The Dutchman is in love
I was working on a little list of pros and cons for being Henry Rollins. So far, I got this:
Pros:
- You have the body of a god
- You’re a rock star
- You’re a movie star
- You’re a published author and poet
- You’re a comedian
- You were on MTV, back when it was still MTV
- You’re a spoken word artist
- You’re a human rights activist
- You’re a lifelong bachelor
- You’re rich
Cons:
- Uhm… You die, eventually…?
Maybe he doesn’t die. Maybe he isn’t human. Maybe he’s from another planet that was on the brink of collapse, and his parents, in a last-ditch effort to save their son and their legacy, placed him in a space capsule, destined for Earth, where he would be raised by some good ol’ American Joe Farmer to be god, king, and savior of our world. And who lives on the North Pole, for some reason. Maybe he knows Santa. Wait a minute… Maybe he IS… Yes! I want to live in a world where it’s feasible to imagine Henry Rollins as Santa Claus. What’s that, Joe Shuster and Jerry Siegel? You thought that was a SUPER-original story, and I owe you money now? But how can that be? You’re dead! Ha! Didn’t see that one coming, did ya!?
Anyway. The first time I fell in love with Henry Rollins was way back in the nineties. He appeared in these short spoken word videos on MTV. You see, kids, back in prehistory, MTV broadcast music videos. That’s actually what the ‘M’ in MTV stands for. Nowadays, it turned into this horrible cesspit of human waste, but back then, it was revolutionary and groundbreaking. And there was, all of a sudden, Sir Henry. Then came Liar, song+video clip, as was the norm those days, and my love affair deepened. All that intensity! That raging fire in his gut, soul, and vocal cords, it just needed to get out, and it didn’t matter—not a single snickel, who would be on the receiving end. Burn, world! Yeah, man…
I loved it. My admiration for the man grew even further when I read somewhere, back then, that Mr. Rollins never used any Drugs & Booze. Never! Any! He chose deliberately to experience his life to the fullest, and for him that meant completely sober. I was already an addict in those days, so for me, to come across someone who wholeheartedly and with the deepest of convictions lived a life almost on the other end of some imaginary spectrum I had in my head, well, he could just as well be living on the end of a rainbow. I needed someone like him to exist, even if I couldn’t follow him. Yeah, I had me some man-crush…
I know now that he did experiment a few times in his early years, but mostly avoided recreational drugs for the rest of his life. I only ever saw one movie from His Rolliness in which he actually plays the lead role, and that’s He Never Died. In it, he plays Jack, a loner of a character that has to suppress the urge to eat and drink human flesh and blood. He himself is… not quite human, shall we say… He does, however, have a daughter, and then bad guys kidnap her. And then this not-quite-human thing wearing a Henry Rollins-suit goes after them. I think you can probably imagine where this leads to. I won’t spoil it, for those of you who haven’t seen it and want to, but throats are being ripped out with bare hands. And consequently eaten. ‘Nough said, I think.
Stupid people… Kidnapping Henry Rollins’ daughter… That’s like walking up to 90’s era-Steven Seagal and calling his mother a whore. Obviously, being deeply in love with His Sirness and being a big fan of monster movies, I liked this one very much. Other than this, he was mostly a supporting actor, with roles in movies like Heat, Johnny Mnemonic and Bad Boys II.
I must admit that apart from Liar I’m not that familiar with his musical career. But trust me when I say that he is, for all intents and purposes, very much a hardcore punkrockin’ animal.
What else did he do? What did he NOT do? Like I mentioned in that little list at the beginning, he is also a spoken word artist, a human rights activist, a writer, poet, TV- and radioshow presenter, comedian… It’s a multitude of talents all bundled into one very angry package.
Today, Sir Rollins is 64 years old. I hope that he lives to be a hundred, in good health and with lots of friends. But then again, he may never die… I’m going to leave you now, with some of His own words. May they strengthen and invigorate you, forevermore.
“I don’t believe in fate or destiny. I believe in various degrees of hatred, paranoia, and abandonment. However much of that gets heaped upon you doesn’t matter – it’s only a matter of how much you can take and what it does to you.” –Henry Rollins
Amen, Sir.
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