How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World

Film Title

How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World

Synopsis

Dragon hunters and vikings clash in a kid friendly way.

Director

Dean DeBlois

Cast

Jay Baruchel
F. Murray Abraham
America Ferrera
Cate Blanchett
Gerard Butler

There be dragons. Apparently, everyone read my rules of theater etiquette prior to the screening of How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World because everyone was on their best behavior. Thus, no complaints and we’ll get straight to a six-year old’s musings of the third installment of dragon training. What’s the movie we saw?How […]

The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part

Film Title

The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part

Synopsis

Legos are the best.

Director

Mike Mitchell

Cast

Chris Pratt
Elizabeth Banks
Charlie Day
Nick Offerman
Will Arnett
Tiffany Haddish
Alison Brie
Stephanie Beatriz

A PSA or Parental Service Announcement. Before we get to my son’s insights on The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part, we need to review proper theater etiquette. I am a huge Lego nerd and my enjoyment of the film was significantly diminished by people who have apparently never been to a movie before. The […]

The Kid Who Would be King

Film Title

The Kid Who Would be King

Synopsis

Patrick Stewart and four kids fight to stop Brexit.

Director

Joe Cornish

Cast

Patrick Stewart
Rebecca Ferguson
Angus Imrie
Louis Ashbourne Serkis
Dean Chaumoo
Tom Taylor
Rhianna Dorris

Another legend in the toilet. Walking out of The Kid Who Would be King, I was mentally justifying it:  my kid loved it (his exact words), and it is a movie for kids, so that’s all that matters…right?  But parents have to sit through these movies too, so our opinions matter a little bit.  A […]

Glass

Film Title

Glass

Synopsis

A sequel to a 19 year old movie you forgot existed.

Director

M. Night Shyamalan

Cast

Bruce Willis
Samuel Jackson
James McAvoy
Sarah Paulson
Anya Taylor-Joy
Spencer Treat Clark

Insert broken pun here. One of the biggest mysteries in Hollywood is how M. Night Shyamalan still has an active directing and writing career.  My friend and I pondered this question on our way to a screening of Shyamalan’s latest film, Glass.  After The Village disappointed countless fans, Shyamalan rapid-fired four of the worst movies […]

My Year in Reviews – 2018 Edition

Resistance is futile. Is it just me or does 2018 feel like it has lasted about a hundred years?  Between hurricanes, forest fires, racists, sexual harassers, gun massacres, and the systematic destruction of reason, decency, and ethical governing by the elephant party and the worst president this country has ever seen, I’m surprised aliens haven’t […]

Welcome to Marwen

Film Title

Welcome to Marwen

Synopsis

How to cope with PTSD. One way at least.

Director

Robert Zemeckis

Cast

Steve Carrell
Leslie Mann
Eiza Gonzalez
Merritt Wever
Gwendoline Christie
Janelle Monae
Diane Kruger
Leslie Zemeckis

Why, thank you. There is such a thing as too much political correctness, but chances are high you have not actually experienced that situation.  The general rule of thumb is if someone is complaining about political correctness, that person is really just whining that he or she can’t be an asshole to other people without […]

Bumblebee

Film Title

Bumblebee

Synopsis

A girl and her robot car are chased by two other robot cars and it was not ruined by Michael Bay.

Director

Travis Knight

Cast

Hailee Steinfeld
John Cena
Pamela Adlon
John Ortiz
Stephen Schneider
Jason Drucker
Dylan O'Brien (Voice)
Angela Bassett (Voice)
Justin Theroux (Voice)
Peter Cullen (Voice)

Are we sure this is a Transformers movie? As Bumblebee unfolded before our eyes, I had to keep asking myself if my son and I were really watching a Transformers movie.  There were no racist versions of transformers.  The movie was not exploding every twelve seconds.  There were no robots or dogs trying to hump […]

Aquaman

Film Title

Aquaman

Synopsis

Aquaman sucks.

Director

James Wan

Cast

Jason Momoa
Amber Heard
Willem Dafoe
Patrick Wilson
Nicole Kidman
Dolph Lundgren
Yahya Abdul-Mateen II

Spoon-feeding with a comically oversized ladle. I did not think Warner Brothers and DC Films could make a worse movie than Green Lantern, but Aquaman is that movie.  The point at which Aquaman stepped on my last shred of hope was when the octopus played the drums.  I am not making that up.  You do […]

Widows

Film Title

Widows

Synopsis

I will have a political-heist-thriller with a twist.

Director

Steve McQueen

Cast

Viola Davis
Michelle Rodriguez
Elizabeth Debicki
Liam Neeson
Colin Farrell
Brian Tyree Henry
Daniel Kaluuya
Robert Duvall
Cynthia Erivo

I swear this movie could have been better. I could swear director Steve McQueen has a longer filmography. I could swear that he has done a whole slew of movies similar to Widows. If we are counting the more than twenty short films he has directed, we get to that slew, but I have definitely […]

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

Film Title

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

Synopsis

A troupe of Spider-Persons try to save the universe.

Director

Bob Persichetti, Peter Ramsey, Rodney Rothman

Cast

Shameik Moore
Jake Johnson
Hailee Steinfeld
Mahershala Ali
Brian Tyree Henry
Lily Tomlin
Zoe Kravitz
John Mulaney
Kimiko Glenn
Nicholas Cage
Kathryn Hahn
Liev Schreiber
Chris Pine

The best animated feature of the year? I was not planning on going to see Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. I assumed it was going to be a throw-away film aimed specifically at comic book nerds to make an easy buck. Then, my wife asked if I was taking our six-year old son and, before I […]