Escape From Tomorrow (2013)

Film Title

Escape From Tomorrow (2013)

Synopsis

Disney receives a surreal middle finger!

Director

Randy Moore

Cast

Roy Abramsohn
Elena Schuber
Katelynn Rodriguez
Jack Dalton
Danielle Safady
Annet Mahendru

Escape From Tomorrow (2013) You hear someone has somehow filmed an entire movie at Walt Disney World without Disney’s knowledge. You can imagine it will look like found footage garbage with key scenes shot on sets indoors. This movie was shot in shimmering black and white by a real cinematographer, and 99% of the movie […]

A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas

Film Title

A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas

Synopsis

A very stupid and needless 3D Christmas movie

Director

Todd Strauss-Schulson

Cast

Kal Penn
John Cho
Danny Trejo
Kenneth Park
A Wafflebot

A VERY HAROLD & KUMAR 3D CHRISTMAS When this movie isn’t being gross with the bodily fluid humor, or disturbing near-rape scene, (just does NOT belong in this kind of movie) it can be funny even when it is being oh, so very wrong. Oh, and a toddler gets stoned, dusted with cocaine and takes […]

Santa Claus: The Movie (1985)

Film Title

Santa Claus: The Movie (1985)

Synopsis

Another unnecessary, gaudy and creepy Santa Claus movie

Director

Jeannot Szwarc

Cast

Dudley Moore
John Lithgow
David Huddleston
Burgess Meredith
A bunch of cheesy reindeer

Santa Claus: The Movie (1985) You would think that the mash-up of Superman and the Santa Claus mythos would, at the very least, be interesting. You would be wrong. The Christopher Reeves starring Superman was such a hit that the producers decided to ape the origin story arc and apply it to Santa Claus. Interesting […]

Deck The Halls (2006)

Film Title

Deck The Halls (2006)

Synopsis

The Baby Jesus weeps from outer space.



Cast

Danny DeVito
Matthew Broderick
Kristin Davis
Kristin Chenoweth
Alia Shawkat
Dylan Blue

[The Goat Chimes in pre-review] Deck The Halls (2006) is a delightfully funny Christmas Movie starring Danny Devito, Matthew Broderick and Kristin Davis. Of course, I’m just kidding as this was a horribly failed and vulgar attempt at a cash grab movie, with zero redeeming qualities. Just fuck this movie. It was just terrible and […]

Murder on the Orient Express: Another Look

Film Title

Murder on the Orient Express

Synopsis

A lavish train ride turns into a murder mystery that must be solved quickly.

Director

Kenneth Branagh

Cast

Johnny Depp
Judy Dench
Willem Dafoe
Olivia Colman
Michelle Pfeiffer
Derek Jacobi
Leslie Odom, Jr.
Daisy Ridley
Lucy Boynton
Sergei Polunin

Murder on the Orient Express: Another Look The seventies were the Golden Ages for Agatha Christie novels being translated into movies for the big screen. Sure, one can argue that there were many versions of her novels or stories already, like 10 Little Indians, which had already been done many times, and with different titles. […]

Pride And Prejudice And Zombies (2016)

Film Title

Pride And Prejudice And Zombies (2016)

Synopsis

There are 5 sisters in England who must protect themselves from zombies and corsets.

Director

Burr Steers

Cast

Lily James
Sam Riley
Bella Heathcote
Ellie Bamber
Suki Waterhouse
Douglass Booth
Sally Phillips
Jack Huston
Charles Dance
Matt Smith

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016) is a surprise mash-up horror/romance/drama with comic undertones. It was based on the novel of the same name by Seth Grahame-Smith, (who also wrote the fun Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter). He managed to mashes up two very unlikely sources, coming up with something remarkably coherent. While A.L.V.H. was fun […]

Harpoon: Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre (2009)

Film Title

Harpoon: Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre (2009)

Director

Julius Kemp

Cast

Pihla Vitala
Nae
Terrence Anderson
Miranda Hennessy
Gunnar Hansen
Stefan Jonsson

This Icelandic film was a much better movie than the title suggested. In fact, the title was a lurid and stupid one. The original title was closer to the truth as it was promoted in Iceland as “Tryllir“, meaning something between Thriller and Horror. More a Thriller than a straight up slasher film, Harpoon was […]

You’re Next (2011)

Film Title

You're Next (2011)

Synopsis

A wedding anniversary turns into a brutal attack and one victim fights back.

Director

Adam Wingard

Cast

Sharni Vinson
Nicholas Tucci
Wendy Glenn
AJ Bowen
Joe Swanberg
Amy Seimetz
Rob Moran
Barbara Crampton

Is You’re Next (2011) a good film? Yes! It is very well made. Should anyone see this film? If you are into cut above average horror, yes! Did you, Jaimes Palacio, personally enjoy it? [crickets] Well, did you ? (I’m thinking… I’m thinking…) Here is the thing. I don’t get scared film wise. I get […]

Cockney’s vs. Zombies (2012)

Film Title

Cockneys vs. Zombies (2012)

Synopsis

After a bank heist, a gang of cockneys must battle zombies in London

Director

Matthias Hoene

Cast

Rasmus Hardiker
Harry Treadaway
Michelle Ryan
Georgia King
Tony Gardner
Alan Ford
Honor Blackman
Dudley Sutton

Bumbling bank robbers get more than they bargained for when the heist go awry. While escaping with hostages, they discover that London has been over taken by zombies. This is a wonderfully cheeky concept that works well in this movie. This film has stylistic flashbacks and jump cuts reminiscent of LOCK, STOCK & TWO SMOKING […]

Dead Snow 2-RED VS DEAD (2014)

Film Title

Dead Snow 2-RED VS DEAD (2014)

Synopsis

Another Nazi Zombie Movie for Halloween

Director

Tommy Wirkola

Cast

Vegar Hoel
Orjan Gamst
Martin Starr
Jocelyn Deboer
Ingrid Haas
Stig Frode Henriksen
Hallvard Holeman
Kristoffer Joner

Obviously this is a sequel to DEAD SNOW, a movie about Nazi Zombies coming to life (or un-death) and killing a group of friends. DS2 brings everyone up to speed in the 5 minute prologue and we learn that DS’s hero accidentally killed his girlfriend with an ax; had to chop of his arm because, […]