Starring debuts #17: Gene Wilder in The Producers (1967)

Film Title

The Producers

Synopsis

A movie that shows ‘the true Hitler, the Hitler with a song in his heart’

Director

Mel Brooks

Cast

Gene Wilder
Zero Mostel
Kenneth Mars
Dick Shawn
Christopher Hewett

Comedians often suck when they try their luck on the big screen. They might be established stand-ups able to sell out 3,000-seater venues or a much-loved part of Saturday Night Live, but something invariably starts to stink during their feature-length stuff. To be fair, it’s very difficult for any performer to make consistently funny flicks. […]

Imaginative Bursts of Sadism

Do you ever do that thing, perhaps while life hasn’t been treating you too brilliantly, when you start reading up on sicko Nazi and serial killer shit? You don’t mean to (perhaps you’ve got a spare half-hour between charity commitments) but somehow you’re disappearing into the bowels of the internet consuming blood-drenched pages about medieval […]

The Amusingly Bonkers: Part Two

Switchblade Sisters AKA The Jezebels (1975) Normally if a movie contains knife fights, rape, pimping, drug dealing, nudity and shootings, you can safely assume it’s a drama. Not Switchblade. It’s pure comedy from start to finish. It’s so OTT there’s not one ounce of dramatic tension to be found, but wander into its overheated, estrogen-fuelled […]

The Amusingly Bonkers: Part One

There are plenty of people who take enormous pleasure in hooting through terrible movies. The so-bad-it’s-good crowd. Fair enough. I must admit I enjoy The Exorcist’s craptastic sequel, a flick that regularly ends up on lists of the worst ever made. I also heartily respond to the mammalian madness of Orca: The Killer Whale, a […]

Ulzana’s Raid (1972)

Film Title

Ulzana's Raid

Synopsis

Merciless killers chase merciless killers across the merciless desert

Director

Robert Aldrich

Cast

Burt Lancaster
Bruce Davison
Jorge Luke
Richard Jaeckel
Joaquin Martinez

Some films don’t appeal. They might be a huge hit, win a boatload of Oscars, and get cracking reviews and yet… I’d rather read the Koran than take a gander. Maybe you feel the same. Maybe there’s a flick or two you can think of that the prospect of sitting through leaves you cold. Dances […]

Old Fuckers

At the beginning of Rocky IV, Rocky and Apollo dance around the ring throwing mock insults but essentially admiring each other’s physiques. It’s one of moviedom’s gayest starts, especially with lines like “I’m gonna whip your butt” and “You really look good for an older guy.” To be honest, it’s a bit of a surprise […]

Crawlspace (1986)

Film Title

Crawlspace

Synopsis

A Nazified acorn doesn’t fall far from the tree

Director

David Schmoeller

Cast

Klaus Kinski
Talia Balsam
Barbara Whinnery
Kenneth Robert Shippy

Sometimes you want a movie to educate, move or inspire you. And sometimes you just wanna watch that pint-sized Teutonic nutter Klaus Kinski collect eyeballs. Now I’m not one to condemn actors for their off-screen behavior or ill-judged Tweets. I don’t really care what they get up to or what their political affiliations are. I […]

Early Days: Part Two

Blaxploitation As you probably know, I likes me a bit of blaxploitation, even though much of it was an unashamed rip-off of whatever whitey was up to. Westerns, horror, crime, comedies… the blacks always had some sort of crappy facsimile to hand as typified by the likes of Blacula and Black Shampoo. Well, everyone’s gotta […]

Early Days: Part One

By Dave Franklin I’ve met a handful of folk who insist old movies are boring. They don’t like stuff from cinema’s greatest decade, the 1970s, because it’s slow or the special effects aren’t as good or the hairdos are silly. Anyhow, after I’ve stabbed these ignoramuses and they’ve begun to recover from the shock, I […]

Fucked Up Films #4 -Deep River Savages/AKA Man from Deep River/AKA Il paese del sesso selvaggio/AKA Sacrifice

Film Title

Deep River Savages/AKA Man from Deep River

Synopsis

A Club 18-30 holiday for the most ardent of masochists

Director

Umberto Lenzi

Cast

Ivan Rassimov
Me Me Lai
Pratitsak Singhara
Sullalewan Suxantat
Ong Ard

What are these sick bastards doing? I don’t think I caught the hero’s name, but given his wondrous flaxen mane I shall refer to him as Blonde Magnificence. Really, his flowing tresses are on a par with Klaus Kinski and Rutger Hauer. No idea if this dude graduated to playing a Nazi but, believe me, […]