On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

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Bond is a veteran of a thousand psychic wars. A woman tries to walk into the sea. Bond is punished for being a good samaritan. The walls of the casino have been wallpapered purple, signifying regality. Bond is pursued by anonymous thugs. His service weapon is stolen. The crane depot has a midget custodian. Bond ruins a calendar. ‘My daughter burned her heart out by living too greedily’ the father tells Bond. Bond provides a type of therapy. The woman’s father asks Bond to dominate her. Bond declines, having the bachelor’s taste for freedom. Bond tenders his resignation.

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Bern is a site of interest. M is a lepidopterist. A heraldry expert loses himself in the churches of Brittany. Bond assumes an office of great antiquity. Bond’s escutcheon contains animals, which are found in various attitudes, both rampant and passant. The rule of tincture holds. It is a simulacra of high birth. Implications are made that all aristocrats are gay. The count is an allergy specialist. Bond notes that we live in a world of avarice and deceit. Blofeld is proud of his congenital distinctions. Bond keeps his handmade key in his sporran. He plays a game of curling. The first prize is a gold plated samovar.
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Blofeld threatens to permanently part the engendering flood unless he is granted immunity. They attempt to head off Bond at the precipice. Bond abstain until marriage. Animals watch Bond sleep. A henchman is churned into red snow. Blofeld is classically trained. Certain thugs are subdued under the corpses of other thugs. Bond is the poet of beguilement. Bond’s future fatherinlaw knocks his daughter out with a single punch to the face. Bond suffers from snowblindness. Blofeld attempts an unsuccessful bobsled getaway. Moneypenny’s inevitable spinsterhood is depressing. For his fiancee, Bond serves as a placenta for dying. It turns out that Bond does not have infantile notions of pain.




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