Category: Features
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The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
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Read more: The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)What can you possibly expect from a movie that was made before CGI, a musical, and one that features stop motion animation? A dazzling masterpiece, that’s what.
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The ABC’s Of Halloween
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Read more: The ABC’s Of HalloweenAlcohol– Like any other holiday that we Americans celebrate, Halloween is just another good excuse to get hammered. I mean, why should the kiddies have all the fun? The urchins wreck their pancreases with a sucrose overload, so why can’t you destroy your liver with ethanol? Quid Pro Quo, right? Black Cats– Halloween is rich…
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The ABC’s of Breakups
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Read more: The ABC’s of BreakupsSex Memories: The only worthwhile wreckage from a dramatic split are those moments, etched in your gray matter, of tangled limbs, colliding…
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Un Coeur en Hiver (1992) (A Heart In Winter)
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Read more: Un Coeur en Hiver (1992) (A Heart In Winter)I was asked what was a great movie about love? Now I’m no expert on love, but I do recognize great films every once and awhile. Check out this magnificent French film
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Everything About The Woody Allen Allegations. Everything.
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Read more: Everything About The Woody Allen Allegations. Everything.And now, prepare to be engrossed by the misery of other people and the shittines of our species.
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The ABC’s of the Old Testament: Answers in Genocides Edition
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Read more: The ABC’s of the Old Testament: Answers in Genocides EditionAdam The first human, the father of all mankind, created by God out of dirt. Of course, for the human race, the pain begins early as The Creator did not just magically create Eve out of more dirt, no, he chooses to yank a rib out of Adam (Genesis 2:19), with no anesthesia, which was…
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The Beast Of Yucca Flats (1961)
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Read more: The Beast Of Yucca Flats (1961)The Beast Of Yucca Flats is a mind-melting mess of a horror movie created by the one and only Coleman Francis. This movie is only 54 minutes long, but it seems to drag on for hours
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Qu’est-ce que c’est?
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Read more: Qu’est-ce que c’est?Some things are undeniably wrong, such as serving peas and baked beans on the same plate, the South African accent, and Phil Collins singing about homelessness. I guess you could throw serial murder into the same mix, but I’d still argue Another Day in Paradise is a greater crime against humanity. Anyhow, we all like…
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Forrest Gump: The Movie We Love (To Loathe)
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Read more: Forrest Gump: The Movie We Love (To Loathe)There is one movie that has upset me so deeply that I cannot help but write a rant about it. For years this film has been praised and lauded ad nauseum, and I’m sick of it.
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Savage Streets (1984)
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Read more: Savage Streets (1984)After starring in The Exorcist at the tender age of fourteen, the world was Linda Blair’s pea green vomit-covered oyster