fever dreams, in which reality itself just seems to be out of balance?
Off-kilter, somehow… Like you just used that one little bit of too much Drugs & Booze… Just that one, single sip, hit or snort that immediately tells your highly experienced, drug-addled brain: nope. Too much, sucker. This is it. This is that terrible frontier. The very fringes of your mind. This is where it all comes down to. There’s no going back now. The possibility of physical and mental collapse is now very real. No sympathy for the Devil, keep that in mind. Buy the ticket, take the ride.
Yes, Raoul. I will. I will take this ride, all the way down to the bottom. Into the abyss. The dark place. The place where the monsters live. Je maintiendrai.
I will prevail. In French. My country’s motto. I think we proved that. Why? We are still here! The Matrix Revolutions. Yes. Ten points for you. See if you can guess this one:
“I have nothing… to live for out there…”
-”What is out there?”
-”Boundless human stupidity…”
-”I can live with that…”
So, tell me… Can you?
Black Widow, people. Go see it.
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