Author: Jonny
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Alien vs. Predator
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Read more: Alien vs. PredatorYou can read all about what’s wrong with the plot of the movie on countless other websites, and rest assured it is retarded.
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The Beastmaster
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Read more: The BeastmasterMan in leather underwear controls the animals.
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Lost Highway
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Read more: Lost HighwayTo quote my old roommate, Jaquay, Lost Highway is so bad that it made me question whether…
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Bloodsport (1988)
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Read more: Bloodsport (1988)Point is, I know porn when I hear it, and that was straight up fucking porn. NAMBLA porn.
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Black Rain
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Read more: Black RainAn American Cop in Japan. Their country. Their laws. Their game. His rules.
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Escape From New York (1981)
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Read more: Escape From New York (1981)You really don’t want to fuck with Snake Plissken.
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Conan The Barbarian
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Read more: Conan The BarbarianConan hates animals. People, too.
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Conan The Destroyer
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Read more: Conan The DestroyerThe most powerful legend of all is back in a new adventure.
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Incident At Loch Ness
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Read more: Incident At Loch NessWerner Herzog is in a comedy. This is a lot better than that sounds.
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The Passion of the Christ
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Read more: The Passion of the ChristJonny shoots the messenger…