Comfortable and Furious

The Bible: A Book Review

The Bible is a collection of books that is viewed as some sort of masterpiece by its subscribers because of their fear and confirmation bias. What the Bible really is, is a collection of books that loosely chronicle the history of some primitive and very violent people who by their own coronation, somehow were the chosen people of the God they invented.

The Bible is not particularly well written, organized and quite a bit of it is about as readable as James Joyce. Try making some sense out of Song of Solomon, for example. You know it’s naughty and most clergy steer pretty clear of it, but just try to read it to see what I mean. If you want to read about horse ejaculate, this is your book. As well as being poorly written, a lot of the Bible is just disgusting and barbaric. Psalms 137:9 talks about dashing babies brains out on the rocks and being happy about it. Other verses are lewd and off the chart in misogyny. It is a horrible guideline for Family Values, but people see what they want to see. The Revelations of John stands alone in weirdness, doom and horror.

The Bible also contains hundreds of inconsistencies and contradictions, often in the same book. These bloopers created a whole new discipline called apologetics, which is the study of “We know what it says, but this is what it REALLY means”.

I guess the greatest failure of this book of fails is the Superstar God and his Son, who is also himself. The Bible paints God as a bi-polar, ill-tempered, whimsical spoiled brat, kinda like our former President. Everything God tried to do, he failed. He failed with Adam and Eve, he failed in eradicating evil in the Great Flood where he sent everyone save the Ark crew to a horrible death (men, women, animals, pregnant women, unborn, everyone) because…“the world had become too violent!”. No, you can’t make this stuff up. He also failed with his Son being tortured and crucified, because his chosen people ending up rejecting him (therefore God), and still do.

Someone mentioned that the Bible was all about Salvation. I say that the Bible is all about childish beliefs of people who cannot deal with their own mortality. The Bible offers a terrible, terrible plan of Salvation, “Believe or ELSE!” I give the Bible low marks for the message, the writing, the style and a complete zero for accuracy.

Ignore The Bible and read Catch 22 by Joseph Heller instead. If you don’t want to read the entire Bible, I don’t blame you. There is one very good book that provides a synopsis of The Bible in all of its hateful glory and that is Ken’s Guide To The Bible, available at amazon. Highly recommended.

Favorite Bible Verses:

  • Anyone arrogant enough to reject the verdict of the judge or of the priest who represents the LORD your God must be put to death. Such evil must be purged from Israel. (Deuteronomy 17:12 NLT)
  • Anyone who is captured will be run through with a sword. Their little children will be dashed to death right before their eyes. Their homes will be sacked and their wives raped by the attacking hordes. For I will stir up the Medes against Babylon, and no amount of silver or gold will buy them off. The attacking armies will shoot down the young people with arrows. They will have no mercy on helpless babies and will show no compassion for the children.(Isaiah 13:15-18 NLT)
  • Why have you let all the women live? he demanded. These are the very ones who followed Balaam’s advice and caused the people of Israel to rebel against the LORD at Mount Peor. They are the ones who caused the plague to strike the LORD’s people. Now kill all the boys and all the women who have slept with a man. Only the young girls who are virgins may live; you may keep them for yourselves.(NUM 31:17-18)
  • And whatsoever ye ask in my name I do, that the Father may be glorified in the son. If ye ask any thing in my name, I will do it (John 14:14-13) NOTE: Jesus clearly lied. There are at least 8 other verses in the New Testament that say the same thing,
  • When a man strikes his male or female slave with a rod so hard that the slave dies under his hand, he shall be punished. If, however, the slave survives for a day or two, he is not to be punished, since the slave is his own property. (Exodus 21:20-21 NAB)
  • Brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.(Matthew 10:21)
  • So shall it be at the end of the world: the angels shall come forth, and sever the wicked from among the just(Matt 13:49) Reading The Bible objectively, it is pretty easy to see who “the wicked” are.
  • I hate them with perfect hatred: I count them mine enemies (Psalms 139:22) NOTE: Hate, the most common theme in The Bible

Also Check out these articles about the Bible:

The ABC’s of the Old Testament: Part One

The ABC’s of the Old Testament: Part 2

The ABC’s of the New Testament: Part One

The ABC’s of the New Testament: Part 2



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