There are 285 entries in Rants
FEATURED RANTS
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Jim Morrison: A Tribute
Read more: Jim Morrison: A TributeThe first time I met Jimi, like I mentioned briefly in one of my other writings on this site, was way back in 1992. We met in the best way possible, I think: in a darkened room, while I was still very young—and, more importantly, high as a kite. We sat together, me and a…
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Waterworld: More like Waterloo (1995)
Read more: Waterworld: More like Waterloo (1995)Since I seem to be on this nostalgia trip, let me tell you how I loved to annoy the crap out of my older brother by belittling some cool new piece of tech he had bought. A shiny new TV, a new VCR
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Rambo and the Germans
Read more: Rambo and the GermansI don’t know if you know this, dear reader, but ze Germans have a longstanding tradition of dubbing every single foreign movie and TV show
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Stephen is The King of Kings: Or, How Loudness Mistook Itself for Luminosity
In category (ies) : RantsRead more: Stephen is The King of Kings: Or, How Loudness Mistook Itself for LuminosityDear Mr. Cobb: You are a very strange man, and quite possibly insane as well. Therefore, I like you. Sadly, you are also very wrong. And because me being right and you being wrong is somehow important in this strange little world we inhabit, please, allow me, then, to retort.
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It’s Halloween, I hate Stephen King: Here’s Why
In category (ies) : RantsRead more: It’s Halloween, I hate Stephen King: Here’s WhyWho gave him the unmitigated GALL! to pontificate on the goodness or badness of a writer. Is it his success? The trapped-in-an-airport money he made? Fine.
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Top 10 Halloween Candies That Are More Trick Than Treat
Read more: Top 10 Halloween Candies That Are More Trick Than TreatCandy Corn-Why?–That not a cruel thing to ask, I mean, step back. Candy. Corn. Fucking why? They don’t taste like corn. And they don’t look like corn kernels, except the thin yellow layer at the top
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Reflections on Halloween and other essential holidays
Read more: Reflections on Halloween and other essential holidaysIt isn’t important to celebrate Halloween, that’s what’s so good about it. Have you ever tried to blow off Thanksgiving? It’s like spitting on your mother.
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The Great Pumpkin and the Tragic Piety of Linus
Read more: The Great Pumpkin and the Tragic Piety of LinusI was asked what I like to watch for Halloween, what scares me and what do I watch to be scared, and I had to think about it because I usually don’t watch anything for Halloween.
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Macho Idiots
Read more: Macho IdiotsThere’s a terrific scene in The Terminator when Arnie strides into a nightclub looking for Sarah Connor. A bouncer tries to stop him by slapping a hand on his shoulder, but our futuristic hit man doesn’t even bother looking around. Instead, he grabs the offending limb and gives the fool a taste of his cybernetic…
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The Best Film Ever Made About…
Read more: The Best Film Ever Made About…Everything a married couple experiences during the average evening: lies, recriminations, pettiness, alcohol abuse, adultery, and…
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The Ruthless Guide to 80s Action Movies: Volume 1
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TOP 10
Top 10 Christmas Movie Characters Top 10 Ruthless Reviews Comedies Top 10 Reasons To Be An Atheist Top 10 Movie Drunks Top 10 Favorite Christmas Movies Top 10 Most Outrageous YouTube EatingRANTS LIST
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Eight Wince-Inducing Moments in Movies*
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Elf (2003)
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Dr. Suess’s Ron & Jim Ruined Christmas
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Ridiculous Deaths
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Charles Bronson, R.I.P.
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The Definitive Ranking of Rocky Fighters
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The Art of Darkness: Apocalypse Now & Full Metal Jacket
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My Life Of Crime
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Israel is Worse than You Think
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I Am Your Crazy Facebook Friend: Israel / Palestine Edition.
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Top Ten Low Effort Halloween Costumes
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Happy Halloween From Ruthless Reviews: 2024 Edition
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All Hail, King of the Runts!
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A Presidential Election CAT-Astrophe
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Foreigners, Eh? Guess They’re All Right
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We Can’t Interfere With People’s Beliefs*
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Driving on Hwy. 12 in Utah: The most scenic highway in the USA
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The Beast’s Guide To Bulimia
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God speaks out about attorneys
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We Need More Women Comedians!
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Bitches
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Movie Geeks Manifesto
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Poop: A Love Story
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Great Cocksmen of the American Presidency: Part 2
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Assholes of the American Presidency
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The Cock Also Rises
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The Cock Also Rises 2: Coming on Coney
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Trees: A Tribute to Mother Nature’s most glorious evolved creation.
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The Unsung: Warren Evans in The Lonely Guy
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Assholes of the Cinema: Richard Benjamin in Diary of a Mad Housewife