Comfortable and Furious

Sherlock Gnomes

O.K. I used to be wracked with guilt as I refused to watch or review animation and most comic book or superhero movies. I felt really bad since I browbeat Al (who no longer speaks to me) into actually spending his own money to watch and review The Emoji Movie. Since then, I have tried to broaden my movie horizons and add to my already heavy load at Ruthless. After watching Peter Rabbit, I was sure that things could not get worse. I was wrong.

Sherlock Gnomes was never remotely watchable or interesting. The trailer was a red herring to merely draw people in with fart jokes, butt jokes and twerking. The movie itself was not nearly as clever. In short, it was incredibly boring and excruciating to watch. I did not see the original Gnomeo & Juliet, which from what I hear was barely watchable. THIS movie, on the other hand, was a total waste. Oh, and for the love of a long-dead Christ, they played totally unrelated Elton John tunes, throughout the movie, and for no apparent reason.

I am in a coma watching this movie. It had no merit, no redeeming qualities at all. It just merely existed, and I do not know why. This movie has already garnered a whopping 4.6 on IMDB, a score that is optimistic, trust me. Meanwhile, I must press on with this review. Someone is stealing gnomes from English gardens, and this atrocity must be stopped! Who else to stop this outrage but a horribly animated Sherlock Holmes.

The animation was terrible and the story was only for a simpleton to enjoy. I just regret that I could have been spending my time watching something like Poutrygeist or The Beast of Yucca Flats. It was just that awful.

The main thrust of the movie was about the hapless and dickless Gnomeo. This poor porcelain wimp’s character was the main casualty of this terrible movie. It was downright embarrassing as he was the cuckold butt of almost every scene that he was in. I guess this movie could have been liked by someone (I BELIEVE in miracles!), but I doubt it. It was a hot, steaming mess.

This movie gets a very low 2.0/10.0 and a Goatesians Razzie for un-watchability.



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