“F9” – Dumb a thousand times. F9 is one the dumbest movies I have ever seen. It was so dumb, rather than waste brain cells and precious time thinking about this travesty, I considered just writing the word “dumb” one thousand times and calling it a review. That is what this movie deserves. But, the […]
F9: The Fast Saga

Film Title
F9: The Fast SagaSynopsis
It’s a Dom Dom Movie
Director
Justin LinCast
Vin Diesel
Michelle Rodriguez
Jordana Brewster
Tyrese Gibson
Charlize Theron
Helen Mirren
Kurt Russell
The Boogeyman (2023)

Film Title
The BoogeymanSynopsis
Reliving childhood fears
Director
Rob SavageCast
Sophie Thatcher
David Dastmalchian
Chris Massina
LisaGay Hamilton
Madison Hu
Vivien Lyra Blair
“The Boogeyman” – Reliving childhood fears. My first scary movie was the original Poltergeist. I was around eight years old at the time and my dad thought it would be a good idea to let me watch it. He was wrong. I distinctly remember being terrified by the scene where Robbie is dragged under the […]
The Little Mermaid (2023)

Film Title
The Little MermaidSynopsis
A young mermaid trades her voice for legs
Director
Rob MarshallCast
Halle Bailey
John Hauer-King
Melissa McCarthy
Javier Bardem
Awkwafina
“The Little Mermaid (2023)” – The Voice. With the release of the live-action remake of The Little Mermaid, Disney will almost assuredly see its last billion-dollar box office remake of a beloved classic. Like The Lion King, Aladdin, and Beauty and the Beast before it, The Little Mermaid will benefit from my generation reminiscing about […]
How to Create a Film Fan in Five Easy Flicks
My cousin doesn’t understand my work, movies bore him, he says, but I don’t blame him, since in his mid-twenties and according to him has never seen a black and white movie all the way through his cinema appreciation is in the dumps. Double that the only movies he’s actually seen have been post 2000s, […]
ISA Investment Review – The Best Investment Platform for Everyone
Introduction Investing in the stock market can be a great way to grow your wealth over time. However, many people are intimidated by the stock market and don’t know where to start. That’s where ISA Investment comes in. ISA Investment is a broker that makes it easy for anyone to invest in the stock market, […]
The Insult of Cocaine Bear is Greater Than its Mere Crapitude
I.. Am. Dismayed. Dismayed and adrift. Dismayed, adrift, unseen and ignored. What brought me to this lowly state? Why, I’ll tell you. ON NO LESS THAN NINE OCCASIONS has Hollywood passed on my Kiplingesque treatment of nature by making Cocaine Bear…an insult I have not seen and will not see, but the pain, the sting, […]
Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 3

Film Title
Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 3Synopsis
Come and get your love
Director
James GunnCast
Chris Pratt
Zoe Saldana
Bradley Cooper
Chukwudi Iwuji
Dave Bautista
Vin Diesel
Karen Gillan
Will Poulter
Audiences seem genuinely confused by the current slate of MCU offerings and what to expect going forward. Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness and Black Panther: Wakanda Forever were both quite good. But Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania was only okay, Ms. Marvel was a waste of time, She-Hulk: Attorney at Law did not […]
Assassin’s Creed (2016)

Film Title
Assassin's CreedSynopsis
A bad review of a really lousy movie
Director
Justin KurzelCast
Michael Fassbender
Marion Cottilard
Jeremy Irons
Brendan Gleeson
Michael K. Williams
Time travel really messes with… Wait. Didn’t I do this all ready? I probably did. But because we are, all of us, inside The Singularity right now, that really doesn’t matter anymore, because out here, things like ‘didn’t’ and ‘here’ are just these outdated concepts from some ancient, brutal, ape-like species, living on some tiny […]
Sisu (2022)

Film Title
SisuSynopsis
Silence is Golden
Director
Jalmari HelanderCast
Jorma Tommila
Mimosa Willamo
Askel Hennie
Jack Doolan
Tatu Sinisalo
“Sisu” – Silence is golden. Aatami (Jorma Tommila), the main character in Sisu, has two lines of dialogue in the film’s entire ninety-minute runtime. Both of them occur at the film’s end and neither of them define the word sisu. According to another character, Aino (Mimosa Willamo), sisu is a Finnish concept that cannot be […]
80’s Action Is No Laughing Matter: Part 2
Chuck Norris in Firewalker Loathed by the critics, Chuck’s first shot at comedy in 1986 was a box-office dud that helped finish off his benefactor Cannon Films. Good work, son. Plusses: I couldn’t really follow the premise, but we end up with two adventurers and a pretty bird trying to find buried treasure in Central […]
80’s Action Is No Laughing Matter: Part One
You’ve heard the sayings. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Variety is the spice of life. A change is as good as a rest. And so on. Well, for most actors it’s straightforward to enjoy a wide range of roles, but action stars do have a tendency to plough the same bullet-ridden furrow. […]