Category: 80s Action
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Commando
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Read more: CommandoMore than you could possibly imagine. I mean all the crap about Arnold being Der Gropin’fuhrer was just a rightwing-ruse to distract Californians from the fact that Schwarzenegger has starred in the single gayest movie ever made.
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PREDATOR
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Read more: PREDATORThe great states of California and Minnesota.
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Big Trouble In Little China (1986)
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Read more: Big Trouble In Little China (1986)Big Trouble In Little China Released:1986 Tagline: They told Jack Burton to go to hell…and that’s exactly where he’s going! Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence: They need girl(s), and the truck. Fuck Chinese Magic! Homoeroticism: None. Oh, boy, we need to talk. O.K., there was a weak attempt at redemption…
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LETHAL WEAPON
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Read more: LETHAL WEAPONBig Cocks.
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RED HEAT
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Read more: RED HEATTagline: “Moscow’s toughest detective. Chicago’s craziest cop. There’s only one thing worse than making them mad. Making them partners.” Entire Story In Fewer Words Than Are In This Sentence: Russian Asshole and Polish Cop Kill Drug Dealers. Homoeroticism: ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! Gayest of all 80s Action films! ALERT! In Indian movies, sex is represented by…
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DEATH WISH
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Read more: DEATH WISHThe 1974 classic that helped usher in an era of hostility to liberalism, minorities, and apologists for crime and violence.
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FIRST BLOOD
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Read more: FIRST BLOODWould it surprise you to know that Stallone is shown being pummeled by high-pressure hoses while in a jail cell?
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MISSING IN ACTION
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Read more: MISSING IN ACTIONNorris visits Bangkok and turns down an offer of a $10 hooker.
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DEATH WISH 3
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Read more: DEATH WISH 3If it is possible for you to watch Death Wish 3 my choice as the single guiltiest pleasure ever put on screen and not be entertained and…
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DEATH WISH 2
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Read more: DEATH WISH 2Every time they are supposed to have dinner or go out on a date, Bronson is too busy filling scum with lead.