What is a Dingleberry?

Someone asked: What is a dingle-berry?

WARNING: Ladies, this probably does not concern you. This is pretty disgusting stuff, so just scroll on down if you are squeamish.

Dingle-berry (n.) aka dingleberry -and- (colloquially-South) dinkleberry.

This is an annoying and disgusting tiny ball of dried up poo that hangs on to ass hairs with the determination of the strong nuclear force. Dingle-berries are most common to the human male, other apes, bears, and also pets.

Dingle-berries are usually detected after category 3 or above bowel movement. You suspect something is amiss when you are confident that you rectum is empty, but after wiping 57 times with t-p, wet wipes, wash clothes, and everything else save the Memphis Commercial Appeal, the unsavory sculpture on the wiping medium tells you that you are not through.

Remedies:

1. Live with it and ignore it. (not recommended)
2. Try to remove the offending hair and its unwelcome parasite with scissors. (due to the location and logistics, also not recommended)
3. Have a spouse, S.O. or good friend remove it for you, also known as a stern test of whether or not your wife or SO really loves you. (Also not recommended)
4. O.K., you’re a man. If Volodymyr Zelenskyy can face down the Russian army and Putin, you can deal with these horrors with decisive action. With wet toilet paper, go in and locate the offending matter. Get a good grip and pull out the hairs. Yes, it is painful, but it the best and most private way to deal with this (Recommended)