Comfortable and Furious

Short Circuit 2

Predator, Crocodile Dundee, Johnny Five… what do all of these characters have in common? That’s right, they got their sequel in a city. Any Joe-blow can dominate in their comfort zone. What makes or breaks a man, alien, or robot is how they react when thrust into a concrete jungle of human misery.

Short Circuit 2 was one of my favorite movies as a child. I hadn’t seen it in over twenty years. After watching it the other night, I realized that I had forgotten about how absurdly beautiful it is. I’m not going to review it. I’m just going to give you 5 reasons why you need to re-watch this chaotic masterpiece.

5.) The Weird Ancillary Characters. 

Back in the 80’s, there was no internet, so people weren’t connected as much. You could lie about anything and get away with it. You could say, People in Canada eat their boogers for brunch and wear capes. It’s the style there! Kids in Arkansas would believe it. Because of that, you could dress up people and turn them into cartoonish stereotypes in pretty much any movie. Anything seemed plausible.

4.) Johnny Five Goes Full 9/11

Johnny 5 pulls an inside job by flying a remote-controlled plane right up some guy’s butt. Funny thing was, the guy didn’t completely collapse after. Probably because the Illuminati didn’t plant explosives inside of him. Everybody knows that battery acid can’t melt the beams in the human heart. Also, no Jews died in the entire movie. Really makes you think. I’m just disappointed that nobody wrote any country songs about this film yet.

3.) The Harsh Lessons of the Streets

This movie taught me one thing as a child. Everyone who lives inside of a city is a filthy, desperate scheming garbage person. Every person Johnny meets (except his creator) wants to exploit, kill, or insult him.

2.) The Perils and Plights of the Unskilled Laborer

This was the first movie that introduced me to the cutthroat world of robot building. Who knew things could be so brutal? At first, a bunch of homeless people who are paid in chicken nuggets start trying to build thousands of toy robots, but they are scared away by crowbar-wielding psychos who smash the place up. Johnny Five shows up and builds all of the toys in a few hours, proving that all unskilled manufacturing jobs will eventually be taken over by robots.

1.) Los Locos

Los Locos. They’ll kick your ass. They’ll kick your face. And of course, your balls, they’re going to outer space. They only take up a few minutes of screen time, but they are one of the most memorial street gangs in movie history. I always wondered what happened to them. Luckily History Channel’s Gangland series did an episode on them. Enjoy: