The Great Wall

Film Title

The Great Wall

Synopsis

Monsters order dinner from Chinese takeout menu.

Director

Zhang Yimou

Cast

Matt Damon
Jing Tian
Pedro Pascal
Willem Dafoe
Andy Lau

I’m not sure how, but I managed to avoid trailers for The Great Wall until the night before the screening. I wasn’t even trying to avoid them, I just hadn’t seen any for this particular movie. Prior to seeing that trailer, I thought The Great Wall was a historical fiction in the vein of Tom […]

Fist Fight

Film Title

Fist Fight

Synopsis

A terrified horse tries to escape from a demented high school.

Director

Richie Keen

Cast

Charlie Day
Ice Cube
Jillian Bell
Tracy Morgan
Dean Norris

I wish someone had punched me in the face when I decided to watch this movie. Even before I said it out loud, just thinking that thought should have caused someone to run through my door and cold-cock me. I knew – KNEW –Fist Fight was going to be a terrible movie after watching the […]

The Lego Batman Movie

Film Title

The Lego Batman Movie

Synopsis

Showing Zach Snyder how to make a good DC Comics movie.

Director

Chris McKay

Cast

Will Arnett
Michael Cera
Rosario Dawson
Ralph Fiennes
Zach Galifianakis
Jenny Slate

Here’s the truth – I wanted to see The Lego Batman Movie as much as my 4-year old son. We’ve been slowly building a Lego city in our basement over the past year and I love watching his little imagination work. I also love feeling like a kid myself. So this is the perfect movie […]

John Wick: Chapter 2

Film Title

John Wick: Chapter 2

Synopsis

Knee shot, head shot. Knee shot, head shot.

 

Director

Chad Stahelski

Cast

Keanu Reeves
Laurence Fishburne
Ruby Rose
Ian McShane
Common
Riccardo Scamarcio
Claudia Gernin
John Leguizamo

It’s been two and a half years since John Wick murdered scores of people over a dead dog and stolen car and I still don’t understand how that movie scored an 85% critic rating on Rotten Tomatoes. It was easily one of the worst written movies of 2014 that somehow got a complete pass because […]

The Space Between Us

Film Title

The Space Between Us

Synopsis

Bored Martian teenager acts just like bored Earth teenager – Skyping, ignoring parents, and stealing cars.

Director

Peter Chelsom

Cast

Gary Oldman
Asa Butterfield
Carla Gugino
Britt Robertson
BD Wong

My immediate impression of The Space Between Us was it was cute, I guess. That might be the last nice thing I say about this film because I spent the last twenty-four hours realizing that it’s kind of bad. Then I looked up the current Rotten Tomatoes score and…oh. Oh no. 11%? It wasn’t that […]

Gold

Film Title

Gold

Synopsis

Matthew McConaughey drives his gold-filled Lincoln from Indonesia to New York City

Director

Stephan Gaghan

Cast

Matthew McConaughey
Edgar Ramirez
Corey Stoll
Bryce Dallas Howard
Craig T. Nelson
Stacy Keach

The first thing you are going to do after watching Gold is look up the actual story the film is based on. Actually, the real first thing you are going to do after watching Gold is find a Lincoln commercial so as to try to get the image of fat, comb-over, snaggle-tooth Matthew McConaughey out […]