According to the nursery rhyme, little boys are made of snips, snails and puppy dogs’ tails. However, some parents being driven up the wall by their misbehaving spawn probably believe they’re actually jam-packed with satanic DNA. Take Damien Thorn. There’s just no hope with this kid. Appoint a nice nanny to look after him? She’ll […]
Sudden Impact (1983)
December 6, 2021 by
Tagline: Two killers are at large. One of them is Dirty Harry. Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence: Revenge is best served with a comically farting dog. Homoeroticism: All in all, this is probably the most disappointingly hetero movie in the whole series, as Harry gets closer to a woman than […]
Starring Debuts #5: Eddie Murphy in 48 Hrs. (1982)
December 4, 2021 by
The pioneering brilliance of the ancient Greeks laid many of the foundations for Western civilization, producing great leaps forward in fields as diverse as philosophy and science. For hundreds of years progress and innovation flourished until the curtain was violently brought down by the Romans. What a shame. Somehow, though, a cinephile like me finds […]
Unforgiven (1992)
December 1, 2021 by
For whatever reason, the Western became very sick in the 1970s, one of its shuddering last breaths taken when a scar-faced Clint Eastwood jumped behind a Gatling gun to let loose merry hell in the brilliant Outlaw Josey Wales. There was nothing of much note after that, the genre pretty much given the coup de […]
Starring Debuts #4: Kathleen Turner in Body Heat (1981)
November 30, 2021 by
Now this is my idea of a Strong Female Role. Kathleen Turner’s performance in Body Heat hasn’t quite carved itself into pop culture as unmistakably as Louise Fletcher in Cuckoo’s Nest, Judy Garland in Wizard of Oz or Gloria Swanson in Sunset Boulevard, but it’s hard to think of any woman who’s made a better […]
Starring Debuts #3: Jamie Lee Curtis in Halloween (1978)
November 29, 2021 by
The most surprising thing about Jamie Lee Curtis’ career-launching turn as Laurie Strode in this late seventies slasher is how dull she is for nearly all of it. And I don’t mean dull in an interesting way. I mean, dull. Perennially clutching books, agreeing to yet another babysitting job, addressing her elders as ‘sir’, listening […]
Starring Debuts #2: John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever
November 28, 2021 by
You’d think the sight of a bloke walking down a street carrying a tin of paint isn’t much of an opening for a movie. But we’re talking John Travolta in his pomp here, and he’s not just walking, he’s strutting like an electrified peacock to those falsetto disco gods, The Bee Gees. “Well, you can […]
The Enforcer (1976)
November 28, 2021 by
Tagline: The “dirtiest” Harry of them all! Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence: Harry endures militants, radicals and, worst of all, women. Homoeroticism: The lead baddie, Bobby Maxwell (DeVeren Bookwalter) shares Harry’s love of the kill, a look of erotic rapture overtaking his face as he shoves his huge knife into […]
Chato’s Land (1972)
November 27, 2021 by
Chato’s Land is not a happy movie or your usual Western. It is not a funny film, or one for viewers who cannot tolerate vile bigotry and brutal and explicit rape. However, it is a movie that showcases the laconic Charles Bronson at his most ripped and bad-assed best. If you thought the villains in […]
Starring Debuts- #1: Paul Hogan in Crocodile Dundee (1986)
November 27, 2021 by
Here in Oz there’s a cringe factor around Crocodile Dundee, despite it being a worldwide phenomenon that took well over three hundred mil at the box office. Perhaps it’s disliked in hipster circles because it was such a runaway success. After all, the titular character is a rough hewn, leg-pulling pub-dweller, the sort of guy […]
Magnum Force (1973)
November 22, 2021 by
Tagline: This time the bullets are hitting pretty close to home! Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence: Harry could just kill his Stupid Chief this time. Homoeroticism: Once again limited almost exclusively to the fetishization of guns, beginning with the opening credits sequence, which consists of a very long shot of […]
The ABCs OF CHRISTMAS
December 23, 2018 by
The ABC’s OF CHRISTMAS Alcohol– Face it, whether it be the vilest Kosher Wine, Grandmas 90 proof eggnog or just the familiar handle of Jack Daniels, you cannot get through this period without it. Besides, its the biggest holiday of the year, so you can get hammered with a minimum of repercussions. Raise a glass…to […]
