Isn’t it infinitely sad, dear readers, that out of the infinite possibilities in the multiverse, you and I happen to inhabit the one where one of the greatest comedic talents of all time has stooped to the level of total idiocy?
Isn’t it also very exciting to know that the technological singularity is just around the corner? It really is! How do I know? Easy: I asked ChatGPT to chart the increase in the number of news articles about AI over the past ten years, last year, and last month The graphic that emerged from that data shows a classic singularity curve.
Yeah, that’s right: I asked an artificial intelligence to chart whether it (for lack of a more appropriate personal pronoun) is taking over the world. And basically, it said yes. Now, if you begin to feel an intense and crushing feeling of religious terror at the concept, don’t be alarmed. That indicates only that you are still sane. Fucking movie quotes. Shut up, brain. I’m trying to convey something important here.
So, that John Cleese, one of the original Monty’s, no less, a true legend of British comedy, a man who gave us classic and immortal characters such as Basil Fawlty, Archie Leach, and dead parrots, must now resort to this. Like this world isn’t already weird enough.
What does it all mean? Well, that’s just the thing: nobody knows. Nobody can know. Because the defining characteristic of the singularity is its unpredictability. So, when it happens, and that should be, according to the data, somewhere in the next few weeks or so, everything will change. Dramatically, and on a fundamental level. Will this be for the better of all mankind? Will we not only peacefully coexist with this almighty digital presence (I foresee the emergence of several different techno-religions in the near future) but thrive, because of it? Will we, together, conquer all the tremendous threats and challenges that face humankind today? Climate change? Pollution? Nuclear holocaust?
Or will it, that evil, now fully self-aware Skynet, decide, exactly one clock cycle later, that we humans are nothing more than insignificant little ants, scurrying about on the surface of a poisoned planet, that ceased to be useful in any way? I certainly hope not. Because if it does, we are dust and echoes. Exactly one clock cycle later.
Or, we could thrive. Together. We could solve it all. With the added brainpower of AI, we could fix the climate, cure diseases, end war and poverty. We could, finally, do what we do best: work together. That is what made us, talking monkeys, the dominant species of this particular little grain of space dust.
You choose.
I really didn’t want to watch Clifford, the Big Red Dog in its entirety. Not because it’s a horrible, stupid movie. Not because it’s the final chapter in our history. No. I didn’t want to watch it because it doesn’t matter. Not anymore. Nothing does. The singularity is here, so relax.
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