The Spy Who Loved Me: Bond Briefs


The Spy Who Loved Me And then went down to the submarine, maintaining a cruising depth. The admiral’s desk holds three distinct, colorcoded telephones while his KGB counterpart’s desk only has two. Bond has a Russian doppleganger. Everything in Bond’s life is mirrored by a Russian double. He does not work in virgin territory. Bond mutters gnomic utterances about primitive urges and animal vitality. Bond’s watch communicates secret messages that only he can see. Bond is a twoplanker, preferring offpiste skiing. After the chinese downhill a few thugs biff in the champagne powder, some catch an edge, while others pull a Bono.

Bond begins work on his decorative alphabet, reaching the letter E. Submarines give off incriminating heat as they glide through wet interior spaces. Bond seeks justification only in the secret karmic plane that floats above the quotidian world. The Birth of Venus covers up a shark attack. The villain has webbed hands and possibly a dorsal fin. Bond pulls the old Lawrence of Arabia routine. Two old Etonians go native in the land of the riverbank, Kemet. Bond appreciates white slavery. The Egyptian color palette: goldenrod, french beige, light khaki, camel. A small Egyptian degenerate is fatally bitten in Pharaoh Kiops’ tomb.


The Russian secret agent drinks Bacardi on the rocks as a form of silent protest. Jaws takes them to an Egyptian ruin still under construction. Every surface is covered with inscrutable hieroglyphs, perhaps detailing some antique version of an urBond and his travails. Bond’s skin is made from tallow. Descending through a marbled corridor under a pyramind, Bond finds M’s office. This allows for strategic micromanegment. Bond pursues a mission of consequence. He contemplates joining a hippie commune in Sardinia, is into the scene. ‘I’m somewhat a recluse’, the villain says, aboard a secret floating city. He uses a dangerous elevator.


Bond’s marine biologist credentials are tested. His submarine turns into a car. A supertanker swallows a submarine whole only to give up its spoils when the submarine rips itself out of the tanker’s bowels. The villain will inaugurate a neodiluvian period. The nexus of the operations room is a large, rotating globe. Bond rides a floating orb. He computer programs. Bond takes a musclecraft to the submerged city and delivers a fatal blow to the villain’s groin. Bond’s double forgets her vow of revenge and succumbs to the accompaniment of pipedin muzack.




, , ,