ANACONDAS

How many screenwriters were needed for this?
Four. An additional three were required for the story idea.

ZOOLANDER

Zoolander, you’re serious? If they spent more than twelve dollars total on this film they got ripped off.

AMORES PERROS

That pretty much captures the essence of the film. Violence, conflict, lust and those ebullient bodily fluids running out of their containers.

ZERO EFFECT

It has come to my attention that at least one Hollywood bigshot, celebrity type read one of my reviews and was got all pissy. I won’t say who it was, other than to say that he or she is involved with Zero Effect in an important way.

ZARDOZ

The only way to enjoy ZARDOZ is to watch it and keep repeating to yourself, ‘someone MADE this. Someone MADE this”

THE AMITYVILLE HORROR (2005)

I am not kidding, dear readers — the black woman three rows ahead of me never stopped talking.

AMERICAN PSYCHO

Read the book.

AMERICA’S HEART & SOUL

Is dull

ALONE IN THE DARK

No, not Tara Reid’s brain…

ALMOST FAMOUS

Show me the fucking door.