About Bartholemew Cobb

Traveling salesman. I have danced with 12 governor's wives and hold the keys to 9 small towns. My friends are the highest and lowest in society, line cooks, chiefs of police, pimps and retired generals.

How to Create a Film Fan in Five Easy Flicks

My cousin doesn’t understand my work, movies bore him, he says, but I don’t blame him, since in his mid-twenties and according to him has never seen a black and white movie all the way through his cinema appreciation is in the dumps. Double that the only movies he’s actually seen have been post 2000s, […]

The Insult of Cocaine Bear is Greater Than its Mere Crapitude

I.. Am. Dismayed. Dismayed and adrift. Dismayed, adrift, unseen and ignored. What brought me to this lowly state? Why, I’ll tell you. ON NO LESS THAN NINE OCCASIONS has Hollywood passed on my Kiplingesque treatment of nature by making Cocaine Bear…an insult I have not seen and will not see, but the pain, the sting, […]

The Shining

Film Title

The Shining


A hotel, bathed in blood, wrapped in a puzzle and stuffed up the keister of an enigma.


Stanley Kubrick


Jack Nicholson
Shelly Duvall
Scatman Carruthers
Danny Lloyd
Barry Nelson
Phillip Stone

A hotel, bathed in blood, wrapped in a puzzle and stuffed up the keister of an enigma, The Shining relays the less-than-straightforward tale of a psychic boy helplessly trapped in a quagmire of perverted demons and murdered guests all wanting a fresh bite of whomever took the job of winter caretaker. That would be Jack […]

The Day Of The Jackal (1973)

Film Title

The Day of the Jackal


A professional assassin is hired to kill President Charles DeGaulle


Fred Zinnemann


Edward Fox
Terence Alexander
Michael Auclair
Denis Carrey
Tony Britton
Cyril Cusack

“August 1962 was a stormy time for France. Many people felt that President Charles de Gaulle had betrayed France by giving independence to Algeria. Extremists, mostly from the army, swore to kill him in revenge. They banded together in an underground movement and called themselves the OAS.” This was the beginning narration of what would […]

An Angry Rant About Something

“The modern audience” They did it again, they ruined something I loved, and the poor executives had no choice but to do it, such is their power, such is their reach. [scratchy audio] Mr. Cobb: Is that them…them, coming out of Applebee’s, it looks like them[inaudible] What do you mean “how are they supposed to […]

Violent Thoughts About A Film-maker

Violent thoughts about a filmmaker are rare, and should be, unless that filmmaker is Rian Johnson. Why? What thoughts should you have if the dilettante manor-borne son of the elite without a tenth of the talent required to actually claim a chair amongst that elite were to take power and, say, set torch to everything […]

Memorable Movie Scenes: Part 34

Movie: Amadeus Synopsis:  Mozart dies an orchestrated death while orchestrating a death mass for his dead father assisted by a man who brought death on his own dad and now wants Mozart dead because God orchestrated Mozart’s music  to mock him and now he makes like Mozart’s dead dad to make Mozart make a death […]

Batman Returns Again

Some people think Die Hard is a Christmas movie and I’m not here to contradict them though it’s in my every bone to do so, it’s Christmas, we should get along, somebody somewhere invented the idea that it was rude to ask these people exactly what the analytical criteria for a Christmas movie might be, […]

Memorable Movie Scenes: Part 22

Movie: Citizen Kane: The More You Tally the Smaller the Sum…-or -You Can Never Go Home Again, Even If You’re Stinkin’ Rich The addition of Potassium to the periodic table would spark a paranoid political firestorm unseen since Ytterbium led to the 1914 invasion of Haiti. Orson Wells made a habit of thinking way above […]

Memorable Movie Scenes: Part 6

Movie: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly -or- Three men in a graveyard -or- Game Theory dons a Poncho First you get yourself a graveyard, but not any graveyard, try for a Mexican Catholic one in Texas, way out in the chaparral, and since Mexicans, living or dead, like company make it big, say, […]