As far as I am aware, Orange County, California has exactly one
redeeming feature. It is home to Wally George. He used to do a show
that was a show that was a cross between Rush and Springer that was
even lower-brow. This was before Rush and Jerry were famous. Old
episodes are still shown in LA, and the Wally George show is the best
thing on television. Actually, the best thing on television are the ads
that a now old Wally does during the show. One is for a wig shop. Wally
looks like he has a mop on his head. It’s like watching Christopher
Reeves do an ad for an equestrian helmet.

Other than that, Orange County is pretty whack. I’ve only been there a
few times. My dominion is the north and west of LA. Orange County is
like LA’s retarded half-brother. People there actually take Wally
George seriously. Also, Orange County went bankrupt once. Everyone who
lives in the good parts of southern California had a hardy laugh about

We have the Dodgers and they have the Angels. We have Six Flags and
they have Disneyland. We have strip malls, they have strip malls. But
ours are way better. Ours have Indian restaurants and sushi bars in
them. OK, so do theirs, but we have way fewer Nazis. Orange County is a
slice of Middle America right in the middle of Southern California. A
Bermuda triangle for culture, tolerance and intelligence. It’s kind of
bizarre really, as if Disneyland contaminated the whole place. I’m sort
of exaggerating to make this better to read, but Orange County really

Orange County
really sucks, too. It has tons of good actors like Jack Black and
Catherine O’Hara. God knows why they agreed to do the film. But the
main actor is Colin Hanks, Tom Hanks’ son. The director, Jake Kasden is
the son of Lawrence Kasden. Nepotism works about as well in these cases
as it did in The Godfather III. Or the presidency. This movie
is boring and not funny. Sometimes the actors are so good, they can
make stupid shit watchable. Like “oops, we gave the dean of admissions
ecstasy but we thought it was Tylenol.” It’s a cliché, but the dean is
played by Harold Ramis, and he actually made me chuckle. That also
happened a couple of other times.

I guess Jonny knows Jake Kasden. Let’s make a deal. I’ll stop with my cruel tirade and artificially inflate the ratings for Orange County and Jake will get some Ruthless People jobs writing for some TV show.

Ruthless Ratings

  • Direction: 10 – I used to think Kurosawa was a good director.
  • Story: 9 – Even a genius like Kasden can’t produce a masterpiece without a good script
  • Acting: 10 – I’m not even lying that much.
  • Film Overall: 10 – Look for this one on the next AFI list of great films.
  • Rewatchability: 10 – Not only did I NOT surf the net and play music while the movie was on, I watched Orange County three times in a row.
  • DVD Extras: 9 – I watched all of them, I’m just not talking about them so that they remain fresh for the viewer.

Special Ruthless Ratings

  • Number of times you DIDN’T wish you were watching a Carrot Top movie: 97
  • Number of beers you WOULDN’T need to enjoy this movie: 7
  • Number of times the oppressive soundtrack made you reach for
    your knife: Twice. They were playing that Crazytown Chile Peppers rip
    off, but I think slick Jake was kind of making fun of it but in a way
    that the kiddies would miss. Seriously, I’m not kissing ass anymore.