Quills (2000)

Film Title

Quills

Synopsis

Just another family values movie from Ruthless

Director

Philip Kaufman

Cast

Joaquin Phoenix
Geoffrey Rush
Kate Winslet
Michael Caine

“Why should I love God? He strung up his only son like a side of veal. I shudder to think what he’d do to me.” –The Marquis de Sade I guess that it is pretty obvious by now that I rarely review bad movies (EDITOR’S NOTE: That’s a lie) or even movies that I don’t […]

Venom: Let There Be Carnage

Film Title

Venom: Let There Be Carnage

Synopsis

Venom: Let There Be Carnage – Yeah, PG-13 Carnage

Director

Andy Serkis

Cast

Tom Hardy
Woody Harrelson
Michelle Williams
Stephen Graham
Reid Scott

In order to understand how low my expectations were for Venom: Let There Be Carnage, think about some of the movies that have come out this year that should have been entertaining, but absolutely crapped the bed. Without Remorse, Mortal Combat, F9, and Snake Eyes were terrible and that is coming right on the heels […]

Carter v. Shand: Battle of the British Gangsters

There are many people who like to grapple with the Big Questions, such as whether we’re alone in the universe, what happens after death and what celeb has the best tits. Luckily I’m in a position to answer the last one in that God has the best tits because (a he’s Perfection so it stands […]

No Time to Die

Film Title

No Time To Die

Synopsis

The end of another era in 007 films

Director

Cary Joi Fuckanaga

Cast

Daniel Craig
Ana de Armas
Rami Malek
Ralph Fiennes
Lea Seydoux
Christoph Waltz

“No Time to Die” – The end of an era It has been six long, long years since the last James Bond film (Spectre) graced us with its presence. In fact, those years were so long that I forgot that I created a review format for James Bond films. This is a pleasant surprise for […]

Qu’est-ce que c’est?

Some things are undeniably wrong, such as serving peas and baked beans on the same plate, the South African accent, and Phil Collins singing about homelessness. I guess you could throw serial murder into the same mix, but I’d still argue Another Day in Paradise is a greater crime against humanity. Anyhow, we all like […]

The Addams Family 2

Film Title

The Addams Family 2

Synopsis

The Addams Family 2 – Uhhhhhh….naaaaaaah

Director

Greg Tiernan-Conrad Vernon-Laura Brousseau

Cast

Oscar Issac
Charlize Theron
Chole Grace Moretz
Javon Walton
Snoop Dog
Bette Midler

“The Addams Family 2” – Uhhhhhh….naaaaaaah. When I was a kid, I loved watching reruns of the old Addams Family TV show. They made me laugh and I liked the spooky factor. As an adult, I cannot watch reruns of that show. They are terrible. And not terrible in the way of watching them through […]

The Eyes Of Tammy Faye

Film Title

The Eyes Of Tammy Faye

Synopsis

Praise The Lord, indeed. The story of Tammy Faye



Cast

Jessica Chastain
Andrew Garfield
Cherry Jones
Vincent D'Onofrio
Sam Jaeger
Mark Wystrach

“The Eyes of Tammy Faye” – Sweet Jesus. Up until a month ago, my exposure to televangelism consisted of two experiences. The first, and recurring weekly, was sitting in the church parking lot after Sunday mass trying to get reception on the little TV in our family van while my parents were at some adult […]

Eight Wince-Inducing Moments in Movies*

Sew Tough! I was about fourteen when I first caught First Blood on home video, the perfect age to vicariously revel in such macho histrionics. Immediately afterwards, I ran outside, knocked the first motorcyclist I saw to the ground, and headed off for the woods at breakneck speed with an imaginary entire police force hot […]

Theater Of Blood (1973)

Film Title

Theater Of Blood

Synopsis

Disgruntled actor, presumed dead, starts murdering his critics

Director

Douglas Hickox

Cast

Vincent Price
Ian Hendry
Diana Rigg
Milo O'Shea

Do you have a mantra that helps you get through life’s darker moments? You know, something that enables you to cope with the searing knowledge that dreams don’t come true and you’ll instead have to settle for second, third or fourth best as you crawl unfulfilled toward your grave. I cling to the insight of […]

Cool Hand Luke

Film Title

Cool Hand Luke

Synopsis

What we’ve got here, Is failure to communicate

Director

Stuart Rosenberg

Cast

Paul Newman
George Kennedy
Strother Martin
J.D. Cannon
Morgan Woodward
Dennis Hopper
Wayne Rodgers
Harry Dean Stanton

“A natural born world-shaker“ Paul Newman has always been in the top tier of the greatest actors of all time. He is certainly in the company of actors like Peter O’Toole, Daniel-Day Lewis, Jack Nicholson, Richard Burton and Sidney Portier. His accomplishments as a beer drinker, race car driver, blue-eyed sex symbol and actor are […]