Comfortable and Furious

Layman’s Guide to Slots

Have you ever wondered why slots are more popular than any other gambling game in existence? They burn through your money so fast leaving you scratching your head, wondering what the heck happened. Some of the stupidest, mind-numbing, most idiotic games ever are none other than crappy slots. Why then, do they still attract so many of us, ending up the bread and butter of every casino that has them? It’s because they require no brains, no knowledge, no strategies of any kind, no nothing except a bit of cash and a willingness to give it away. The most idiotic fool can win a life-changing amount of cash on any given day just by pushing a button or pulling a lever. Perhaps you know one of these one hit-wonders yourself and hate them with a burning passion. Yep, that’s all there is to it – if people tell you otherwise, have a good laugh and then punch them in the face.

Since most of us are unable to resist our basic urges to do stupid things, and will play slots despite all the warnings from the wise, it’s good to know there are some things we can do to save ourselves from the worst case scenario – losing big-time and felling like an idiot afterwards. Ultimately, there is nothing we can do to affect the outcome, but it is possible to push the odds a tad bit on our favor by following a few simple rules.

It’s Random and It’s Bad

‘Playing them is as easy as pressing a button. However, between the high house edge and fast rate of play, there is no quicker way to lose your money in a casino.’ – Michael Shackleford (Wizard of Odds).

Despite all the slot experts out there claiming otherwise, everything about slots is pretty much random. Don’t be silly and believe the conspiracy theories and mysterious workarounds that supposedly help when dealing with these games. You may be tempted to try out some of these brilliant solutions, like heating the coins or bribing the staff, but listen to that tiny voice of reason in your head telling you you’re acting like an idiot.

Each and every spin is random and independent from one another. There is no secret pattern to be discovered and no special strategy to use, if there was such a thing, don’t you think someone would have found out by now and proclaimed to the world? Let’s face it, even if there was, you’d be the last person on Earth to know about it, so relax and take it easy.

Don’t worry about casinos cheating. They don’t have to. The odds against players are so devastatingly bad, it’s a true wonder that anyone wins at all. Counting on higher returns won’t save you in the end – if you play long enough on any slot, you will lose all your money eventually.

Popular Misconceptions

Yes, you can be rude to staff all you want – the worst they can do is spit in your drink or call the cops if you take it too far. What they most certainly can’t do is remotely alter the slot to tighten it up and mess up your chances to win. They’d have to disassemble the machine right there on the spot, and you’d certainly notice something like that happening, unless you’re really drunk or just plain crazy.

Time of the day, seasons or conventions taking place at the casino you visit do not affect the slots in any way. As for the higher-paying slots being placed in certain areas of the casino – that might sometimes happen by chance, which doesn’t make it a rule. Don’t go around bothering staff, offering a percentage in return for that information, that’s borderline begging and completely unfounded. Are you really that desperate?

Using slot club cards, lever or button machines or hot coins to improve your odds are so far out they’re not even worth explaining. What about slots that don’t accept coins? The software that machines use cannot possibly detect you’ve just inserted a card so that it reconfigures to suddenly becoming cheap.

But there is one claim that has been fooling players since forever, and it concerns the time a slot has gone without paying the jackpot. It’s easy to believe this one, we’ll give you that. There are so many theories about this particular myth circulating around, some of them so elaborate and convincing it’s hard to keep your head cool. But when you take into account the underlining principle of randomness, everything else goes down the drain. The time between payouts doesn’t matter, because each spin is an independent event with a randomly determined outcome.

What Can Be Done

First and foremost, let the main reason for your gambling escapades be entertainment. Easier said than done, but at least try to make it more about fun and less about profit. Caring too much about winning makes a man susceptible to foolishness – you’ll become desperate and that’s a wide road to bankruptcy.

Choose your slots carefully. Don’t go after the flash and fancy cabinets like a noob. If a machine looks like a spaceship and has mechanics more complicated than quantum physics, skip it and find yourself a nice, simple reeler to enjoy. It’s not carved in stone, but vanilla slots do tend to be looser and easier to deal with.

Higher denominations have higher chances of winning, but you risk more money playing them. If you play lower stakes, the odds are worse but the loss is bearable. Of course, if you choose progressives, it’s clear you’ll bet max to have a chance at jackpots, because why would you play these slots otherwise? They do have the worst odds out of the bunch. The higher the jackpot, the tighter the slot.

Decide on a budget and stick to it, even if you start winning quite big. And whatever you do, do not increase the bet to counter the losing streak. Inform yourself about basic stuff so that you know what kind of slot suits you best. To get good head start of slot options, LatestCasinoBonuses provides a magnificent Slot review list for land based including online Casinos plus the best Bonuses to fatten your starting bankroll. Know you can’t beat slots, it’s impossible. Keep your habits on a short leash to make your favorite pass-time long, fun and consequence free.

In short, to have the best chances of winning, pick mechanical over video slots, higher denominations over lower, and the smallest jackpots you can find. But the most important thing is knowing when enough is enough. When you hit a good streak and win enough to make you satisfied, or you have a bad day and it keeps getting worse, just call it quits and go home, buddy, go home.