About Bartholemew Cobb

Traveling salesman. I have danced with 12 governor's wives and hold the keys to 9 small towns. My friends are the highest and lowest in society, line cooks, chiefs of police, pimps and retired generals.

An Angry Rant About Something

February 24, 2023 by Bartholemew Cobb

“The modern audience” They did it again, they ruined something I loved, and the poor executives had no choice but to do it, such is their power, such is their reach. [scratchy audio] Mr. Cobb: Is that them…them, coming out of Applebee’s, it looks like them[inaudible] What do you mean “how are they supposed to […]

Violent Thoughts About A Film-maker

February 10, 2023 by Bartholemew Cobb

Violent thoughts about a filmmaker are rare, and should be, unless that filmmaker is Rian Johnson. Why? What thoughts should you have if the dilettante manor-borne son of the elite without a tenth of the talent required to actually claim a chair amongst that elite were to take power and, say, set torch to everything […]

Memorable Movie Scenes: Part 34

December 27, 2022 by Bartholemew Cobb

Movie: Amadeus Synopsis: Mozart dies an orchestrated death while orchestrating a death mass for his dead father assisted by a man who brought death on his own dad and now wants Mozart dead because God orchestrated Mozart’s music to mock him and now he makes like Mozart’s dead dad to make Mozart make a death […]

Batman Returns Again

December 26, 2022 by Bartholemew Cobb

Some people think Die Hard is a Christmas movie and I’m not here to contradict them though it’s in my every bone to do so, it’s Christmas, we should get along, somebody somewhere invented the idea that it was rude to ask these people exactly what the analytical criteria for a Christmas movie might be, […]

Memorable Movie Scenes: Part 22

October 28, 2022 by Bartholemew Cobb

Movie: Citizen Kane: The More You Tally the Smaller the Sum…-or -You Can Never Go Home Again, Even If You’re Stinkin’ Rich The addition of Potassium to the periodic table would spark a paranoid political firestorm unseen since Ytterbium led to the 1914 invasion of Haiti. Orson Wells made a habit of thinking way above […]

Memorable Movie Scenes: Part 6

September 30, 2022 by Bartholemew Cobb

Movie: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly -or- Three men in a graveyard -or- Game Theory dons a Poncho First you get yourself a graveyard, but not any graveyard, try for a Mexican Catholic one in Texas, way out in the chaparral, and since Mexicans, living or dead, like company make it big, say, […]

Yojimbo

July 24, 2022 by Bartholemew Cobb

Film Title

Yojimbo

Synopsis

A Fistful of Yen before Clint Eastwood

Director

Akira Kurosawa

Cast

Toshiro Mifune
A bunch of other Nips that I am too lazy to spell

A tall dark stranger ambles into a rural japanese town…and proceeds to lop off forty arms, half a dozen legs, the occasional head and ALL ORGANIZED CRIME, in a matter of three days, thus is the seemingly straightforward but, in practice, delightfully tangled knot of betrayal and deceit in Akira Kurasawa’s masterpiece of samurai ass-whoopery […]

Falling Down: the ‘Alternate point-of-view’

July 5, 2022 by Bartholemew Cobb

It’s a rampage! Hard-workin’ man wake up and don’t have a say. Single-mom minorities destroyin’ what his daddy made. Bitches thinkin’ they can do his job, And why? Because he didn’t stop it the very first day. I’m done watching my ship sink into the sea, If no one’s gonna bail, it has to be […]

Delta-Endorsed Bonkery -or-the Southern Gothic Metric of Madness

June 18, 2022 by Bartholemew Cobb

Men behaving badly is the foundation of international drama. Since you need conflict, you need a motivation for bad behavior. I first learned to write in the smoky southern bars off the main college drag. I was haunted by cream-suited artistes sitting at the same booth, hunched over the same manuscript and nursing the same […]